Page 31 of Dirty Roulette
She puts one leg into my basketball shorts and then the other. Monday is stitched in the front of her panties and my inner thoughts slip off my tongue, “Those are cuter than the ones I have.” I point a finger. Her mom must have bought her those at Walmart because she’d never let Payton step foot in a lingerie store.
“Yesterday, it said Sunday.”
“What a shame. The ones I have don’t say Friday.”
“Yeah...”
“Are youreallya virgin?”
“I think the underwear speaks for itself.” She ties the black strings into a bow to tighten the shorts. They are about three times too big for her.
“That can’t be true.” I pause and run my hands across my face. “You're gorgeous.”
“Well, I’m not really into dating.” Her right leg taps against the tile a mile a minute. “I have to make a sex video with you, don’t I?”
Yes. There isn’t a way around this unless she drops out of Cheer Phi. Even then, there is no guarantee she’ll find freedom. If she doesn’t want her pictures and the video he took online, then her only choice is to make a sex tape. “I don’t wanna force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“It doesn’t matter what I’m comfortable with. I lose my virginity to you, then what? He threatens to post that video unless I sleep with him. It’s going to be an endless game. Don’t you see how screwed up this is?” She slumps back down to the bench littered with soiled towels reeking of sweat. Her nails dig at the edges of the wood, and her mind must be spinning.
“Do you want to go out with me?” I ask.
“Like that’s going to fix it. You’re gonna pretend to be my boyfriend?”
“That’s not...” She’s quick to cut me off.
“How do I know you’re not just like all the other guys wanting to use me? You were real quick to tell Brody I’m yours!”
I lick my lips. That didn’t come out right. I run a hand on the back of my neck. “Look I...”
“I don’t have a choice, do I? When do I ever get a choice?”
“You do have a choice...” I kneel to the moldy tile floor and grasp her hands. With a thumb, I rub her bony fingers, staring at the bruises forming on her knuckles. They’re swollen, and pink. A thin layer of skin peels back and I can feel the throbbing pain in my chest. “I get it, you don’t want to sleep with me. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want.” I tilt my head to meet her big blue eyes. She flashes me a toothless smile.
Placing a hand on a knee, I stand up. and I pull her off the bench. Her fingers cling to the tips of mine, our arms swinging side to side.My back meets the cold metal of the lockers. “Come here,” I say and spread my legs wide enough to wedge her between them.
“I didn’t say I don’t want to... I don’t want to be labeled as someone who’s a...” She sucks her bottom lip as she huffs.
“So, you do want to sleep with me?” My cheeks hurt from the smile forming. She does a flutter eye roll, then shoves two hands into my chest, and the lockers rattle as my back meets them. When she takes two steps back, I take her hand. “No, no wait!” She tilts her head, swirling around, and stomps back to me.
“Do you really think I’m pretty?” She bats her eyelashes several times, studying me like a book.
I grasp her hips pulling her a few inches closer.
“Very... I’ve always thought you were pretty. The messy braid, the smeared makeup, it’s a good look on you.”
She scoffs. “Can we not tell Charlie about this?” She balls up my shirt with a fist.
“Seriously, you want to keep this from her?” Payton’s quiet, and it’s just the dull dripping of leaky showers in the distance.
But, I get it. Charlie can be overly protective of Payton, but it’s me, out of all the guys in the world. I tilt my head to one side. “Which part? Beating the crap out of Brody, or you spinning that bottle and landing on me?”
“The whole thing.” She plops her forehead to my chest.
“Why do you care about what Charlie thinks?” I shrug. “Tell her the truth.”
“She’s my best friend andwantingher big brother isn’t something I think will sit right with her. I don’t know how I feel about... you, or... never mind... I need to tell her myself.”
“How do you feel about me?” I ask.
