Page 67 of Demon's Heart
At last, Ollie spoke, his voice shaking slightly. “When I said it didn’t have to be a big deal, I…I didn’t mean it meant nothing to me.” He looked at his lap. “Having you as a friend feels safer.”
Dante’s heart clenched, not sure why Ollie felt that way. “I want you to feel safe and friends is what we agreed on. I’m not asking to change that. We just can’t blur the lines.”
Ollie looked up. “That’s fair. I wouldn’t want to hurt you.”
“I know. And you haven’t.” Ollie shouldn’t feel guilty. Dante wouldn’t trade last night for anything, even if clearing things up strangled something inside him. “Relationships aren’t for you, I know that. I’m not expecting you to change who you are because I have feelings about last night.”
Ollie bit his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth. “Change who I am? What do you mean? Wait. I’m not aromantic. I didn’t mean relationships aren’t for me in that way.”
He wasn’t? Dante had known that was a possibility, but it had seemed equally possible that Ollie was aromantic.
“Oh, okay,” was all Dante managed to say. Opening up tomore than one type of bond wasn’t a bad thing in any way he looked at it. He could only work with what Ollie told him.
Ollie cringed as if he were embarrassed. “Sorry.”
“No, don’t be. There’s nothing to apologize for. I tried not to assume.” Dante faltered. “Can I ask why you aren’t interested in relationships?”
“It’s not that I’m not interested.” Ollie chewed the fingernail of his ring finger, his other arm folded protectively across his body as he seemed to come to some decision.
He straightened. “I’m scared. I’ve been in abusive relationships that took over my whole life, and I’m afraid of getting attached and losing myself and my independence in anus. Especially with our bond. I have feelings for you, Dante, but I need to know I’ll still be me. I need to choose. Being a fated mate is this huge thing, and it scares me that I like you because the bond is everything I shouldn’t want.”
Ollie had chosen friendship as his safe space, and everything that had happened since the beach had been testing him.
Dante reached for Ollie, and Ollie held out his hand. Dante clasped it and held it tight, his heart breaking. “I’m so sorry your past partners didn’t treat you right.”
Ollie looked away, a heavy air of discomfort settling over him. “I don’t want to get into it.”
“We don’t have to.” Dante wished he could take Ollie’s pain away and wrap him in safe feelings.
Ollie’s hand tightened around Dante’s. “Thank you. I’m sure I’ll want to talk about it one day, but not now.” His gaze slid back to Dante and held firm, their eyes locked.
Dante smiled softly. “I’ll be here for you when you do.”
“I like knowing that,” Ollie whispered, voice thick. “I can count on you.”
Fuck if that didn’t feel like the most important thing. Ollie’s trust was a gift Dante would never get tired of.
Ollie cleared his throat. “I’ve always wanted to be open to relationships again—one day—but it’s hard. I don’t know what I need to feel safe. Getting involved is always going to be a risk. But I wish I could figure it out because I want you, Dante, like a boyfriend, a partner, a mate.”
Dante’s breath caught. “What if we could find a way for you to feel safe together?”
Ollie’s face brightened. “Do you think we could?”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I never thought I’d trust anyone enough to get through this with me. But with you…” He gave his head a little shake. “If we could figure it out, I’d take these feelings and run. As long as I can trust them, knowing magic is a part of it all.”
Dante gave Ollie another squeeze. “You can trust your feelings. I promise magic isn’t the driving force.”
The brief flare of hope in Ollie’s eyes faded. “How can it not be when fate said I’m the one for you? Like it’s already done.”
“Nothing is already done?—”
“But we’re already mated,” Ollie said before Dante could finish.
“We are.” Dante tried to give Ollie a reassuring smile. “But that’s only because I chose to save you. Fate can’t tell us what to do. We still get to shape our bond. We can let things progress however we want. I don’t want you to think you have to do anything. This is still a choice. If you aren’t ready, we can stay friends. Being mated doesn’t change that.”
“Okay, but I don’t know how to stay friends after admitting I like you. It’s not what I want.” Ollie glanced away sheepishly. “Is it possible to date as if we aren’t bonded?”
