Page 36 of Cruel Love
I needed space. I’d only been home a few days from the last contract,but my home was no longer my peaceful sanctuary anymore, not when she was there. Not when I could so easily let myself drown in her.
Now I knew why recovering alcoholics refused to have booze in theirhouse. They knew it was there, hiding in a cupboard, waiting to infect their veins. Once they started thinking about it, they could never get it out of their heads, until they eventually caved, and allowed themselves to be suckered into the poison.
Space away from her was all I needed. Which was why I’d ended upsneaking into Jackson’s apartment. Despite my five calls to him while Marco drove me to his apartment block, the asshole didn’t answer, but as I crept into his darkened apartment, the reason became obvious.
From behind his closed bedroom door, two women squealed,followed by Jackson’s dark laugh, and a command for one of the women to eat the other’s pussy.
In days gone by, I would have delighted in going into the room andgiving Jackson a helping hand. But with Willow’s juices still coating my cock, along with the image of her throwing her head back as she rode me seared into my brain, I couldn’t bring myself to go anywhere near the bedroom.
Instead, I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass off Jackson’smini-bar and poured myself a generous shot. Taking a seat on his leather couch, I waited in the dark, my mind consumed with the mouse.
Fuck, what was it about herthathad me so damn obsessed? I’dnever met anyone like her before. Quiet and submissive, obeying my every command without hesitation.
She was perfect.
The women I’d met over the years were always so desperate. Soneedy and demanding, and it never took long for me to grow bored of them.
But the mouse? I couldn’t see myself ever growing tired of watching theway she would gracefully walk toward me, ready to heed my commands. She was everything I had wanted. But I didn’t want these weird feelings she stirred up inside of me.
Lost in thought, it didn’t registerthatthe groans and pants fromJackson’s room had fallen quiet.
“Jesus! You scared the shit out of me,”Jackson shrieked, havingturned the light on to find me sitting on his couch, his hand flying up to clutch his bare chest.
I swallowed a mouthful of whiskey, not giving a fuckthathe wasbutt-naked, his cock swinging free. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen him naked before.
“What the fuck are you doing here, asshole? I’m busy,”he huffed,grabbing a throw off the back of the couch and wrapping it around his waist.
“Can I stay with you for a couple of nights?”I replied, not wanting totell him the real reason I was there;thatif I went home, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep away from Willow.
His brows rose.“Yeah, course. Is everything okay?”
I took another mouthful of my drink, this time larger than the onebefore.“Yep.”
Jackson sighed, his shoulders slumping as his gaze darted to hisbedroom door where, undoubtedly, two gorgeous women were waiting for him.
He swiped a glass off the bar before pouring himself a shot ofwhiskey and took a seat next to me. For a few minutes, the two of us sat in silence, nursing our drinks, the only sound echoing through the apartment was the ticking of Jackson’s enormous wall clock.
“You know, there’s nothing wrong with admittingthatyou’redeveloping feelings for her. No one is going to think any less of you. It’s not a weakness,”he said, breaking into my thoughts.
“I’m not,”I growled in reply.
“Sure. But from the minute you got back home from your trip toPeartree House, you’ve been different. Sullen. Less tolerant of everything. Isthata coincidence?”
I sighed in resignation knowing Jackson wouldn’t drop it.“I don’tknow what it is about her. I can’t get her out of my head.”
“And that’s a bad thing, why?”
“You know why,”I snapped, downing the rest of my drink andslamming the glass on the table.
“Because of Shona? Dude,thatwas years ago.”
A muscle ticked in my jaw, the way it always did whenever someonementioned Shona.
My first and only love.
The girl I thought I would marry and grow old with.
Until she betrayed me.
