Page 61 of Fighting For Light
“Tueri, defendere, amare? Is that what you’re asking about?“ She nods. “It’s from our family crest, which is arguably laughable but true. It’s Latin, it means protect, defend, love.”
“I don’t think it’s laughable at all. It’s you, Liam, and Emerson. That’s exactly who you are. That’s all you three have ever done for your mom, each other, and now us,” she says, putting her hands on her belly. I stare at her hand on her stomach, and the elevator finally dings. We step into the thankfully empty elevator, and I hit the button for the fourth penthouse. Then, I swipe my card for it to let us in. The doors close, and my eyes drag over to Cordelia.
“Do you think so?” I ask her. My heart thunders in my chest like a pack of wild horses. She licks her lips. The anticipation grows thick between us, and it’s all I can do not to throw her up against the metal wall. Regardless, that’s not how this can work right now, not with the baby.
“You’ve always done that for me, even when we were kids and I was around during the summers. If I fell, you were there, if I needed defending, you were there, and if I…” she pauses and swallows thickly, looking up into my eyes. “If I needed to be loved, you were there.” She blinks, and her eyes water again. “I love you,” she whispers.
The elevator dings, and we step out and walk the five feet to our door. I open the door, tug her in, slam it closed, and flip the lock. She grips my forearms, and I push her up against the wall.
“I will always love you. Ineedto love you.“ I tell her and slam my lips on hers. She whimpers into my mouth and drags her hands up my arms to my neck, her nails finger the shorter hair at the back of my head. Without parting, I lift her up, and she locks her ankles at my spine. Though the baby bump is there, it doesn’t keep me from claiming every bit of her.
I carry her to our room and gently lay her on the bed before crawling over her body on all fours, continuing to trail kisses down her neck to where her dress dips. The baby has made her breasts bigger, and it’s all I can do not to bite into them like a juicy strawberry. Cordelia grips my hair, pulling me back up toher lips. We explore each other like it’s the first time our lips have met. I knew the first time we kissed, it would never be enough, and the fact that she is my wife now makes me want to roar.
Something snaps in me. She ismine. With gentle but firm hands, I pull her to her feet. She wobbles a bit, and I grin at the slightly dazed look in her eyes as I grab the hem of her dress and pull it up over her body. “Kai, I don’t…this is not what I…”
I toss the dress to the floor and kick off my shoes and socks. “What’s wrong? We can stop, just say the word.”
29
Cordelia
My stomach is flippingand twisting like a synchronized swimming performance. Butterflies swarm from my head to my toes. I didn’t know that was a thing until right now. Love is one of the most beautiful, overwhelming things I have ever experienced, and with Kai, all I want is moreendlessly.
My strapless bra is hanging on for dear life. The only thing that might be remotely sexy is the white thong I have on, and it’s incredibly uncomfortable. A confusing combination of embarrassment and need swirls around me, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to stop, but I’m pregnant. My boobs are sore, and it’s our wedding night. Tears burst from my eyes before I can stop them.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he says, grasping my face between his large hands. I shake my head in his hold, and his eyes are full of only concern for me.
“This is not how I wanted this to be. I feel like a whale, and I don’t think this is how I’m supposed to feel on my wedding night and…” My lip wobbles, and Kai wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
“Baby, it’s however we want it to be. I don’t expect anything, and neither should you. I want you to be comfortable.”
“I love you,” I whisper. He kisses me again so gently it calms and centers me. I lean into the kiss, but he pulls back.
“Tell me what you want, Cordelia,” he says, searching my eyes.
“I want you, and I know you said you want me. I believe you, but…” I trail off again because I don’t have the words to explain how I’m feeling. I was confident in my body before I was pregnant. I’m happy to have this baby and excited about it, but it feels like things are changing so much, and I never had a say in it…well, Idid, but that’s a moot point. I wanted to feel confident and share this moment with him fully present, but I keep hesitating, afraid it won’t be what I’ve made it up to be in my head for so long.
“Cordelia Coldwell, mywife,“ he says, emphasizing the word wife. I almost melt on the floor with the title. I think I’ll always feel this way. “I love you, I love your body, and I love this child growing in it. You have nothing to worry about from me, baby. I want you now just as much as I wanted you then, I promise.”
“Okay,” I rasp. His thumb drags across my lips and pulls down on the lower one. I lean forward into him, and he drops his hands from my face, wrapping me up in his arms. I have to tilt my head all the way back because of his height. I want his skin on mine. While our tongues dance with love, I flip the buttons on his shirt, popping one at a time.
It’s a slow build from what I felt before, but it feels right. We should take our time. I get to the last button and help him out of his shirt. His hands trail down my back and flip off my bra, and I wince.
Kai pulls back immediately. “Gem?” he asks with the question in his eyes.
I lean forward and kiss him. “They’re just sore, it’s okay,” I say between brushing my lips across his.
“Okay,” he murmurs and sweeps his mouth across mine. Our bodies press together, and I whimper with the contact because it feels so good as his warmth and strength seep into me. He grabs the back of my head, tilting it all the way back, and peppers kisses down my neck onto my shoulder.
I reach down to the button on his pants and unzip them. He pulls back from me briefly, pushing them down his hips with his underwear. My whole body trembles with anticipation.
“Eyes up here, gem,” he says with a lilt to his voice. One hand goes to my lower back, and the other cups my cheek. He walks us backward to the bed as he steals my breath, making me nearly dizzy with need. The backs of my knees hit the end of the bed, and he holds me steady, lowering me to sit. He remains standing, and my mouth waters at the sight of him. I reach for him, and he shakes his head, dropping to his knees. “I wanted to do this the other night, but we didn’t get around to it.”
“Oh,” I say, my voice trembling.
He chuckles darkly, and his eyes light a fire in me. “Yeah,oh.”
I trace the lines of his beautiful, handsome face and lean forward to kiss him, gently nipping his tongue, and he bites me back. I moan, and he grunts with the slight sting of pain. Our gentle, slow pace picks up, and I feel his fingers at my hip, pulling at the elastic until it snaps like a rubber band. I gasp with the sting, and he rubs it before moving his hands to my knees and spreading them.
