Page 67 of Sweet Surrender
“And so he decided to take the name Fox as a big fuck you to hisdad?” I said, putting the pieces together.
“Yeah,” Nash chuckled. “Technically, his name is Jesse Fox. Helegally changed it as soon as he was old enough, but he insists on everyone calling him Fox.”
“Why Jesse?”
“That’s his story to tell,” Nash replied.
My curiosity about Fox peaked all the more, but I wasn’t going topry. Maybe one day I’d learn why he’d picked that name. “Okay, so how did you know who he was?” I asked instead.
“His dad owned a casino, and he and my old man were rivals. Theyhated each other. Before either Fox or I were born, they’d fallen out over a woman, and their dislike for each other only intensified over the years. They were always trying to poach each other’s customers or do things like secretly reporting each other to the gambling commission.
“It was drummed into both Fox and I when we were kids that we wereto keep away from each other, but our fathers were so busy trying to destroy each other that they didn’t realize their sons were becoming the best of friends and putting their heads together to build their own successful empire. Fox wanted the name his father used to call him to be in the Vegas skyline in bright lights so that every time his dad saw it, he would know that his son had out-foxed him. And I wanted my name in lights to show my dad that I had accomplished everything he’d set out to do but failed.”
A small grin pulled at my lips, proud that both Nash and Fox hadproved to their fathers they didn’t need men like them in their lives.
It was ironic really, Nash now had the dream his father had been chasing instead of looking after his children, and even though I had never met his father, I hoped his life was full of regret for what he’d put Nash through.
“What happened to your brother?” I said, taking a sip of my wine andreturning the conversation to where it all started. “How did he die?”
The smile fell from Nash’s face as the darkness that filled them earlierreturned. At least I understood why it was there now. “Officially, he committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”
“And unofficially?” I asked, knowing that from the coolness in Nash’stone, there was a lot more to Blake Carson’s death than suicide.
“A truth Fox and I will take to our graves,” he replied with an air offinality.
I held his eye for a few seconds as thoughts spun around in my head.While I knew Nash had threatened to end Liam’s life, I never considered him a dangerous man, a murderer. But now, with what he’d just said, there wasn’t even the smallest part of me that doubted he’d had a hand in Blake’s death.
I probably should have been scared that the man I was married towas capable of such things, but I wasn’t. If anything, I was glad Blake wasn’t around anymore to hurt anyone else.
“Thank you for telling me. I can’t imagine that was easy for you,” Isaid after a minute of silence passed. I was grateful that I now had a little insight as to who Nash was.
Nash nodded his head once. “What happened to me in my childhoodcaused a lot of damage. Fox got me through some difficult times, if it wasn’t for him, I’d probably be dead. I owe him my life,” he replied, pausing to take a sip of his drink. “But not all of the damage could be undone. It’s why I am the way I am, why I have a need to be in control of things. Control of people. I’ve come a long way in learning to manage the impulse to control things, but I’ll never not have that need. Being in control means I will never be put back in a situation that I have no way out of.”
I bit my lip, understanding registering as to why he wanted to controleverything I did, and for a moment, guilt flooded me over what I’d done to his food. He’d trusted me, and I betrayed that trust by intentionally making him ill, making him lose control.
But still, a part of me refused to let go ofmyneed to be in control.After all, if I was in control of my own thoughts, actions, and decisions, I’d never find myself in a situation like I was with Liam.
“And what if a person doesn’t want to be controlled by you?” I saidquietly, feeling like this was a pivotal moment in our crazy relationship. “What if someone wants to stand on their own two feet, and know they don’t need to put their trust in a person who will only break it?”
He paused for a moment, his brows furrowed in thought. “Liam was afool for what he did to you, sweetheart. But I’m not him, I would never do that to you. If you give me your trust, if you give me your surrender, I promise that I will look after you until the day I die. Yes, I’ll control you,I’ll make decisions for you, but they will only be with your best interests at heart. Give me your surrender, Savannah, and I’ll give you all of me.”
My heart began thumping against my chest, excitement andanticipation building in my stomach.
Nash spoke with nothing but honesty and conviction, and I couldn’thelp but want to put my trust in him.
But could I really give him what he wanted? Could I find it in myself tolive my life letting him tell me what I could or couldn’t do?
I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t the type of person to allow myself to becontrolled, but as I stared at Nash across the table, a longing for him grew. A longing that buried itself deep in my body I didn’t think I’d ever be able to remove it.
Chapter 21
Savannah
After the intense conversation, we changed the subject to lightertopics. We spoke about the resorts Nash and Fox owned around the world.
Aside from the places in Vegas, Miami, and New York, they hadresorts in London, Sydney, and Paris. Once Onyx, their third casino in Vegas opened in a few weeks’ time, they planned on opening a casino in Singapore.
Nash promised to take me to see all of them, and considering I’dnever been outside the US, I was more than excited to go.
