Page 53 of Fighting With Light
“Fine, but I won’t be able to keep Emerson at bay much longer. We need to find something fast.”
She sits up straighter in her chair. I roll the tape back thirty minutes and we watch it double the speed.
We sit there for hours and hours and nothing changes other than the guy standing guard. A few trucks get checked in, but I cross-checked their tags as they came in and it wasn’t anything important and unrelated to Ferreira’s business. Although that would be smart, it would also be a lot of trouble to get his shipments out. So I doubt they are anything to be concerned with.
“Do you need to get some sleep?” Aelia asks. I nod, trying to see if there are any other connections to the containers that were checked in.
“Did you eat?”
“Not yet. The chef should be here any minute, though,” I tell her. The doorbell rings and I go to answer it. I have a gun in my waistband now and the familiar weight feels good on my back. I haven’t given the other to Aelia yet, but I probably should.
After dinner, I head for the shower so I can get to sleep at a decent hour and feel a little more prepared for tomorrow. “Hey, Liam?” Aelia calls.
I spin on my heel and she’s standing a few steps away down the hall. “Yeah?”
“Can I…can we sleep together again? I know you have a competition tomorrow, so I won’t bother you, but…”
“Yeah, princess, I’ll keep you safe from the boogie man,” I tell her. I cough, trying to clear my throat.
She rolls her eyes. “Okay, I’ll be there in a minute. I’m going to go get ready for bed.”
***
I poke my head out of the bathroom to see if Aelia is already there, but the bed is still made up. After I finish brushing my teeth, I find Aelia sitting on her side of the bed in that nightie I couldn’t see last night. I’m suddenly very thankful for electricity.
The dim, yellow light casts a shadow over half of her, but I can still see every little detail of what the minx is wearing. Her tanned legs cross together and the lacy V of the top of the dress creates a soft contrast with the white bed linens. “How is a man supposed to sleep when you look like a present meant to be unwrapped?”
Her face splits into a wide smile and she lifts a shoulder. “Maybe Iamyour present.”
I groan and go to my side of the bed, pulling the bedding back. Aelia wiggles herself under the covers at an arm’s length away. I lean up and flip off the light, plunging us into darkness. We lay there for a moment, and because I’ve felt this pull to her since I saw her in Hawaii, I reach over, grabbing her waist, tugging her into me. She giggles and makes herself comfortable.
I’ve begun to like this part of whatever we are, friends with benefits, or maybe frenemies with benefits. Whatever it is, I enjoy waking up with someone next to me. Regardless of the circumstances and the fact this isn’t home. It’s nice to come home to someone waiting for me. It makes me feel good and nervous at the same time. It’s part of the reason I haven’t pushed for more with her, even though I know we both want it. For the first time, I am scared of theconsequences. I’m afraid that it will create an unbreakable bond that was never meant to be a bond in the first place.
My brothers wouldn’t be okay with her. I don’t hold the sins of her father against her, but there is no way we could have a legitimate future together when this is all said and done. She’s still a mob princess, and I’m still…well, I don’t know entirelywhatI am. Sure I’m a surfer, I’m a rock climber, but those are just things I do, those are things that have shaped me.
I’ve lived my life anticipating what my father could do to my family. I know it messed me up. I know it has created issues for me. One of them being my inability to commit to anyone because I’m afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. So if I bounce from girl to girl, country to country, say hi to my family every once in a while then my dad can’t get to me, and then I’ll never be alone because I’ll leave before they have the chance to.At least that’s what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.
It’s the only control I have in my life, deciding who stays in it. I love my mom and my brothers. I would do anything for them. It’s why I’m in this position now, but Aelia is giving me a glimpse into what life could be like with someone who wants to be with me not because of my name, the money I have, or the fancy dinners, but because she likeswhoI am, the man I have become despite every single reason for me to have turned out worse.
She hasn’t shied away from me once, even when I had her tied up. Until then, she had no clue who she was kissing and going out to dinner with. Yet she hardly blinked an eye. I don’t know if that means she’s worse than I am or maybe…we’ve found a kinship between us because of it.
I’m notnormal, but I’ve always wondered what normal was because I’ve never experienced it and neither has Aelia. I look down at her on my chest. Her eyes are closed and I lean in to kiss the top of her head. She leans back and opens her eyes. Her gaze sweeps over my face, and she presses her lips to mine as she slides her hand behind my neck. The scrape of her long nails sends a shiver down my spine and I clasp her cheek with my palm.
She opens her mouth to me as we explore each other. Her hand pulls me in tighter and her nails dig a little deeper, making me groan. Aelia throws herleg over my hips, pressing her silky front as tightly as she can to me, and sighs. Neither of us duel for dominance. It’s equal, it’s giving and taking. I pull away, nibbling on her lower lip, and she inhales sharply before leaning in to press her lips to mine again.
Dropping my hand from her face, I wrap her in my arms. Her warmth against me feels grounding, steady, calm. We lean back at the same time and I look into her eyes. “Why does it feel this way to you?” I ask her.
Her tongue dips out over her puffy lip and she blinks a few times, like she can’t process my question. “I don’t know, but I’ve been asking myself that question since Bali.”
I brush my lips across hers and smile. “I like that you’ve been trying to figure it out. Is that weird?”
“No because I’m glad you feel like this with me. I’ve never…this is so much slower, it’s…I like it.”
“Me too,” I murmur against her lips. We fall asleep like that, wrapped up in each other because there is an unspoken agreement to take full advantage of the time we have in this temporary arrangement, despite knowing we would hurt each other. But the thought of walking away from her right now and going back to our separate lives hurts, even if it’s what’s best.
But, we are not our fathers, so does that mean the divide between us doesn’t apply, either?
***
