Page 70 of Dirty Roulette
What the hell is wrong with the women in my life tonight? We win the game, and once they start drinking, they start vomiting emotions all over the place. No one is capable of having a good time. If there were going to be problems tonight, I would have buried myself six feet under the ground to hide from them.
“Answer me! Did you two hook up?”
“Yes, we’ve been seeing each other.”
She hammers her fists into my chest, and starts smacking me in every direction.“I can’t believe you!”
“You’re not the dictator of my life. I like her a lot,” I grab her wrist to get her to stop acting out. There is no easy way to lay it into her. I want to date another girl, and I don’t need her permission to do so.
“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, and I hold my hands up in the air. Looking into her eyes is like staring at the sun for too long. They are blinding when she’s fuming. “You always told me you were never into her! She was just the weird friend your sister hung out with. I knew it, you were lying to me the entire time.”
“We’re done.” I take a swig of my beer and place it on the counter. “Can’t you grasp that?” I comb both hands in my hair. People are scoffing with eyes in our direction. She’s causing a full blown scene.
“Sleeping with Brody was a mistake. I wish you’d forgive me.” She flutters her lashes a million times until those fake crocodile tears appear. The words hurt more than razor blades raining over my skin. I wish there was a way to bury our history deep, drop it in the ocean, and wash myself clean of her.
Shaking my head, I mutter, “You accused me of cheating, then you actually go and cheat on me.”
Her jaw drops, and she rolls her eyes. “She’s been trying to steal you from me since the very beginning.”
“Do you even listen to yourself? I grew up with her, we were always going to be close to each other because of Charlie. By the way, I talked to Brody. You both did it out of spite.”
“I’m not lying!” She racks her cherry red nails into the blonde locks I used to adore more than anything. Then it hits my heart again, and I’m cementing bricks together to barricade any feelings I have behindit. “You always gaslight me into believing I’m the fucked up one,” she says with lips trembling.
“Igaslightyou? I’m not saying I was perfect in our relationship, but I never cheated on you with Payton.”
She scoffs, shaking her head. Her eyes dart across the kitchen. “But now you’re with her?”
I swallow the lump in my throat, wanting to punch a wall. I tilt my head, shrugging as I look her dead in the eyes as I say, “I didn’t plan on falling for her but I have, and I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.” I dip my hands into my jeans. There is nothing else to say to her.
“Three years I’ve loved you. That night was the first time I did anything with someone else. We weren’t together anymore,” She argues, biting her lip.
“I didn’t get the memo we ended things. I didn’t give you a hall-pass either. You just freaked out and left the second you found me watching a movie with them, and Payton fell asleep on the bed. You are ridiculous to be dragging this on. I didn’t cheat on you.”
“I want you back...please...You said you would think about it.”
“You’re sleeping with other guys during Roulette. I’m not going to fix things with you if you’re gonna sleep around.” My throat burns. Going back to her won’t change the fact she slept with Brody. “I loved you more than anything, but I can’t do this with you. It’s over.”
“You gotta believe me. I love you.” She says.
“I dunno what to believe with you.” It’s like a landmine detonated in my chest. I spent my summer hungover and drunk because of how shitty she made me feel. “I’m done doing this with you. You’re always blowing up my phone. You won’t stop touching me. I ended it because I had enough. I had enough of you breaking my heart every second you got. I’m done. Leave me alone.”
Brittni dragged me through a bloody battlefield with all my insides impaled. I’m defeated again, and I can’t sit here and pretend we will ever work.
“And you move on so quickly with that trash. She’s not even pretty.”
“Her name is Payton, and she’s gorgeous.”
“Fine! I don’t care if you film that damn video with her. I’ll make sure she’s out of Phi by the end of the semester.”
Chapter twenty-four
Payton
Isneak out of the bathroom and weasel my way around the massive crowd. Music vibrates the walls, and everyone is sipping their drink in red plastic cups. I make a beeline to the kitchen and spot Ryder and Brittni standing barely three feet apart.
His brows are furrowed, and his head is tilted to one side. Those grey eyes are caring and sad as they talk to one another. I see him shrug, with the pain lodged all over his body. The way he looks at her... Not justather, but the way he’sreally lookingcauses my hands to shake and clasp with fear. His feelings are written on his face. Ryder doesn’t look at me like that. There is something still there he isn’t fully letting go of.
At least that’s how I’m taking it. I deserve it. I’m the one not wanting to fess up to whatever it is that we have. Ryder meets my line of view, and his eyes widen as he straightens his posture. I shake my head biting hard on my bottom lip as I make a break for it and now I’m definitelysobbing. I push through the massive sea of people flooding the house. It turned into a random mob, and I didn’t recognize anyone.
