Page 76 of Fighting For Light
Twisting the top off the water bottle, I down it.
“All good, baby,” I tell her, wiping the dribble off my mouth. She stares at me for a moment, then closes her eyes.
I finish undressing and hop into the shower. By the time I get out, Cordelia is asleep. I check the windows one more time before slipping into bed.
“You’re being especially paranoid right now, and I’m trying not to let it stress me out,” she says with her eyes closed.
I scoot closer to her so we’re nose to nose, almost sharing a breath. She peeps her eyes open one at a time. The light of the moon shines through the window past the blinds, making her eyes look darker. Titling my head, I kiss her because I need tofeel her lips on mine, knowing she will calm the paranoia sitting on my chest.
Cordelia pulls back and kisses my nose. “I’ve been thinking,” she says quietly.
“Uh oh, watch out.”
She huffs and pushes my shoulder like she’s mad. “I’m being serious, Kai,” she mumbles.
I chuckle and pull her closer to me. “I’m sorry, baby. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She sighs and lifts her hand to run her fingers through my hair. I close my eyes, sinking into the soothing feeling, and almost fall asleep.
“I’ve been thinking about baby names,” she says.
“Okay,” I mumble, sleepy.
“Did you have any ideas?”
My heart picks up, and I open my eyes. She’s staring at me, waiting for an answer, and I don’t know what to say. She hasn’t directly told me she wants me to be this kid’s fatherlegally. We haven’t worked out those details at all, and the custody paperwork is still in process. So, of all things, I didn’t think my opinion on a name would be considered. “Honestly, no. I…I didn’t think you wanted my opinion.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” she whispers.
I grab her hand and kiss her fingers. “I realize the lawyers don’t think it’s going to be an issue for sole custody, but I didn’t want to push you on how I played into that, even if I’m your husband.”
She sighs and clasps my face. “Thank you, because I had no idea where to start, and it brought up a lot of crap about my parents. So thank you for doing all of that for me.”
“You’re welcome,” I mumble. I want this kid to be mine. I want my name on his birth certificate. After this little guy, when she’s ready, I want more babies with her. I find myself thinking aboutit all the time. But we’re relearning each other, and the last thing she needs is my overzealous desire to keep her pregnant while we navigate this new life. Even though she looks so damn good pregnant.
“I still want your opinion on a name, though,” she whispers.
I grab her hip and squeeze it gently. “I hadn’t really thought about it. Tell me what you had in mind.”
“What does your name mean?” she asks.
I smile at her in the dark. “It means different things in different cultures. I think that’s why my mom liked it. But it means the sea.”
“Oh, that’s pretty.”
“I looked up what your name means.”
She smiles against my lips. “What does it mean?”
I kiss her. “It means jewel of the sea.”
She gasps. “That’s…wow that feels…”
“Almost like it was predestined?” I suggest as my heart kicks. I’ve felt it since we were kids. She has always had this pull on me. Every time she was close, I wanted to be next to her. Everything she wanted to do, I said yes before my brain had a chance to catch up.
“Yeah,” she says, breathily.
“It’s like we were fated from the beginning,” I say, getting quieter as I speak.
