Page 126 of A Curse On Black Lake
Thedoorslams,andthe sound echoes throughout the house. A minute later, I hear my truck crunching the gravel beneath it.
Good. I earned it.
She deserves better.
I’m not the man I thought I was. I’m not even surewhoI am anymore. Is my whole life a lie? Why did my parents call me their own? Did they know my birth mother? Questions fly through my mind, and I won’t get answers from them, but the circumstances still beg the questions.
My parents clearly had no intention of telling me I was adopted. I’ve been through all the legal paperwork regarding both of my parents. There is no record of adoption of any kind. Which means they either destroyed the documents, or they didn’t go through legal channels. It also amazes me they were willing to take the risk that I would never find out. But then again, maybe they didn’t know that my birth would be recorded in the town records, and I would go looking.
The amount of dust on those back shelves in the library tells me the books were hardly touched, so this isn’t a bad joke. There is no reason for anyone to lie about it. It’s reality, and yet again, I can’t cope.
Eliana tried to be there. I know she did. Only I pushed her away because I don’t want her to see the aftermath.
But as of now, I’m more angry at myself for pushing the woman I’m growing to care for away, and entirely numb to the fact I was lied to my whole life.
Then again, I’m not so sure it matters anymore. Gideon and Robin Lennox were the only parents I’ve ever known, and it’s not like I can talk to my birth mother. She’s dead, and I only have more ghosts to follow me around.
Lying back in bed, I stare at the ceiling with an empty mind and a churning heart.
I shouldn’t have said what I did to her. She finally opened up to me. We were in a good place, and I messed it up. I always ruin things.
Sometimes it feels like yesterday when Dad died. I became my own worst enemy.
I barely survivedmyself.
In the back of my mind, I knew I needed some kind of change, but I wasn’t willing to put in the effort. Then Eliana came into my life.
She is the spark to jumpstart my heart. She is the reason for the feelings I haven’t felt for a long time because I was scared of what it meant for me, forus. Yet, I want to give her everything. I want to do the work, to put in the effort.Proveto her that what I feel between us is real and tangible. I want to give her everything because I simply want her to have it.
I glance at my watch, and it’s been two hours since she left. If I was a better man, I would have hugged her and refused to let go.Let her ground me like she has the ability to do. My arms ache … as if they miss her.
I want her.
I need her.
Picking up my landline, I start to call her, but that feels wrong. Plus, I’m not even sure she’ll answer, maybe because she didn’t even pay the bill. I wouldn’t put it past her.
Another hour goes by, and she’s still not back. Not that I’m surprised. She shouldn’t come back. But I don’t want her alone. Despite my messy family tree, there’s still a man out there who I know, deep in my gut, wants bad things for her, and I can’t let that happen.
Plus, I want to talk to her. I miss her sassy mouth. I need to apologize more than anything. So, I get my sorry ass up and go down to the barn to get a horse. I just hope she answers the door.
Trotting to the back of Eliana’s property, I go towards the barn, past my parked truck. When I round the corner of the house, my heart stops, and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end.
Eliana is sitting at the end of the row of mint, sobbing into her hands.
Did she do this? Am I the cause of this?
I hop off Daisy and run to her curled up on the ground.
Right as I touch her, she startles and scrambles away from me. I drop a knee, reaching for her, and she swipes at her face. Her eyes are swollen. She’s been crying for a while.
“What happened?” I ask her.
“I don’t know,” she rasps.
I reach for her again, and she stares at my hand, unwilling to take it.
“Why are you here?” she asks.
