Page 90 of Sweet Possession
“Sounds like a lot of fun,”I said, imagining two small children playingthe game.
“It was. A little too much fun as it turned out. Every time I caughtJessie, her squeals got louder. Every time they got louder, I tickled her for longer. It didn’t occur to methatwe might be making too much noise. Not until my dad barged in. He ripped Jessie out of my arms and went to hit her, but I got in between them. My dad, he was furious. He was so angrythatwhen he yelled, spittle flew from his mouth and landed on my cheek. It’s funny how I can still rememberthat.”
He fell silent as I reached up to stroke his cheek as if I could wipeaway the memory of the spit, a day’s worth of stubble brushing against my palm.
“What happened next?”I asked softly.
Fox swallowed, his throat bobbing.“My dad dragged me down to thebasement,”he said, only now there was raw pain in his voice. “I was used to being locked in there, but the nanny was usually at the house to make sure Jessie was okay.Thatday, I spent the entire time pacing the basement, worrying about Jessie and what my dad was doing to her.
“I was down there for about an hour when my dad let me out, tellingmethathe couldn’t look after Jessieandmake all the calls he needed to make. He told me to take her up to my bedroom and to keep the noise down or we’d both be locked in the basement. When he went back to his office, I went to get Jessie, but I couldn’t find her. Our house was big, so it took me a few minutes to go to each room to see where she was, but when I couldn’t find her, I started panicking.”
My heart began to pound in my chest. Fox’s words were starting tocome out faster as he recalled what happened. I bit my lip to stop myself from saying anything, wanting to let him get everything out now he was on a roll.
“I didn’t want to disturb my dad, so I was calling her name but tryingto keep my voice down. Once I’d checked the house a second time, Ireallybegan to panic. AndthenI realized the door to the garden was open. I ran outside, and I saw her straight away.”
He broke off as tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. Seeing himhurting the way he was made my own eyes brim with tears.
“She was in the pool. Her little body face down on the surface withher brown hair floating around her. For a few seconds, I was rooted to the spot, frozen in terror. But I must have been screaming her name ‘cos my dad came storming out, furiousthatI was making noise again. When he saw what had happened, he jumped in and dragged Jessie over to the side. Somehow, I managed to snap out of my daze. I tried to help him lift her onto the side, but she was so heavy, her clothes were soaked through.
“When I saw her face, my legs buckled and I fell down next to her.Her lips were blue, and her eyes were closed. I thought I was going to puke at how pale her skin was. My dad started CPR, and I remember falling back onto my ass to watch him, but I knew she was gone.”
His voice broke, along with my heart, when he added,“I was too late.”
Chapter 25
Fox
We were quiet for an age as the worst day of my life played onrepeat. Through countless therapy sessions, I’d processed what had happened, but I still found it difficult to talk about.
With Cora securely in my arms though, it wasn’t as hard to recallthatday. She was my security blanket, protecting me as I allowed the demons who haunted me out of the box I’d locked them away in.
For the longest time, I blamed myself for Jessie’s death. If I hadn’tbeen making her laugh so loudly, I never would have been thrown into the basement. If I’d tried harder to fight back against my dad, stood up to him, he never would have had the chance to lock me away.
If…
Therapy helped me acceptthatI wasn’t to blame. I was only a childmyself. But I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times whenthatguilt crept in, and I’d hate myself for not being able to protect Jessie when she needed me the most.
“I’m so sorry, Daddy,”Cora whispered, breaking the silence, her eyesbrimming with unshed tears. I kissed her forehead, holding her closer to me.“Did she fall in, or…?”
She broke off, not asking the question I’d asked myself at the time;did my dad have anything to do with Jessie ending up in the pool?
“Yeah. Bythen, my dad’s business was beginning to fail, and he’dhad several death threats sent to the house. He had cameras installed around the place, so when the police came, they checked them. The cop who took my statement tried to stop me from watching the footage, but I had to see it. It showed Jessie playing with a ball. She dropped it, and it rolled into the pool. When she tried to reach in and get it, she fell, and she couldn’t get back out again.”
The image of Jessie splashing around, pure terror twisted on her faceas she tried to keep her head above the water, only to fall still a minute later was engraved in my memories.
For years, I had nightmares where I was back there with her,watching as she splashed around, but was never able to reach her. When I’d wake the following morning, I’d be drenched in sweat, and the first thingthatwould pop into my head was my dad’s voice telling me to end my life to stop my suffering.
“Oh,”Cora said, pulling me from my dark thoughts.“I wondered if…”
“My dad had something to do with it? Yeah, me too. But you knowwhat? The moment he pulled her from the swimming pool, he tried his hardest to save her. It was like I was seeing a different side to him. Every time he pushed up and down on her chest, hebeggedher to start breathing.”
The way my old man reactedthatday was the only reason he wasstill alive today. No matter how much he hated Jessie for not being his kid, he’d done his best to bring her back to life.
If he hadn’t, I was certain he would have met a similar fate to whatNash’s brother did, but no matter how much I hated him, I couldn’t let myself forget how devastated he was when he realizedthatshe was gone.
“So the police knew your dad locked you in the basement?”
I smirked, figuring Cora would pick up onthat.“No. Before the policearrived, my dad had grabbed me by the arm and hauled me away from where I was sobbing next to Jessie. He told methatI was to tell the police I’d been playing in my bedroom, andthatif I dared mention the basement, he’d do a lot worse to me than lock me away for a few hours. Of course I obeyed, I was terrified of him.”
