Page 78 of Explode
“But you did, so why didn’t Miles tell me then?” Riley asked, unable tohold back her question.
“Because although I’d survived the day, the doctors knew I wasnowhere near out of danger. Plus, with the amount of time they had spent resuscitating me, they didn’t know if I’d suffered any brain damage from lack of oxygen, so Miles made the decision to not tell you until I regained consciousness. You have to understand, Riley, he was doing what he thought was best for you. He didn’t want to give you false hope only for it to be taken away again.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but for whatever reason, she closed itagain, instead tearing her eyes away to look down at her hand, her eyes fixed on her wedding ring which she was twirling around on her finger.
“What happened next?”
“They kept me sedated for three weeks. When I woke up and foundAsh there instead of you and reacted the way I did, they sedated me for another week. The doctors were worried my body wasn’t strong enough to cope with the stress I’d put on it once I found out what had happened. When they brought me round a week later, Miles was there, along with Ash.”
“Miles came to see you?” Riley asked, her body tensing. “I didn’t thinkhe left me?”
“The facility wasn’t far from where you were living. The doctors hadplanned to bring me round so they did it at night when you were asleep and none the wiser. Miles wanted to speak to me first before he made any decisions to tell you I was really alive.” I paused to take another shot of whiskey, the warm liquid calming the bubbling anger underneath my skin.
“When I woke the second time, Miles explained you were safe andbeing looked after by Ash’s men. Knowing you were safe, it meant I could listen to Miles without worrying about you. When I was fully coherent, Miles filled me in on everything that had happened over the time I’d been sedated.
“When he told me you thought I was dead, I went fucking ape-shit.I demanded they tell you straight away that I was alive, and you be brought to me. But both Miles and Ash refused until I’d heard them out. Ash even threatened to get the doctor to sedate me again unless I calmed the fuck down.”
Riley stared at me from across the table, engrossed in every word Ihad to say. I only hoped she’d carry on listening as intently when I told her the next part.
“When I eventually calmed down, Miles told me I needed to considermy options before he told you I was alive. He said he hated seeing you hurting the way you were, but something had changed in you. Even though you were breaking, he said you had this new determination running through you to take back everything that had been taken from us. Then he said‘Sometimes people have to break to come back stronger.’”
Her face paled in an instant. “He said that?” she said, hurt evident inher voice.
“Yeah. And again, I went fucking ape-shit at him. But then he askedme to hear him out, and if by the end of everything he had to say I was adamant I wanted you told, he promised he would go straight to you and tell you.”
Guilt washed through me because after I heard what he had to say, itwas my decision to not tell her. Seemingly coming to the same conclusion too, her lips curled into a snarl.
“You went along with it. You could have ended my suffering, but youwent along with it,” she hissed, ripping her hand out of my grasp.
“Riley. You promised to hear me out,” I reminded her, trying to keepmy cool, and not let my desperation for her to understand why I made the decision to shine through.
Her jaw clenched, and she swiped away a tear, but I took her silenceas a nod to carry on.
“As you know, Hendrix had been threatening people, either get onboard with him taking over or die. People had no choice but to declare their loyalty to him, so there was no way of knowing who was truly loyal to him, or who had just declared their loyalty so they didn’t face death. At that time, no one knew where the fuck Thorne was, it was only a few weeks after I woke up the second time that he reappeared and resumed his role as the chief, but for all Miles knew at the time, he was out there plotting revenge while Hendrix ran the show.
“We needed time, time to see what Thorne and Hendrix’s next moveswere, time to seek out people we could rely upon when the time came to take back the city, and time for me to heal because there was no fucking way I was going to sit back and watch from a distance as you and Miles sought revenge. But I also needed time for you to learn to protect yourself.”
Her brows shot up but I continued before she had a chance to sayanything on the matter. “Hendrix had been reaching out to contacts across the States, he’d sent your picture to every single contact he had, demanding you be located and brought to him. I trusted Miles and Ash’s men to keep you safe, but if something happened, I needed you to know how to defend yourself because there was no fucking way I would be in any fit state to help you. You needed time to learn. Needed to know that if you ever got caught by some fucker, you could do what you needed to do to protect yourself.”
Riley’s face paled. “I didn’t know Hendrix had been putting my pictureout across the country.”
“Miles didn’t want to scare you. Especially by that point, you werebegging Miles to take Hollows Bay back, he didn’t want to frighten you off. He told me you were the driving force behind taking retribution against Thorne and Hendrix, that you were coming up with ideas on how to reclaim the city. It was you who demanded he did something-”
“Yeah, because I thought you were dead!” she snapped, interruptingme. “Kai, if I had known you were alive, I would have sat back and waited until you were healed so you could deal with it.”
“Exactly. You would have sat back and waited.” I stared at her for aminute, waiting for her anger to ebb, and when she calmed a fraction, I proceeded. “Star, the doctors said my recovery was going to takemonths,maybe longer. The longer we waited, the more of a hold Thorne and Hendrix would have gotten over the city before we even started planning to bring them down, and who the fuck knew what damage they could cause in that time. But you, you were on a one-woman mission to reclaim our city-”
“Yourcity,” she huffed, scowling at me.
“Ourcity, Riley. It becameourcity when we got married.”
Despite her wrath, her face softened, and her voice shook when shespoke. “Kai, I never wanted the city. I only wanted you.”
“I know, baby,” I paused to take a deep breath, knowing what I wasabout to say next would rile her more. “And that’s why I told Miles not to tell you I was alive. I needed you to come to want the city as well as wanting me. I needed you to learn to love controlling Hollows Bay the way I do, needed you to learn how to rule it so that when I recovered, we could take it back and rule together.
“On our wedding day, while I was waiting for you to walk down theaisle, I told Miles that until we had a child, and until he or she was ready to take my place, if anything were to happen to me, I was leaving Hollows Bay to you. I knew you had it in you to carry on everything I was doing to make Hollows Bay a better place, you just had to see it for yourself, and that’s why you had to break, so you could come back stronger.”
“Are you hearing yourself right now, Kai? You wanted me to break?The woman you claim to love? You wanted me to shatter into a thousand pieces, and somehow put them back together without any help? That’s not love! That’s fucked up!” she hissed, and if looks could kill, I’d be a dead man right now.
