Page 155 of A Curse On Black Lake
Knowing what I know now, I can’t discount anything.
What if she’s paralyzed, and she has no way of telling me? Her heart may be beating, but is she there?
“Eliana,” I say again, and shake her shoulder.
Nothing.
I kiss her cool lips.
Still nothing.
“Come on, baby, please,” I beg, pulling her into my lap.
She’s like a rag doll, limp in my arms, completely unaware of what’s going on around her.
“I can’t lose you, I can’t lose you, you found me again. I was lost, Eliana, until you found me floating out to sea. Don’t leave me,” I whisper, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“Please don’t leave me too.”
She lays there in my arms, her blue eyes still open, with a glassy look to them, like they do when she’s listening to the Spirits, but how do I know this is them? How do I know they are responsible?
I don’t, and it’s ripping me apart inside. I can’t do anything to help heragain.And I feel completely useless. The last time I felt this was watching my father take his final breaths. There was nothing to say. There was nothing I could do. But that can’t be the case here. I won’t let it. I can’t.
Afraid to move her, and nervous about the predators out here, I decide to take her home. I inspected every inch of her exposed body. No cuts, bruises, scrapes, or visible breaks. I gently close her eyes and lift her into a fireman’s carry. I use all my strength lifting her limp weight onto Daisy. She shifts unhappy about it, but takes it nonetheless.
I don’t know how I do it. Maybe it’s survival mode, but I’m able to get her off from around my shoulders to my front so she’s sitting across my lap with her head resting on my shoulder.
Urging Daisy on, I hold on to Eliana with one hand and handle the reins with the other as we make our way out of the woods.
We go all the way up to the house. I figure out how to wiggle myself off of the horse and not drop Eliana. She’s still unresponsive, and I want to scream, but I need to keep my head.
Daisy won’t go anywhere, so I leave her next to the porch and carry Eliana into the house. Placing her carefully on the cushions, I slip back outside and I take the saddle and bridle off of Daisy.
Setting it on the porch, I go back inside. Indecision wars within me, unsure if I should get her in the truck and take her to the clinic, maybe the hospital? But I’m not so sure the hospital can help her. I have a feeling the only one who would know what to do is her Grams.
My lungs clench with lack of oxygen, and I know I won’t breathe right until she comes back to me. I scrutinize her face, hoping for a blink, a sigh,anythingto tell me she’s in there. But I get nothing. It’s as if she’s Sleeping Beauty, only I’m not the prince to wake her up.
Useless, I am utterly and completely useless. I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know anyone I can ask. Blinking away burning tears, I sit on the sofa and pull Eliana in my arms, focusing on the rise and fall of her chest and begging God.
“I’ll get over my issues and go every Sunday. I’ll be a better man for You, for her, for anyone I come into contact with. I’m begging You, don’t let her leave me. It’s not time. We’re getting to know each other. We have a life to live. I haven’t … I haven’t told her how I really feel, and I’m begging You to give me the chance to do that,” I say and push her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.
For hours, I hold her in my arms. The sun begins to come up, and she’s still unmoving, but her heart still beats strongly under my hand. I stare at this woman I’ve begun to fall so deeply in love with, and can’t comprehend the possibility that I’d have to live without her because I forgot what life was like when she wasn’t in it. That’s all past. She is my future.
“Come back to me, come back to me,” I whisper to her.
“Please,” I whisper.
I keep whispering, begging, anything to get her to respond. I drag my hands through her hair over and over, and press small kisses on her cheeks and forehead. Maybe my touch can wake her up. I’d do anything to bring her back to the land of the living. She’s all that matters to me.
Then she blinks, her eyes clear, and she gasps as if her breath was stolen.
“Thank God,” I mutter, choking on tears. I hug her to me, and she shifts in my arms stiffly.
It takes her a second, but her body relaxes, and she bursts into tears. “I just want to be free. I want to be free!”
Chapter forty-nine
Eliana
