Page 72 of Fighting For Light
“Yes, there is, actually. I’m starting to get worried. We may have to do an engine replacement.”
“Or maybe I need someone to help me flush the pipes. It might clear everything out.” Cordelia snorts, and the smoothie comes out of her nose. She catches it before it drops on her computer, and I grab a paper towel to help her clean it up.
“That hurt, and that was gross,” she says, shaking her head.
I grin as she glances at my crotch. “I was joking, gem.” Her skin flushes an adorable pink, and I shake my head. “Who knew you had such a dirty mind?”
She shrugs and sips her smoothie. “What can I say? I look at you and immediately get ideas.”
My eyebrow ticks up, and I lean over, kissing her forehead. “Now that I like the sound of,” I say, dragging my knuckles over her cheek.
She knocks my hand away and levels me with a look. “Stop avoiding my question. What’s on your mind? You better tell me, otherwise I will stand in the middle of that track until you get off that bike.”
I sit across from her, and she shuts her laptop, waiting for me to talk. This is why she’s my best friend. She has always been a good listener, not that I’ve ever shared a lot with her. Even when I couldn’t tell her something, she knew I needed her. Just like she does now. I take a breath and look her in the eye.
“I’ll give it all up if you want me to. If it makes you that nervous or fearful, it doesn’t matter. I will give it up for you,” I say, enunciating each word.
Her eyes are wide, and lips parted in surprise. She swipes her hand across her cheek and levels me with a stare. “Listen to me very carefully, Kai. I do not want you to give anything up. You love this, and I will never ask you to stop doing something you love. I’ll admit, for some reason, it scares me more now to watch you flying in the air like Superman, with no superpowers or a way to land, but I don’t want you to feel forced into making choices about things that make you happy, Kai.”
I reach for her hand and thumb the ring on her finger. If I quit, there would be one less cause of death that could be listed for me. But I love what I do. I’ll give it up if she asks me to. I already decided to do that for her, even if it meant giving up the only other thing that takes the weight off my shoulders. Because now I have her, and she makes all of it worth it.
“I’ve been keeping my identity a secret, baby. I am Superman. Surprise,” I chuckle and kiss her knuckles.
“Kai, I’m being serious,” she mutters. Anxiety tightens in my chest. Usually, I can ignore it, but I’m not having much luckat the moment. What I want isn’t as important anymore. What matters is Cordi, the baby, and my family. Period.
“I know, baby, but right now, if it’s one thing that could keep me from growing old with you, then I’ll do it.”
“I respect that, but kids look up to you. People are inspired by you. I am not the only one affected by you leaving the team. Now…if youwantto leave because you want to do something else, I support you wholeheartedly. Where you go, I go. But don’t make this choice becauseI’mscared of what could happen. I don’t want you to resent me for it. I don’t want it to come between us. And under no circumstances do I want you to be thinking about me being worried about you leaping into the air. Your mind needs to be focused when you’re on that bike.”
I stare at her, absorbing every word she said. “Are you sure?”
She huffs and wiggles herself out of her seat, coming around the table. I turn to face her, and she sits on my lap, draping her arms around my neck.
“I’m positive, babe. I love you, and I want you to be happy. And I know this makes you happy.”
“Okay then, at the very least, I’m going to get rid of my bike,” I tell her.
“What do you mean, your R7? You love that bike.”
“I do, but if it means I’m less likely to be taken from you unexpectedly, then so be it.”
“We have some good memories on that bike,” she says.
I smile and twirl a piece of her hair around my finger. She’s right. I drove my fiancée on that bike. She looks good on that bike. I had other plans for us to explore on that bike. Maybe I shouldn’t sell it.
“Do you want me to keep it?”
“I want you to do whatever you think is best, but not because of me. But it would be cool if maybe you put it in storage for awhile because I would like to ride with you again when I’m not pregnant.”
I smile at that. Cordi likes the thrill.
“Alright, baby, I’ll keep it.”
I lay my head on her chest. Her fingers run through my hair, centering me, fortifying my mind for the race ahead.
Her hands pause for a second, and I lean my head back. “And if…you need a way to get your head on straight before a competition, you come to me, and we can burn off some of thatanxiety,“ she says, and I chuckle silently and lift my head to press my lips to hers. She smiles against my mouth.
We sit there for a bit. In this quiet moment, I can feel our friendship grow and change from the love we are feeding it. When I’m with her, I am in awe that my best friend is the love of my life. I am blown away that after she knows all my dirty and dark secrets, she still loves me. She is nothing short of a miracle to me.
