Page 176 of A Curse On Black Lake
My heart thuds in my chest as I get to the front door and turn the key in the lock. I’m aware there is no reason for me to be nervous entering my own home. But I feel guilty for feeling like it’s not my own anymore. It was Grams’s, I simply lived here. Yes, it was all willed to me. Regardless, Killian’s house feels more like home, and I don’t know what to do with that. I wonder how Gram’s would respond? This house has been in our family for generations, and I’ve failed all my ancestors if I can’t figure this out.
You have not failed, flower.
My stomach rolls, and I bend over, hands on knees. My lungs are seizing, and I can’t breathe.
“Eliana?” Killian says my name, but I swear that was my Gram’s voice, but that’s not how this works. I don’t know who the Spirits are, but I know they aren’t my dead relatives.
I inhale staggered, deep breaths.
It was not your grandmother, child. It was a reminder that you have not failed her or your family.
“Then what am I supposed to do!” I yell out loud.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Killian asks, rubbing my back.
“I thought … I heard Grams,” I whisper.
He’s silent for a beat. “Did you?” he asks.
I shake my head, trying to breathe through it. It hurts, I want to puke, and I’m so frustrated I could scream.
“This is the only stock I have, and my garden is a mess. How can I come back from this?” I ask him and look back at my feet.
He pulls me to stand and takes my hand, kissing my knuckles. “You’re not alone in this, Eliana. I’m here to help you. You’ve been figuring things out well before we met, and so have I. So it’s fair to assume that we can put our heads together and lay out a plan.”
I nod and take a deep breath. My lungs finally open up, and I’m able to walk without bowling over in psychological pain.
“Let me get the store opened up, and if I’m lucky, get ten customers.”
Killian frowns, we know this town. We know the people in it, and we especially know how they see both of us. No one is going to come, but you can’t blame a girl for trying.
I dust the shelves and straighten anything the police might have touched. I clean the countertop by the register and drain one of the tonics. After I get that bottled, I put it in the cabinet so the sun doesn’t get to it.
“Come on, let’s go look at the garden,” Killian says.
We go out the back door, and my heart breaks all over again. My beautiful roses are destroyed. Some of my herbs were pulled so far out of the ground, despite their deep roots, that the plants are half-dead, yet still determined to stay alive. The Texas heathasn’t done anything to help either. It has fried what would normally be able to withstand the temperatures.
“It looks like we can replant some of this, but it’s going to need a lot of water. What do you think about the rest?” Killian asks me.
“It doesn’t look salvageable,” I mutter.
“Well, we can plant new. And you know I’ve been thinking…” Killian trails off and I wait for him to continue.
“Since you need to be able to produce more in a faster time, that means you need more plants, and well, my offer still stands. You can use my land to grow what you want. And I know last time, you had no interest in staying with me, let alonebeingwith me, but everything has changed now. Right? So maybe your answer has too.”
My heart melts out of my chest into a puddle on the floor. My tongue burns with the need to tell him how I love him, which would be better than ‘I need you’, even if it is the best I can do.
I love him more than any plants I grow, or sketches I draw. I love him beyond the sunny, grey-tinged sky, and the stars in the sky. I love him more than the fate of our intertwined destinies.
My love for him will go beyond the grave, and when this is all over, I hope he knows that. I hope he carries it with him. And I hope he’s happy again.
So I tell him what I so desperately wish I could finish with him. “I would love that.”
He grins widely, like he solved the whole problem. “I can build you a greenhouse too. I know you’ll obviously come back here quite a bit, but if you can scale up, maybe you can sell to other towns.”
“I think that’s a great idea. I don’t know who to call for that though,” I tell him.
He lifts his hat off his head and scratches it. “Maybe we can make a day of it, I’ll take you to a few towns, and you can bring samples or somethin’,” he says.
