Page 80 of Dirty Roulette
I’m hating myself even more for claiming her during Roulette. No wonder she’s insecure and thinks I’m hung up on Brittni. She wasn’t given a choice, and I’m just as bad as all the other dudes ripping her apart trying to take something from her she hasn’t thought about losing. No matter what happens, I know I will always protect her, but maybe it’s about time I let her go to make her choice.
When the orange sun breaks through my curtains, I admire Payton long enough that she wakes up with my eyes boring into her. I’ve been up close to her too many times to count, but never took a moment to admire her indigo irises molding into carnations. I’ve been staring at her for almost a full hour, and now that she’s awake, blinking, and we’re looking at each other without saying a single word – I know I can never leave her.
Payton turns my heart from a solid to a liquid. A warm, gooey pile of mush in my chest. She scoots closer. Tiny fingers curl around the crease of my neck. The little button nose of her’s nuzzles mine, her breath on my lips. A tiny peck from her brushes along the side of my mouth. Her lips are warm and soft, meeting mine as she kisses me.
She bites lightly at my bottom lip, tasting like morning. I’m flooded with endorphins. I graze a hand across her cheeks, meeting her bottom lip with my thumb. Payton grabs a fist full of my hair before she pins her body against mine, and we kiss again.
I part my mouth and our tongues tangle together. I’m drowning. I can’t fill my lungs with air quick enough to meet each stroke of her lips. A raspy groan escapes her as she grinds her hips into my thigh.
The subtle sound of the doorknob twisting hits my ears.Seriously? It must be Jared hounding me about practice this morning. Talk aboutbad timing. The blood is sucked right out of my balls as the bedroom door clicks open.
“You can knock, you know!” I shout, but it’s not him. It’s Charlie, holding onto the doorknob with a death grip. A loud ring screeches in my ears, and all I hear is my heartbeat pounding in my chest.
“What are you doing here? It’s seven in the morning.” Charlie doesn’t respond to me. It’s an ugly plain stare followed by her visibly swallowing. “Hello?” Her eyes burn into my skull and the hurt within them reminds me of the emotional bullet Brittni shot me with when I caught her with Brody. It’s just pure pain and betrayal.
Payton coils the sheets up to her chest, white as a ghost. “I... Let me explain.”
Charlie scoffs, shaking her head as she bites her bottom lip, with hands raking through her black curls. “I tracked you on Snap. Of course you’re here sleeping with my brother.”
“Please...” Payton begs.
Charlie stands in pure silence as if she took a needle and thread, sewing up her lips with stitches. She always screams her opinion and curses like a sailor, yet now she stands muted.
“I know I said we were just friends the other night,” Payton says, kicking off the sheets and finding her shorts on the floor. She slept in one of my baggy shirts and her undies. Charlie takes two steps out of the bedroom and into the dim hallways. “Just hear me out.”
Charlie shakes her head and bolts down the hallway with feet stomping. I grab a clean white shirt hanging out of the dresser and throw it over my head. Payton chases after Charlie, rushing down the hallway, and I follow in pursuit.
Payton grasps Charlie’s wrists, swirling her around. “Ididland on someone during Roulette,” she says, but Charlie yanks her grip free.
“Don’t touch me.” Charlie points a finger. She tenses up, with her shoulders going rigid.
“Hey, hey!” I grasp Payton’s shoulders, pushing her behind me as Charlie licks her upper teeth with fists clenched at her sides. The one thing I don’t want to revisit is my sister’s temper.
Payton walks around me. She swallows and her lips tremble as she says, “I’m sorry... I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“So you lied?” Charlie laughs, clapping her hands and pressing them to her lips. “No Charlie, I don’t have the hots for your brother. We’re just friends, we’re just hanging out more.” Charlie mimics Payton using the sound of her voice, and the pain is stitched into each word. “You must think I’m so stupid.”
“Nothing’s been the same with us since you dated Brody...” Payton shakes her head.
“You lied and treated me like I was blind.”
“I know...” Payton admits standing mere inches from Charlie.
“I knew you were messing with my brother, and you kept denying it, and you’re sleeping in his bed, and kissing him, and god knows what else.” She steps forward, backing Payton into the wall.
I grasp Charlie’s wrist, yanking her away from Payton to intervene and say, “For fuck's sake, it’s me of all people. Why does it matter to you so much? You knew it yourself the night I delivered pizza, I was into her.” I hold out my hands, but my sister rolls her eyes at me and makes a beeline towards the front door. “So you’re running away? That’s real mature of you!”
“Shut up! You don’t understand, and you never have!” Charlie argues, swinging the front door open. With a palm, I slam it shut.
“Whatdon’t I understand? Explain it to me?”
“You don’t see it?” Charlie pauses, curling her front teeth over her bottom lip, and it slips out. “You’ve got everything you ever wanted,you’re on posters and on TV, you’re playing college football. It all just came so easy for you.” She starts counting it on her fingertips, and each item makes her face redder. “Whatever you wanted, Dad handed it to you on a platter. If you ever paid attention you would see you were the favorite. After you left me with shitty parents who only cared about you, I hadonething. I had Payton... my best friend.” She slams a fist into her chest. “And you’re just gonna take that too.”
“You’ve treated her like crap all summer long, and since college started. That’s not you being a good friend,” I argue, my voice loud enough to wake up everyone in the house. “You’ve changed. Ever since you dated Brody, you became exactly like them. Just plain mean!”
“Please stop fighting, I just want to fix everything... please.” Payton hugs her stomach.
“No. Everything is already broken. Let me leave.” Charlie presses her lips together, and I open the front door for her. She rushes out, climbing down the porch steps to the beaten up car Mom handed over to her.
