Page 126 of Fighting With Light
46
Liam
The water is thankfullyperfect today. I’ve been catching waves left and right. It feels good to be out here again. When I don’t climb or surf for even forty-eight hours, it bothers me.
If I don’t, it’s like a constant state of wondering if I’m forgetting something. The rocks help me center my God-given purpose and the water calms me. I’m focused, and I’m ready for the competition tomorrow. I was a little worried about my arm and the stitches. They are certainly pulling, and it obviously burns, but I can work through it. I’ve been in much worse situations and still had to compete the next day. It’s amazing how much pain the body can work through if it has to.
I’m sitting on my board, enjoying the sun and the careful sway of the ocean, thinking about last night. Aelia is on the beach tanning, and she wore the red swimsuit. Luckily, there’s no one else out here, so I don’t have to gouge out eyeballs.
We changed last night, both of us. I was more vulnerable with her than I’ve ever been with anyone. She makes me feel safe enough to do that and I love that she feels the same way about me. It’s a welcome feeling knowing that she trusts me. She wants to be with me. The thought of belonging to her makes me believe everything else will work itself out.
For too long I have teetered back and forth between the dark and the light. The choices my brothers and I have had to make over the years to keep each other safe are not ones that I am proud of, but they had to be done. With Aelia, I don’t have to hide that dark part of myself that’s sort of okay with the deeply gray. They are justified in my mind, and I don’t feel all that guilty for any of it. It’s hardto feel sorry for someone who uses and abuses women and children or trafficks them to other sick, depraved humans to do who knows what. That’s just evil, and I’m just getting rid of it sooner rather than later. Aelia isn’t bothered by the gray. She doesn’t mind the blood, and that alone proves to me she is the one.
***
It’s the day of the finals. This is my year. Last year I lost by a few points, it was so thin. But a loss is a loss. It won’t happen again because I won’t let it.
Five of us are left to compete. There will be a series of three matches and then the last one standing against the number one seed with the best of three heats will win the title. Since I’m sitting number two in standings, I have to go through one additional match to get to the title heat. The fourth and fifth seeds will go in the first match, depending on what happens. They will go against the third seed, and then finally to me. After I win my heat, I’ll be facing the number one seed for the title.
I’m confident, but nervous. I know I have to channel it. I practiced my floater because I dropped the ball on it in El Salvador, and lost a few points in the way I maneuvered the waves towards the end. Today, the plan is to wow the judges.
Aelia listened to me for once and went with one of her floral swimsuits with tiny flowers that look good on her caramel colored skin that’s only been deepened by all the sun. “I want to ask you how you’re feeling, but I’m not sure if I should,” she says.
We’re on our way to the beach right now and I’m buzzing with energy. I reach for her hand and bring it to my mouth, kissing her knuckles. “I’m ready, baby, I can feel it.”
Keeping her hand in mine, I glance at her before putting my eyes back on the road. It’s early this morning and the surf from the rental house looked good. I’m hoping it’s the same where the competition is at. I don’t know how I’m going to handle things if I have a Portugal repeat. That threw me off, hence the reason I’m sitting number two overall.
“Good, I think you are, too,” she says, smiling.
The beach isn’t that far, so it takes twenty minutes to get there. My focus needs to remain on the waves, and what I have to do mentally to beat my competitors. Usually, compartmentalizing is simple for me, but I keep thinking about the case against our fathers. When I look at Aelia and think about the things we’ve said, I know we will never be able to keep what we have until both of them are put away for good.
I pull into a parking spot and take a deep breath pushing my sunglasses up to rest on my head. “Hey, you’ve got this,” she says. “I’m so proud of you.” Aelia cups my cheek, trying to get me to look at her. “It’s just you and the waves, baby.”
Leaning over, I capture her mouth with mine. She sighs into the kiss and I draw strength from her. If she’s good, I’m good.
“Plus, if you win, there’s a little something in it for you,” Aelia says.
I wiggle my eyebrows wondering what’s up her sleeve. “What kind of little something?” I ask her.
She taps her lips with her finger like she’s thinking about it. “Hmm, I think it will be a surprise, but I can promise you’re going to like it,” she says.
“Does it involve you and our bed? Because yes, I will love it, princess,” I tell her, grabbing her chin.
She drops a kiss on my mouth.
“I guess you better go out there and win to find out then, shouldn’t you?” she says with an eyebrow lifted.
I press my lips to hers again. “Now you’re just being cruel. What if I lose?”
She gasps, pressing her hand to her chest. “Now that’s just crazy talk and self-defeating. You’re going to go out there and win and then you’ll get your prize.” She wiggles her shoulders and smiles at me.
Staring at her for a moment, my heart thuds a little harder and my stomach flips. “I have the best prize of all, princess. I’ve already won.”
“You’re right, you have, but you need to win this one, too. Quit stalling, let’s go,” she commands.
“Yes, ma’am,” I say and push out of the Rover. Aelia grabs her beach bag and I throw mine over my shoulder while I hold the board with my other hand. The crowd here is much bigger, partly because it’s the finals and also because Lower Trestles, San Clemente is famous for its surfing and the history behind the sport. It also means there are more eyes on us.
We reach the sand and I have to go one way and she has to go the other. I hold on to her hand tightly, nervous about the crowds of people, not knowing who is here, who wedon’t see.
