Page 25 of Fighting For Light
I jerk back at what he’s saying, which is a lot more than the words that just came out of his mouth. “Okay, we’re going to have to unpack that later, but Kai, we can’t actuallyget married, and I don’t know if it’s a good time for me to start a relationship with my best friend when I’m pregnant with another man’s child.”
He chuckles again and leans back into the counter with a hand on each side. “Well, mama, I am a man of my word, and I told your father I would marry you because that kid is mine. It’s a done deal.” My mouth goes dry. “If you’ll have me, of course.”
“Did you hear a single word I said?” I ask him incredulously.Why is he pushing for this?
“I heard every single word, Cordi, but I love you, and I have for years. That hasn’t changed, and I’m certain it never will. So why not?” He stares at me, waiting for an answer.
Helovesme. My brain shorts out for a moment, and my heart pounds so hard it’s all I can hear until he clears his throat.
“Because it’s crazy? Because it’s reckless?”
Helovesme.
“And?” he asks.
Helovesme!
I puff out a breath, exasperated and confused but strangely… excited? Can I be excited about this insanity? “But you didn’t get down on one knee,” I mutter because what else is there to say? This is definitely not how I thought this would go. I thought we would date for a bit after admitting our feelings to each other.But it feels like he’s doing this out of some odd sense of duty or something, not because he loves me. Unlike my parents, I want him to love me. My baby and I deserve to be loved hard. That much I do know.Can I say yes to this? No…yes?
“Don’t worry. I will, that’s a promise.” He pushes himself off the counter and comes to sit next to me.
“I can see all the questions in your eyes, so let me answer two. First, I mean every word I said: I will spoil you and this kid absolutely rotten. This is not an obligation, and I wouldn’t have said a word if I didn’t think I could. Plus, I get access to my trust when I marry, so you will always be taken care of, and now you don’t have to worry about how you are going to make ends meet. Because I know you were. Second, I do love you, gem, whether you want to believe it or not. We have been best friends for years, so it’s not completely crazy, right?” He rubs my lower lip with his thumb, staring at my mouth. Then he draws his eyes up to mine and smiles. “Okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper. He winks and drops his hand before walking up the steps to his room. I’m overwhelmed, sad, and oddly…happy? Is that the right word?Isthere a word for this?
15
Kai
As far as insanethings go, this is one hundred percent the craziest thing I have ever done. I’m going to marry my best friend and claim the kid as my own. I’m going against every single rule and guideline I have set up for myself to what? Save her? Does she need to be saved? Or did I just expose her to something that will put her and the baby at risk? Can I be a good father? Is it possible for someone like me because of where I came from?
Maybe I should have asked her that, but her dad was mad, and every bone in my body told me to claim her as my own. It always has. For once, my heart did the talking instead of my mind. I’m going to marry my best friend, and it so happens that I love her. The circumstances aren’t that big of a deal to me. I hope she believes me, though.
This is not obligation orfriendship. For years, I had to stand on the sidelines, watch her flirt with other men, and wonder if something would stick. Well, saw my chance. As insane as it sounds, I took it. It’s only ever been her for me. I’ve neverwanted anyone else. I love my best friend, and I will show her every chance I get.
First, I need to go get her a ring. My mind goes to the one I’ve seen on my mom’s finger, and I know it would be perfect for Cordi. It would complement her eyes and look exquisite on her finger. I’ll call Mom after the race tonight. Plus, I need to figure out how I’m going to tell her I’m marrying my best friend after I told her it was never in the cards for me. And this has nothing to do with money, but with access to my trust, I’ll be able to support Cordi and the baby completely and make sure our family is secure. There is a reason they saynever say never. I’m eating my words now.
I jump in the shower, and when I get out, Cordi sits right where I left her. “Gem, are you alright?” She looks okay, but what if it’s the baby?
Her eyes slowly trace up my shirtless body. “I could go live with my mom. She doesn’t know yet…about the baby.”
“Gem…” I sigh.
“Kai, I can’t ask you to do this,” she says, looking at me with teary eyes. “This is not your responsibility. It’s mine. Thank you for offering, but—“
“I mean, youcould,but you can’t sit here and tell me your mom would be okay with this. If I remember correctly, when you left her to stay with your dad, she said she ‘finally got her youth back.’ So what makes you think she willkeep her youthwith a crying baby?“ She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. Crying babies makes me think about when Liam was having a rough time as a kid. I was five, he was four, and Dad hated crying kids.
***
“Esmarie! Shut that boy up! I’m on a conference call!” Daddy yells from his office. I hold the block I was playing with inmy hand and stack it on another. I look up at Emerson, and he’s looking at me with a funny look. It’s something I don’t understand. Daddy isn’t very nice to any of us. I’ve seen him hit Mommy before, and Emerson tried to stop Daddy until he hit Emerson, too.
Mom holds Liam close to her and shushes him. He just screams louder. I think something is wrong with him, but I don’t know what. He kept rubbing at his ears, and Mom gave him some medicine. He doesn’t talk much, so she has to guess a lot. Mommy is pretty good at guessing because she always knows when I’m hungry.
“Emerson, get your brother,” Mommy says. I look at her, and he takes the block from my hand, lifting me up and holding me close. He tucks my head on his shoulder. Emerson is big for his age. That’s what Mommy says. So he can hold me up even though he’s only four years older than me.
“I said shut him up!” Daddy yells, bursting into our playroom. Liam screams, and Mom turns to her side, shielding him.
“He’s sick, Fred. I’m pretty sure he has an ear infection,” she says, bouncing Liam. He storms over to her and grabs her neck. She gasps but holds on to Liam. His crying stops, and he looks at Dad. Mom glances at Liam and somehow sets him on his feet. Liam runs over to me and Emerson. I lean back to look at Emerson, and he looks me in the eyes and nods once. I think that means it’s going to be okay. But it doesn’t feel like it. “If you don’t shut that boy up, I will shut all of you up,” Daddy says.
