Page 59 of Cruel Love
But then, something soothing covered my back. Something freezingcold, and instantly cooling the burn. Tender hands pressed the ice cold material against my skin, while reassuring whispers reached my ears, bringing me back to the present.
I blinked away my tears, the memories from eight years ago fadingaway as the fire was doused. I turned my head to find James kneeling next to me. He’d managed to lay me onto my stomach, and next to him was a bucket of water with cubes of ice floating in it.
“You’re okay, Mouse,”James whispered, gently pulling the towelhe’d laid across my back off and dipping it back into the bucket.
A shiver ran down my spine when James pressed the newly soaked towelagainst my back again.
“What happened?”I asked, my voice weak.
Silence filled the room, and a look I’d never seen him wear beforecrossed his face.
Guilt.
He swallowed and tore his eyes away from mine before he mutteredwords that I could just about hear over the thrumming of blood in my ears.“I pushed you too far.”
Chapter 21
James
Iwasn’t the type of man to say sorry. Perhaps I needed to learn somehumility, and Willow was the one to teach me, because as she lay on the bed whimpering, her body shivering as I ran cubes of ice over her scarred skin, every single one of my nerves screamed at me to apologize and beg for her forgiveness for what I’d put her through.
Once again, I lost control, just like I had the morning in my bedroomwhen I nearly fucked her ass. Only this time, I didn’t stop when she told me to. The desperate need to find out what secrets my father was harboring pushed me to the brink, and instead of walking away and composing myself, I’d forced Willow to relive her nightmares.
And I hated myself for it.
She’d been sleeping soundly next to me, but the conversation I’doverheard had played in my head like a broken record until I realized the only way I could keep Willow safe was to find out what secrets my father was hiding.
If I found out, I’d have ammunition to use against him.
“Mouse,”I said softly, but stopped short of muttering my apologywhen her watery eyes found mine and held me captive.
She looked broken.
Despite everything she’d been through, everythingI’dput her through, she never broke.
Until now.
Getting to my feet, I gently placed one hand on Willow’s shoulderand the other on her hip, rolling her onto her back. There was no resistance in her body as I scooped her into my arms and lifted her into my lap, her head lolling before resting against my bare chest.
For a few minutes, neither of us moved. I held her against me,counting the beats of her racing heart as I recalled what I’d witnessed. I’d never seen anything like it.
Her eyes had glazed over as she began thrashing on the bed,screaming and begging for the figment of her imagination to not hurt her. Milligan had trained her to be the goddamn human version ofPavlov’s dogs.Instead of salivating at the sound of a bell, all she felt was pain whenever there was mention of her past.
When Willow had begun clawing at her back, I’d sprinted to thekitchen to grab a champagne bucket and filled it with ice and water, hoping the cold would soothe the pain ripping her apart.
Thankfully, it had.
I wasn’t sure what I would have done to bring her back to me if ithadn’t worked, and I had no intention of ever putting Willow through that again.
It almost brokemeto see her that way.
When Willow’s pulse evened out, and her soft whimpers ceased, Ishifted her slightly so I could look at her, finding her eyes still glazed over as she stared at the wall.
“Look at me, Mouse,”I instructed, my tone firm. Her watery gaze metmine instantly, brimming with unshed tears.“I can’t take away what they did to you at Peartree House, but I promise you, Milligan and Welch, and any other fucker who has had a hand in hurting you will pay.”
It was the closest I would get to apologizing for what I’d put herthrough, and with the slightest hint of relief that filtered into Willow’s eyes, she knew it too.
“I wish I could remember,”she said quietly, her petite fingers clingingto my arms. There was a time I didn’t want her touching me, but now, the need to wrench her fingers from my body was non-existent. “I wish I could remember everything frombefore.”
