Page 46 of Fighting For Light
“We will build contingencies. Let us know about the wedding. I’ll talk to Mom, and we will get back to you,” Emerson says.
“Alright,” I mutter, and we all hang up without goodbyes. I saunter back into the restaurant, schooling my features. Mom and Cordelia are eating as I drop into my seat next to her. Cordi takes a sip of water, then I grab her chin and crash my lips against hers. I don’t care who’s watching. It’s one thing to know of the realities of life and the circumstances around it. I’ve been aware of my reality for many years. We know how to protect ourselves and each other. But when you add the vulnerable into it, a baby that cannot fight for themself, and my best friend who truly has no grasp on the level of power my father has over others, it makes me want to puke and set the world on fire to protect them.
I glance at Mom, and she seems to read through my façade. And Cordelia does, too. I’ll have some explaining to do. The plate of eggs, bacon, and sausage is waiting on my plate, long cold now, but I eat them anyway, hardly tasting them. The girls talk until it’s time for us to go so I can get ready for tonight.
“Are you going to tell me what that was all about?” Cordelia asks, sitting on the couch in the trailer. I take a step towards the door and hesitate before spinning around and taking three large steps to her, dropping to my knees. I lean forward and press my lips to her belly, and she gasps softly before running her fingers through my hair. “What’s going on, Kai?” she asks.
I look up into her beautiful, ocean-blue eyes and say, “I need to get my head straight for tonight, otherwise, I can’t jump. I will tell you everything after.”
She senses the stress in my voice. “Okay,” she whispers.
“I love you,” I tell her and haul myself out of the trailer.
23
Cordelia
I smile at Kaibefore he takes his place in the arena for his round. I hold up my camera, ready to catch him in the middle of a jump. Before he goes down the hill to gain speed for his flip, I can feel his eyes on me through his dark goggles. He’s doing what my dad did when my parents were together. Dad would look at us long and hard as we stood on the side of the track, waiting for him to take off.
When my parents were happy, I remember Mom not being able to breathe until he crossed the finish line. I now understand how she felt. It’s like my lungs refuse to work until Kai turns the bike off.
Kai waves his hand, giving me the signal. He gains speed over the hill and lifts slightly off his bike. My heart pounds as I snap pictures, and the back wheel of the bike drops as he grabs the handlebars backward. He does a handstand, curving his body back towards the front wheel, doing a tsunami. My finger clicks the shutter, and it goes off at rapid speed, snapping pictures faster than the blink of an eye.
Before I know it, he lands and slows to a stop, the crowd going wild. He takes a minute, then rounds to another hill and ramp. His bike screams, pushing the throttle as hard as it can go. He lifts himself slightly off the seat, prepping for another jump, and hurls his bike up over his head while still holding on to the handlebars, flipping over again in a double backflip. He lands hard, and my heart stops as the back wheel wiggles a little, but he catches himself going down the dirt ramp, coming to a stop.
He finishes his round, scoring lower than typical, and disappears into the tunnel out of sight.Deep breath. Deacon and Casey are next, followed by the new member of the team, Dallas Fuller. He’s from Texas and pretty well known for being a level-headed rider. We need riders who aren’t off their rockers like Rafe. He had a bad habit of getting Casey and Deacon going. It’s not suitable for the team or for any of them individually.
After they each take their turn and I’m done taking photos, I go down to the area they have the teams stationed in. Some teams have their bikes on stands, and my mind goes to when Kai was first learning to ride and I was staying with Dad for the summer. He fell so many times I remember not being able to catch my breath. But eventually, he got the hang of it. He became the absolute best at what he does because nothing less is acceptable to him.
***
It’s time to talk to Dad and tell him what the plan is. I hate disappointing him. As a kid, he was what many child psychologists would consider unstable because he moved around with the team, and there was nohometo go back to. But I’ve always loved that about Dad. He would make the best of having his young, preteen daughter living with him in a two-hundred-square-foot space during the summer. He saidhe never needed much, especially when Mom left him. I wasn’t with him during the school year, so during the summers, when I stayed with him, and we were in between races or on small breaks, he would take me to all kinds of places. I’ve been to almost every national park across the country, concerts, and skydiving—Mom doesn’t know about that one. I’ve had nothing but adventure and fun with Dad because he knew I never got that with Mom. So, I would consider my father one of the most stable and reliable men I’ve ever known. The fact that he’s barely talking to me hits me straight in the heart; it’s almost too much to swallow. But I have no choice but to force it down because it doesn’t just affect me. It affects this baby and Kai, too.
While I wait for Kai, I shower and change into another dress before starting the editing process to send photos to sponsors. I crop and adjust saturations, falling into my work. I love photography, yet another thing I fell in love with while spending time with Dad.
The camper door swings open, and Kai steps through shoeless, the buckle on his pants undone. I gulp, looking at him and his sweaty, slicked-back hair.
“Hey, gem. Sorry, I’m running late. I know you want to talk to Reece. I have a surprise for you, though.”
My heart does an excited dance. “What’s the surprise?” I ask him.
“Well…I thought you might like a pre-wedding gift with a little more space.”
I frown, confused. “Why would I want more space from you?”
He chuckles and whips off his shirt, and I swallow the groan sitting in my throat. He has no idea how hard it’s been to keep my hands off of him or not fall to my knees and beg him to take me now.
“I’m not saying you do, but I got us a room at a hotel. I thought you would like it. I thought we could consider it a little engagement getaway.”
I smile. He clearly thought about this, and I love that he did it. “Thank you, that sounds really nice.”
“Good, uh, I booked it for a few days, so we should get our stuff together and go check in.”
“Okay, I want to talk to Dad first. But, Kai?” He hums and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. “What are we going to say?”
He grins and leans against the counter. “I’m going to tell him I love his daughter, and I’m sorry for going behind his back.”
I shake my head. “But you didn’t do any of those things, and you sort of said that already.”
