Page 22 of Fighting For Light
“I—“ her voice breaks. “I know you don’t want me, either, but can you stay with me, please? I need my best friend right now.”
My stomach bottoms out, and my heart rips in two. I know emotional anguish, but I have never felt it the way I do right now. Little does she know she iseverythingI want. I walk over to my side and toss the pillow on my bed. I’m playing with fire, yet not a single cell in my body cares.
I crawl in next to her, refusing myself the urge to pull her into my chest and keep her there until she has the baby. I’m a hypocrite for even thinking that maybe the safest place for her is in my arms. Yep, I’m an idiot, and Liam and Emerson would be rolling on the floor right now.
She turns to her other side and wiggles over to me. My body naturally gathers her closer to me, and I sigh into the pillow. “Thank you,” she whispers.
While rubbing her back, the words come out before I can rethink them. “What you said isn’t true, gem. I will do everything in my power to be here for you, no matter what,” I say quietly. She doesn’t respond, but that’s okay. We will figure everything else out tomorrow.
14
Cordelia
Kai is passed out,snoring softly. His leg is thrown over both of mine, and I’m tucked into his body. I could stay here forever, and if my circumstances were even slightly different, I would smile. But they aren’t, and I have to do one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
Dad and I have a good and happy relationship. Now I feel like I’m going to ruin all of it. But this ismy baby.Screw Rafe. I can do this without him. I don’t need him, but I do need my dad. I need his support and hope that he can give it to me.
Kai groans into his pillow and opens his eyes. I expected him to spring out of bed, but instead, he hugs me closer to him. “It’s going to be okay. You need to tell him and then go from there, okay?”
“Okay,” I say into his chest.
“I need to get up, get some food, and do my workout before tonight,” he says.
“And I need to grow a pair of lady balls and go talk to Dad,” I mumble.
“I’ll be there on the sidelines if you need me,” he says, rubbing my back once before rolling over and getting out of bed. I stare at his bare, muscular back as he raises his arms and stretches. He reaches into his closet, grabbing a shirt and shorts. He slips them on, then steps down the stairs.
I stare up at the ceiling, knowing what I have to do. It’s the only way to move forward and start planning ahead. I don’t know if I’m going to tell Dad that Rafe is the father. I don’t think I should, but the other part of me wants to get him kicked off the team. There is no question in my mind Dad might kill Rafe otherwise. I’ll see where it goes. If the opportunity presents itself, I’ll tell him.
Let’s do this. I go down the stairs, and Kai has a cup of coffee sitting on the counter. He turns and looks at me, lifting the mug to his lips. “Coffee?” he asks.
I reach for it and hesitate. “I don’t think I’m supposed to have caffeine.”
“Oh,” he says.
I nod, wringing my hands together. “Yeah, oh. I guess I have to get used to decaf.”
“I’m sorry, that kind of sucks,” he says. The corner of his mouth tips up, and I let out a dry laugh.
“Yeah, I guess it does.”
“Do you want some breakfast?” He looks at me with a caring expression, and I want to hug him again. Maybe he can give me some of his strength. My stomach twists, and the thought of food makes me want to upchuck.
“No, thanks,” I murmur behind my hand.
“You look kind of green.”
I nod and run back up the stairs, landing on my knees before the toilet and heaving into it.
A hand rubs up and down my back. “It’s alright, let it out,” he says softly. My stomach finally stops heaving, and I take a deepbreath. He takes a washcloth and wipes my face. His expression is tight with concern, and my heart melts as he focuses on me. “Good?” he asks. I nod.
“Here, let me help you up.” He grips my elbow and then my side, helping me to my feet.
“Thank you,” I rasp. He nods and looks at me with eyes full of worry. I hate that. “I’m going to go take a shower,” I mutter. He steps to the side and follows me down the steps.
“It’s going to be okay, Cordi,” he says quietly. I look at him over my shoulder. I don’t know if he’s right, but I’m going to choose to believe he’s right at this moment.
I take the three stairs down from his trailer and muster all the confidence I can with each step. I’ll do whatever I need to do for this baby. I already have a plan to get extra jobs and negotiate my rate with our sponsors to make a couple of extra bucks. I don’t know what I’m going to do when he or she comes. Maybe Dad will be okay with a crying baby in less than two hundred square feet of space. If not, I’ll find an apartment or get my own RV.
