Page 68 of Cruel Love
I took another step forward, James’ gaze searing into me as if hecouldn’t understand the language I was speaking.“I see you, James. I see the real you. You’re nothing like your father. There’s good inside of you. Buried under the walls you’ve erected, there’s a good heart that beats.”
He didn’t reply for a long minute, only staring long and hard at me ashis eyes darted between mine before his features turned stoic once more.“If you believe that, then you’re more naive than I ever thought.”
He reached for the door handle, but I stepped forward.“Maybe Iam,”I said quickly, halting his movements.“Maybe I’m naive for believing that, but I do. I believe it with all my heart.”I took another step, closing the distance between us, watching as his body tensed as if he was scared I was going to touch him.“You’re a good man, James. You may believe you’re like your father, only capable of cruelty, but I’ve seen differently. I see how you love Kiera and Billie. I saw the love you held for your mom. Love that your father is incapable of.”
I bit my lip, stopping myself from telling James that I saw how helooked at me when he thought I wasn’t looking.
Like I was his lifeline.
He didn’t move, his chest barely rising as he inhaled, and his darkeyes holding me captive, but there was something different to them. Light had begun to seep in, chasing away the storm clouds only to be extinguished when James shook his head.
“Edith will be in shortly to change the bed.”With that, he left,slamming the door behind him.
James didn’t come near or by the bedroom all day. By the time Edithcame to change the bedsheets, my cramps were in full swing. Nausea consumed me so badly that I couldn’t face eating a scrap of food, and despite wanting to go outside to enjoy the warm day, the only thing I could do to ease the pain was to curl up into a ball on the soft bed, and hope the cramps would ease up.
When night fell, and James still hadn’t come to bed, I gave upwaiting, and climbed under the sheets, accepting that he was avoiding me. I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable, and bile creeping up my throat from the nausea still churning in my stomach.
Remembering that the last time I felt like this, I’d managed to fallasleep next to the open balcony doors, I grabbed my pillow and clambered out of bed, not bothering to turn the light on.
I cracked open the doors, the fresh air brushing over my sweatyskin, and instantly cooling me. Dropping the pillow on the floor, I laid down, the plush carpet almost as comfortable as the bed. With the air gently blowing over me, I closed my eyes and waited forsleep to come, but a few minutes later, the bedroom door creaked as it was pushed open, and then closed again.
Light footsteps padded across the room, making as little noise aspossible. I didn’t move. I knew it was James, but I didn’t know what mood I’d find him in, and the last thing I wanted was for him to demand sex. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take the pain of him being inside me when I ached so much.
The shuffling of clothing filled the room as James undressed, followedby the mattress squeaking as he got into bed.
“Mouse?”James hissed as he suddenly flailed around. A secondlater, his bedside lamp switched on, illuminating the room. I opened my eyes to find his panicked gaze darting around the room, relief filling them when he found me lying on the floor.“What are you doing down there?”
I stayed in the position I was in; curled up like a fetus in a womb.“Iwasn’t feeling too well. I was getting some fresh air.”
He was out of the bed and marching over to me in an instant, wearingonly his boxer briefs, and worry creasing his brow. I didn’t have the energy to sit up, right at that moment, a cramp gripped me in its vices, almost taking my breath away.
“Is it your stomach?”James asked, lowering himself to his knees, andplacing a hand on my forehead to check my temperature.
“Yes.”
“Did Edith not bring you any pain relief?”he snapped angrily.
“I didn’t ask,”I admitted weakly, earning a deep scowl from him.
“Why the fuck didn’t you ask if you’re in that much pain?”he growledas his hand tenderly stroked my head.
I shrugged.“I was never allowed any pain relief at Peartree House.I’m used to feeling this way for a few days whenever I get my period. It’ll soon pass.”
His eyes narrowed on me before he scooped me into hisarms and stood. He carried me over to the bed, placing me on top of the sheets before he cursed under his breath and disappeared out of the room.
I didn’t have the energy to move again. Didn’t have the energy to carethat I’d pissed him off. All I wanted was to go to sleep. I knew I’d feel better in a couple of days, I just had to get through the worst of it.
James burst back into the room holding a glass of water in one hand,a pack of tablets in the other, and a hot water bottle under one arm.
“Take two of these,”he huffed, thrusting the pill packet and the glassof water at me.
I sat up and took the Advil from him, popping two pills out andswallowing them with the water, James’ watchful glare on me the entire time. Once I’d put the glass of water on the side, James handed me the hot water bottle.
“It’ll help ease the cramps. Kiera used to get bad pains too, and shealways had a hot water bottle to help her.”
“Thank you,”I replied gratefully. I took it from him and placed itagainst my belly. Within minutes, the heat began to ease the cramps.
James slid into bed next to me and turned the light off without anotherword or kissing me goodnight. He didn’t pull me into his arms like he usually did either.
