Page 36 of Explode
Guilt consumed me to the point I threw back the covers and jumpedout of bed. “Sofia, wait.”
She paused, before slowly turning around with her arms crossed overher chest, and met my eye with a raised brow. Sheesh, even when she was pissed she was still gorgeous. Miles was fucking lucky she’d one day be his wife.
“You probably hate me,” I said awkwardly.
She dropped her arms as her shoulders slumped. “I don’t hate you,Riley. You’re not the one who came up with the preposterous marriage agreement.”
“I know, but if it wasn’t for me coming here in the first place….” Itrailed off when her brows pinched together in a frown. “For what it’s worth, Miles is a good guy,” I added, hoping that would put her mind at rest a little.
“If he’s such a good guy, then why are you hiding here?”
Fuck. She had a point.
Miles was top of my shit list. Well, second place to Kai, and it wouldhave been so easy to let rip into how much I hated him at that moment, yet for some reason, I felt the need to defend him.
“I didn’t say he wasn’t a douchebag from time to time,” I replied,grinning. She held my gaze for a minute before a small smile crept over her lips.
“Is Kai really alive?” she asked tentatively. “Rafe told me thismorning.”
Great. I can’t say I was loving that my life was turning into a soapdrama that everyone was gossiping about.
“Yeah.”
“Wow,” she replied. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
No.
Maybe.
Urgh. I was so done with talking about it, and yet I still had so muchto get off my chest.
And so, after a shower and changing into the designer dress thatSofia brought, I poured my heart out to her. There was something about the Bianchi twins that made it easy to talk to them. She sat there in stunned silence as I recounted the same version of events I had told to Rafe not twelve hours before.
“Holy fuck,” she said after I had run out of words to say.
“You can say that again,” I muttered.
“But aren’t you glad he isn’t dead?” she asked, curiosity heavy in hervoice.
“I mean, yeah, of course I am,” I replied, because of course I fuckingwas. I loved Kai, even if he was a grade A prick. But it was possible to love and hate someone at the same time. “I don’t know how to explain it.” I paused and looked around the room before returning back to face her. “I don’t wish to upset you, but how would you feel if your mom walked through the doors after all this time and said,‘Surprise, I’m back, it was all just a ruse’?”
I didn’t want to bring her mom into it, but it was the only way I couldget her to understand how I was feeling.
She was thoughtful for a moment, and I was grateful she was taking aminute to consider the question.
“Heartbroken,” she replied quietly, her eyes filled with sorrow.
We sat for a few minutes in silence, thoughts swirling in my head.
Every time I said out loud that Kai was alive, the more heightened my emotions became. Happiness warred with fury. Relief warred with resentment. Love warred with hate.
“What are you going to do?” Sofia asked, breaking the silence.
I blew out a breath. “Honestly? I don’t know,” I said, falling backagainst the pillows when the weight of indecision became too much. “I guess I’ll figure out a way to get to Spain and meet Angel, but after that, who knows? We’ll have to relocate somewhere and try to start over again.”
“You want to walk away from everything? What about Kai?” sheasked in surprise.
I closed my eyes. Could I walk away from Kai? Yeah, I was pissed athim now, but could I spend the rest of my life without him? But hadn’t I spent the last six months believing that Iwouldbe facing the rest of my days without him?
