Page 39 of Fighting For Light
“I could see the look in my son’s eyes the moment you met. You two are silly for waiting for so long.”
I shake my head, chuckling at her. “Mom, come on. There is no way you could have known we would…” I trail off because the way she’s looking at me tells me exactly that.
“Sometimes a mother just knows, and I knew for you two. You had to overcome that fear of letting yourself live beyond your self-imposed cage. Now, Liam? I’m not so sure about your little brother. Emerson, well, maybe someone will come along to pull him out of that cave he’s been living in since—“ I cough into my fist, cutting Mom off. Her expression brightens again, and she turns to Cordelia. I check on her from my peripheral, and I can feel her eyes on me. Her questions shoot at me like darts.
Our waitress comes up to our table, breaking the awkward air, and takes our order. When she walks away, Mom jumps in again, asking Cordelia all kinds of questions about what she’s up to and how her dad is doing. Cordi choked on that last question, but recovered quickly.
“So, when is the wedding?” Mom asks. I shrug and look at Cordelia. She looks at me with wide eyes, begging me to answer. I take her hand back and put it on my thigh. Her fingers twitch on the muscle, and I drop my hand on hers.
“We haven’t decided that yet. We will soon, though.” I cough, taking a drink of water. An idea pops into my head. We haven’t discussed any of this, but I wonder if Cordi would be up forit. “We thought about going to the courthouse, you know? Why wait…we’ve waited this long.” Cordi’s hand squeezes my thigh, and her nails dig into my skin. I don’t push her off, relishing in the pain of her irritation. The problem is, I don’t know if that’s approval or denial.
“Well, no son of mine can just get married in acourthouse. We need to make it an event becoming of a Coldwell man. We will have to have some kind of coming out party for Cordelia to introduce her into society. A large wedding would solve both things, plus the last thing we need is rumors as if we were trying to hide something,“ she says with a fire in her eyes.
She doesn’t like that we had to keep the Coldwell name. If she could have changed them all to Astor, she would have already. It was a calculated move on her part to keep it that way. She didn’t want to give him another reason to find us, especially when we were younger, but more so that it wouldn’t tip off his mob associates that there was some kind of issue. When you work with the mob, it’s not just you, it’s the whole family that is involved. So you and the family are being watched. In some ways, while we were still kids, it was a good thing because we were still sons of the great Congressman Coldwell, and it didn’t give his associates any reason to be concerned about his loyalties or that of the family’s. That’s not the case now.
“Um, I don’t know that I want a big wedding to be honest, Esmarie. I think something small would be better,” Cordi says. I nod in agreement, and Mom smoothly covers her disappointment.
“Well, small isn’t bad either, but will you let me help you plan it, Cordelia?”
Cordi nods, and her hand trembles a little. I look at her, lifting an eyebrow, wondering if she wants to tell Mom she’s pregnant. The longer we wait, the more she will show. I have no problemwith any of it. Nor do I care if she’s nine months pregnant, walking down the aisle to me. I just want her.
Cordi meets my eyes, and I give her a subtle dip of my chin, and she blinks in understanding. Our eyes unlock, and she faces my mother. “We want to keep it small because, um…” she stutters for words. I slide my fingers between hers in silent encouragement. “I’m pregnant, Esmarie,” Cordi says quickly. My heart soars with her words, and I grin at Cordelia, kissing her cheek quickly before looking at Mom’s reaction.
Mom’s expression is a cross between elation and utter, complete fear. Typically, she hides her feelings well; she learned to do that by being married to a man like my father on top of being a Congressman’s wife. But I know her, and I know when something’s wrong. I keep my smile plastered on my face and give Mom a look. She seems to shake the fear from herself and stands to walk around the table, pressing a kiss to Cordi’s cheek and mine. “Congratulations, my darling. That is wonderful news.” She sits back down and takes a sip of her water, waving for the waiter.
The woman approaches us, and Mom says, “A glass of your best Brunello, please.” The waitress nods and heads off. I force my head not to jerk back. Mom rarely drinks, only when she’s…stressed about something. I scrutinize her body language and try not to send a text to my brothers. Something is up.
“I can’t hardly believe I’m going to be a grandma.” She pauses and levels her gaze at me. “I never thought I’d have the opportunity.” Her eyes water for a moment, then it disappears. A waiter returns with her wineglass and the requested bottle. The waiter shows her the bottle, and Mom dips her head, telling the waiter to open it. After he pours a glass, he walks away, leaving the bottle in a little cart next to our table. “And how far along are you?” she asks.
“I’m about three months now,” Cordi says carefully. She glances at me, then back at Mom. My mother, in all her intuition, looks at me carefully.
“Three months ago, Kai was with us,” she says politely, but it holds so much weight.
“Mom,” I clip.
“I understand. But do you understand this is even more reason to have an affair to remember?” she asks breezily. My mother is a smart woman. She knows I wouldn’t have gotten Cordi pregnant because I wouldn’t have crossed the line in order to keep her away from our family drama. In other words, she surmised this kid was not mine. But she seems on edge from something else.
“Yes, Mom, I do.”
Cordi smiles, and I can tell she’s not quite sure what I’m getting at, but I’ll explain later.
Mom takes a deep sip, and the concern only grows. My gut twists, and that foreboding feeling since we caught John grows tenfold. Our food finally arrives, and Mom makes general small talk to fill the space. I can tell Cordi senses that something is up, but I can’t answer what it is because I don’t know.
The ring Mom gave me feels like it’s burning against my thigh the whole evening. I want to give it to Cordi now, but I don’t think she would like the spectacle. That’s not how she is.
“I plan to stay a few more days to watch your freestyle event,” Mom says.
“Oh, that will be nice. We should have brunch after Kai gets his workout in,” Cordelia suggests.
“That would be lovely. I will make reservations for ten tomorrow. Is that okay?”
“Sure, that’s fine, Mom,” I tell her. Over the course of the night, Cordi has scooted herself closer and closer to me. My arm rests on the back of the chair, and she’s leaning into me. I glancedown at her. She’s wide awake, but I can see the exhaustion in her eyes.
Mom glances at her and sighs, waving for the bill. I fish my pocket for my wallet and pull out my black card. The waitress drops by to hand me the check, and I hand her the metal card.
“Well, you two lovebirds, it’s time for me to get some rest. I’ve been traveling all day,” she says, making excuses so Cordelia won’t feel bad for being tired. I thoroughly doubt Mom’s tired, seeing as she’s generally energetic.
If I asked Cordi to stay out with me, she would, but the pregnancy has been exhausting for her. I know she wants to sleep.
