Page 38 of Cruel Love
Chapter 14
Willow
Ms. Milligan used to say that an idle mind was the devil’s playgroundwhich is why she kept me busy; I wouldn’t have time to think about my life before I arrived at Peartree House or plot ways to escape if I had endless tasks to do.
Often, I went to bed exhausted, wishing that for one day, I could justhave a day where I did nothing. A day where I could just sit, and think about my past or let myself imagine what my life would be like if fate had taken me on a different path.
How I regretted those wishes after James kissed me.
For three days, I was locked away in my room with nothing to do butthink. Think about how I felt when James kissed me. Think about his words, telling me that he needed me and that he couldn’t get me out of his head. Think about how his emotions changed from boiling to ice cold in a split second.
Think about why he had kept his distance since that night, and whythe hell there was a part of me that kinda missed him in a strange way.I eventually came to the conclusion that the only reason I thought Iwas missing him was because I’d been starved of any kind of attention for so long.
Sure, James was cruel to me, and only used me for sex, but Iwondered if brief moments with him were better than not having any human interaction. It wasn’t like I could count Edith, the woman barely acknowledged my existence.
Wasn’t there a saying in the journalistic world? Even negative presswas still press, and the same could be said for the relationship I now had with James. He might have only seen me as an object he could use whenever hesaw fit, but he still saw me. That was more than what could have been said for my time at Peartree House.
And wasn’t that just pathetic?
Day four was no different from the last three days, and I was beginningto feel like I was slowly going insane with staring at the same four walls.
After Edith had brought me lunch, and I’d picked at the tuna salad, Idragged a chair over to the Juliet balcony and opened the doors so I could at least feel the fresh air on my face as I admired the view of the garden.
It was the closest I was going to get to going out for a while.
Seconds, minutes, and hours ticked by as I stared out at the grounds,my mind replaying the very moment James slammed his mouth down on mine when we were in the back of the car. Every time that memory played, my core would clench, sending a delicious tremor through my body.
No matter how many times I tried to shut the memory down, it justwouldn’t go away.
As the sun began to set on another day in isolation, the jangling ofkeys indicated the door being opened. It was too early for dinner, and my heart leaped in my throat at the thought that James had finally returned.
I wasn’t sure the bolt of anticipation that shot through me was entirelya feeling of dread.
But I didn’t need to worry that James was about to abuse my bodywhen Edith stepped in with a large box in her hands.
“You will be attending to some business with Mr. Carter this evening.You will shower and dress in the garments he has provided for you. Be ready in one hour.”With that, she left, the door shutting ominously behind her.
I stared at the box she’d left on the bed for a moment, apprehensionbeginning to build in my stomach, not just at the thought of seeing James, but at wondering what business he could possibly want me to attend with him.
When a few minutes passed, and I hadn’t moved, a little voice in myhead reminded me that if I didn’t get my ass into gear, I’d only be punished.
Exactly fifty-eight minutes later, I waited in my room, my feetalready hurting from the five-inch silver, strappy sandals I was wearing.
They perfectly matched the beautiful dress James had sent - atight-fitting, long-sleeved, black dress that reached my knees, and had a thin silver belt around my waist.
Not knowing what to do with my hair, I’d decided to leave it down, buttucked it behind my ears, as opposed to letting it hang around my face like it usually did.
As I waited, I passed the full-length mirror, catching a glimpse ofmyself but unable to look for more than a few seconds, scared of what I might find. Like a sparkle of hope lingering in my different colored eyes that James would tell me I looked pretty and kiss me again.
“Good, you’re ready,”Edith said after she’d unlocked the door andcast an assessing gaze over me.“Come on.”
I followed her through the hallways of James’ mansion, my heelsclacking on the marble floor. I kept my head down, silently begging my racing heart to slow before I gave myself a heart attack.
Reaching the front door, a shiver ran down my spine when Edithopened it, and a blast of cool air hit my bare skin. At least that was what I told myself. It had nothing to do with finding James throwing a bag into the trunk of a black car before slamming the hood.
His head whipped to where I’d momentarily paused to take in the tuxhe was wearing, and doing my best to ignore the flush creeping across my chest.
James’ eyes scanned over my body, his face completely stoic, andany hope that I’d built up in my head that there was more to our kiss was instantly dashed when his eyes hardened.
