Page 132 of Rivals
The bathroom door opens, and I keep my eyes glued to the screen. A moment later, he comes to stand next to the couch. I keep looking at the screen, ignoring him, not because I’m mad, but because I’m confused. I don’t know what to do right now, and I don’t want to upset him more than he already is. He sighs and plops on the couch next to me, laying his head on my lap.
My hands automatically go to his hair, and I draw my fingers through the damp locks. He rubs his cheek against my thigh, and I peek down at him as his eyes close. We stay like that for three episodes of the show I’m watching. I don’t pay much attention to it, too many thoughts roll around in my mind. A snore bubbles from his lips, and my legs have gone a bit numb, but I can’t find it in myself to move. I don’t want to wake him up. He’s had a day. I can see it on his tired face.
The episode ends, and a new one starts. Before I have the chance to skip the intro, the music blares, startling Lachlan awake, he rolls over to his back and looks up at me. He lifts his hand to my face and traces my lips, nose, and eyebrows as I stare down at him.
“I love you, little bird,” he rasps.
I frown down at him and rub my palm on his beard. “I love you, too.” He reaches for my hand and pulls my forearm to check the tattoos. I’m glad I got them. I don’t regret it for a minute. They are beautiful and perfect. It feels like it connects me to Lachlan in a new way. I never thought I would want something like that from another person. It’s surprising that after you allow yourself to love someone, you start wanting things you never thought you had the chance at.
“Have you been brainstorming for the project?” he asks. I sigh and look out the window.
“No,” I mumble.
“Revna,” he groans. I draw my fingers from his hair and look at him lying on my lap.
“What do you want me to say, Lachlan? I can’t think of anything, and you’re not giving me any ideas. So what do you want?”
He sits up. “What’s that supposed to mean? I have been trying, too.”
“Have you?” I ask him. “Because it looks like whatever happened this morning has rocked your world, and you haven’t done anything else,” I snap.
“I am doing my best, Revna,” he says with an edge to his tone.
“And you don’t think I am?!” I yell.
He grits his teeth, and something flickers in his eyes. “What is your problem?” I ask him.
He huffs. “You trust me, right?” he asks. I nod stiffly. “Good, so I need you to drop this.”
I frown and cross my arms. “What the hell is wrong with you? What’s with all of this?” I say, gesturing to him.
“I could say the same to you, Revna,” he bites out.
“You know what, screw you. I’m done with this conversation.” I get off the couch and head for the bathroom to get ready for bed.
I’m already in bed by the time Lachlan flips off the light. But I don’t feel it dip on his side. I lift my head to find him throwing his pillow on the couch and a blanket in his hand. He’s hurting, and he’s pulling away from me because of it. It kills me that I don’t know how to help him. I am failing him.
Chapter 78
Revna
Hewasoffagainthis morning. I felt that same desperation I felt last night, and I’m at a loss. I know what that feeling is. I’ve been there before many times, and I can feel it creeping in on me. The pressure keeps building, and the list of things we need to do is so overwhelming that I’m struggling to breathe.
I walk into the diner and Betty eyes me carefully. The past few shifts with her have been rough, but it’s not because of her. It’s me. I know that. I know that snapping at her isn’t fair, either. “Are you going to bite my head off again this morning?” Betty says. I toss her a look and hang my stuff up in the back storage room. She knows Lachlan and I are together, orgoing steady, as she calls it.
Shoulder first, I push through the door and knot my apron at my back. I still can’t think of anything else Lachlan and I can do for our final piece. I’m still set on our version of a Sistine Chapel. I know he doesn’t want to put our stories out there for all the world to see. I get that, but I think we can do it in a way that isn’t like we’re walking naked through Times Square.
I think he doesn’t want to see it. Regardless, his anger is clouding everything else. The balance that we had is teetering, and it’s more inevitable than anything that we will crash. I take a deep breath and pour myself a cup of coffee.
Betty clears her throat, and I glance at her over the rim of my mug. “No, Betty. I’m going to try not to.” She purses her lips in response. She walks down the counter to pour a cop a cup of coffee. His eyes are tired, and it looks like he pulled a double and just got off.
I look around the rest of the diner. The regulars are already here, but other than that, it’s quiet. “How is Lachlan?” Betty asks.
I look away because I have no idea how to answer that question. I need a break, I need a minute. Lachlan can’t give it to me, and I sure as hell can’t seem to give it to myself, so I did the one thing I said I wouldn’t. I feel weak and pathetic, but at least after I take it, I won’t feel it anymore. “Revna,” Betty sings.
I release a breath and lean against the counter. “He’s fine,” I mumble.
“Hm,fine. Well, last time I checked, when a woman says the word fine about anything, that means it’snot fine. How do I know this? Because I’m old enough to be your grandmother, and I’ve been around the block a few times. And I may or may not have said that to many men in my youth. Spit it out, little girl.”
