Page 85 of Fighting For Light
“And maybe some of those books I’ve seen you reading before. Sit down,” he says quickly.
I listen and put my butt back in my seat. “You soundembarrassed, Kai.”
He clears his throat again and lets go of my hand to reach for his water. “I’m not embarrassed, babe.”
I giggle and rest my chin on my palm. “I think you were reading one of the cozy mysteries that usually have a cat in a teacup or piece of pie and a gun on the cover I’ve read. I don’t think you knew what you were getting into, but…I suspect youlikedit.”
He rolls his lips over his teeth, and the corner of his mouth tips up. Then it hits me, and I gasp. “You actually liked the story, didn’t you?” I ask him like it’s major news.
“Maybe,” he grumbles.
“Oh, I think it’s ayes, especially because that face tells me everything I need to know.”
He smiles wider.
“I read the rest of the series,” he says.
I burst out in laughter and say, “It’s cute, you know…reading books you saw me reading.”
I watch his chest move up slowly with a deep inhale, and he glances at me. “It was one of the few ways I could be closer to you. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how to explain it.”
My heart thumps sadly, and my stomach sinks. “We wasted so much time,” I say, looking out the window. “We were such idiots for not…just going for it, you know?”
He reaches for my hand. “I was the idiot, but I did it to keep you safe. But you’re here anyway, so I guess I failed.”
“How do you think you failed me?” I ask him.
“I drug you into my messy and confusing life, exposing you and the baby to who the hell knows what.”
“Last time I checked, you can’t see into the future, Kai. But we do have right now. Tomorrow isn’t here yet,” I say, and he goes quiet for a moment. My eyes burn, but I force the tears away.I cry at anything lately, but he will want to console me instead of realizing we were inevitable. It doesn’t matter how hard he worked to keep me at a distance. It doesn’t matter if he was trying to keep me safe. It doesn’t matter that this started as a way for him to help his best friend. He is mine; he always has been. I guess it took getting pregnant for him to realize that. Yes, backward, but now we get to move forward. Together.
“I would take a bullet for you, gem. You know that, right?”
I nod, unable to stop the tears this time. He huffs and holds my hand.
“I feel like I say this too much, but I love you, Kai. I love you so much it kind of hurts,” I say, wishing I could climb into his lap and have him wrap me in his arms. His arms are the safest place I’ve ever been.
He groans and slows the truck down, pulling off to the shoulder and throwing it into park. He turns to face me fully. “Don’t ever,everstop telling me how much you love me. It’s a reminder for me. I love my family, and I would die to protect them. You are my family now, and I would kill for you. Telling me you love me makes me feel like I’m not this evil devil’s spawn using his family as an excuse to get revenge on his father. He has made our lives hell from the moment my brothers and I were born. Your love reminds me that he doesn’t have that kind of power over me, not anymore. Because if someone like you can love a man like me, then it’s worth fighting for.”
I’m speechless. Before I can string a sentence together, he hauls my face to his and writes love on my heart with his kiss. He pulls away and kisses each cheek. “Okay?” he asks. I nod in his hold. “Don’t ever stop,” he says, almost as if he’s begging me.
I nod again because words are too hard.
“I love you, too, gem. So much that it makes me wonder how you’re mine every time I say it.”
I blink a few times, trying to gather myself. “We should probably get that amnesia checked out.”
His serious expression grows into a smile, and he laughs. “That’s my girl,” he says, dropping his hands and putting the truck back in drive as he pulls onto the highway again.
***
We get to the arena with plenty of time for Kai to do his routine and for me to finish some work. I even managed to take a nap with him. Though, we didn’t do a whole lot of sleeping. I stare at him shirtless with his unbuckled riding pants hanging low on his hips.
“You are killing me,” he groans.
I shrug and feign indifference. “Maybe you should put some clothes on.”
“Or maybe you should take some clothesoff,“ he says, looking me up and down.
