Page 36 of Fighting For Light
I laugh. “As much as I wish I could say shower, there is no way two people could fit in there. I was talking about the nap. I’m sure you’re tired.”
“I am. I’m basically always tired, and it has nothing to do with us staying up late. And I keep having this pain in my side, but—“
Terror shoots through my body, and I take two wide steps towards her. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Do I need to take you to the hospital?” I skim my hands over her body.
She smiles, grabbing my hands. “I’m okay, the baby is okay. It’s all normal. It’s muscular, that’s all. The doctor told me to expect to be exhausted for the first trimester and towards the end of it.”
“Oh,” I say, frozen to this spot.
She lifts my hands to her mouth and kisses each of them. “Thank you,” she says.
Heat rushes through my body. “For what?”
Her eyes turn glassy, and I don’t know what I did. I don’t want her to cry. I hate seeing her cry.
“For caring,” she rasps. ”Sorry, I’m…really emotional lately.”
I slip my hands around her wrists, pulling her to stand, and grab her face between my hands. “You never have to apologize for crying, gem. Caring for you is something you never have to thank me for, ever. Okay? I should be thankingyoufor giving me the chance.”
She smiles softly, tilting her cheek into my palm. I lean in, gently pressing our lips together. I haven’t kissed her yet today, and I make a silent vow to myself to make sure I never wake up or go to sleep without feeling her lips on mine. I want to make every second, every breath, mean something with her.
Cordelia’s hands grip the elastic of my shorts while her fingers skim my sweaty skin. “I want you,” she murmurs against my lips.
“I want you, too, gem, but…not right now,” I say, and her expression drops. “Trust me when I say it’s not you, it’s me. I need to keep my head on straight, and we don’t have enough time for me to give you the proper attention you deserve.” She leans her forehead against mine, searching my eyes, and I kiss each of her cheeks. “I want to have endless, uninterrupted hours with you, gem.” Her eyes flare.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask her one more time, needing reassurance.
“Yes,” she says.
“Alright, I’m going to shower.” I drop another kiss on her cheek and strip my sweaty clothes off on the way to my room, tossing them in the hamper.
After my shower, I open the door, and Cordelia is already in bed. I stare at her face, softened in sleep. I love her and get to call her mine, but I can’t help but think this is the calm before the storm. Whatever comes, I will handle it. I will protect her. That gut feeling has risen slowly and surely over the past couple of days. I texted Liam, and he said he didn’t hear any chatter, but I don’t trust it. Something is coming. Only I have even more to lose now, and I refuse to let him take it from me.
***
We narrowly placed in the top four. We needed to be in the top three spots, but Casey got fourth, and it was surprisingly not because he choked. The other rider was simply better. We’re hanging on by a thread with our standing. We had some wiggle room, which saved us from dropping into second in overall standings, but we can’t place like this again. We will drop in standings, and it will piss off a lot of sponsors. Our new teammate better be the caliber of rider that we need him to be.
Cordi snaps a few more pictures of us as we gather at the tent before walking over to me. I pull my helmet off, and she drops a kiss on my sweaty face. I reach up and wipe her lips. She smiles under my thumb and leans in close to my ear. “I don’t mind a little sweat, daredevil. Good ride today.”
I’m going to need a bucket of ice water and a cold shower. This woman, my best friend, has no idea how insane she makes me. One day, I’ll show her.
“Alright, boys. Let’s get some rest tonight before we head out tomorrow,” coach says. We all nod in agreement. Cordelia looks at her father and gives him a small smile, then she walks toward my trailer. They are both mad at each other right now. I can understand both sides of the argument, but she will still be pregnant, angry or not. She needs space from him right now. Part of me wants to tell her to talk to him and try to work things out, but she can be stubborn. Nothing I say is going to convince her to start mending bridges. But I’m sure everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. She and the baby will be safe, and that’s all that matters in the end. I hope her dad sees it that way, too, because Reece has been more of a father to me than my own. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without him.
19
Cordelia
We’re on our wayto Miami. Luckily, we won’t be in the car for long. I wanted to talk to Dad last night, but he wasn’t happy about how the guys placed. It probably wasn’t a good time.Or you’re just using that as an excuse because you’re being a chicken-shit. No, I’m not. Yes, I am.I guess this is pregnancy brain.
We’re quiet for most of the car ride. I’m able to get some work done and take a nap by the time we get there. Luckily, I’m on schedule for my other clients, so I can take a few days to breathe. Maybe even hang out at the beach.
Kai’s phone rings. Instead of answering it over Bluetooth, he lifts it to his ear, and I find that odd. “Hey, Mom,” he says. I glance at him and continue scrolling through my social media. “No, I haven’t either.” He listens for a moment and glances at me. “Yeah. Oh, that’s nice. Thank you, Mom. Yeah, okay, at eight?” he asks. “Alright. I’ll see you then.” He hangs up the phone and puts it in the cup holder between us.
“Mom wants to go to dinner with us when she lands in Miami. Is that okay with you?” My stomach twists. It’s not like I don’tknow Esmarie. She’s a wonderful woman. But I was only ever Kai’s friend.
I cough, clear my throat, and reach for my water. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
He chuckles. “Are you nervous?”
