Page 116 of Fighting For Light
“Oh, is that right? What did you have in mind?” I smile.
“Cordelia, darling, I have some questions about the ceremony and the reception.” Kai groans into my neck and stands straight. He walks us slowly to the pool stairs, gently floats me down onto them, and sits next to me.
“Alright, Mom. Let the questions fly,” Kai says, tipping his head back. I reach for his hand and link it with mine. She volleys questions that Kai and I answer, one after the other.
“See? That was simple. Cordelia, have you found a dress yet?”
I shake my head. I don’t even want to look because it means most likely not getting the dress I want. Again, I’m the size of a whale. My options will be limited, and I can’t bring myself to look. Waiting until the last minute won’t work either. Plus, the dress has to stun and amaze, according to Esmarie.
“Well, darling, time is ticking, you know,” she says gently. I nod again and lift myself off the stairs, back into the water.
“I think that’s enough for today, Mom. Thank you for doing this for us.”
“Of course. I’m going to have cake and food tastings brought in tomorrow, so you can decide,” she says.
“Sounds great, thank you,” Kai says.
“Thank you, Esmarie, for everything. Really.”
“You’re welcome, my darlings,” she says and struts back into the house.
***
We’re in the house, and I hear a baby scream. My heart feels like it’s trying to exit my chest as I leap out of bed. When I step into my son’s room, he isn’t in his crib. Screaming, I run back to our room, and Kai isn’t there.
Where are they? What’s going on? I hear him scream again, and I run down the stairs. Blood is smeared on the walls, and the overwhelming combination of fear and panic sinks into my bones. There’s a body at the foot of the stairs. As I turn to go down the hall, there’s another one as I look for my husband and child.
“Kai!” I scream, taking off down the hall. “Kai!”
“I’m right here, Cordi. Hey, baby, it’s okay. You’re okay. It was just a bad dream.”
My eyes fly open, and a sob builds up in my chest as I process what felt real. It was all a dream.
Kai leans in, so he’s all I see. His eyes are full of concern. “You were calling for me in your sleep,” he says.
I burst into tears, and he gathers me to him. Fear and panic are still tinged with adrenaline, and I feel like I can’t breathe. I gasp for air, and Kai rubs my back.
“Deep breaths, gem. No need to get this baby all riled up. You’re okay. It was just a nightmare. You’re alright.”
I finally stop crying and take a deep breath. “That’s it,” he murmurs. “You’ve been having a lot of nightmares recently.”
“I hate it. I don’t even want to sleep anymore.”
“I understand the feeling,” he mumbles into my hair.
“I’m sorry I woke you up again.”
He holds me tighter. “I wasn’t even asleep, babe. It’s okay.”
“Are we ever going to sleep again?” I ask him.
“I don’t know, but I heard babies never sleep, so maybe we can consider this practice.”
I smile and rest my hand on my stomach. “The one good thing right now.”
“It’s the best thing, gem. He’s the best thing,” he says, and my stomach does a little flip.
“You’re the first best thing to ever happen to me, you know? Especially after my parents divorced.”
