Page 22 of Holding On to a Hero
“I want to announce it because then I can control the message, instead of having some jerk take photos of Jason and me….” He trailed off and Will laughed. Cole shook his head. “I haven’t actually decidedhowI’m going to make the announcement, because I’m letting Charla Fenton decide whether I come out as gay or bisexual.” Will’s eyes widened and he made an O with his mouth. Charla had been Cole’s beard for years. They’d “broken up” when Cole retired from acting last year.
“I’m guessing she wasn’t really your girlfriend then?”
Cole sighed. “No, and Charla’s got her own reasons for doing it. If I come out as gay it’ll pressure her to reveal her own secrets. So I told her I’d say I was bisexual, but she feels bad about making me lie even though I told her I was fine with it. She’s trying to decide and she told me she’d let me know by the end of this month.”
Will appeared to be having trouble digesting all of this. “Wow,” he said, “I guess I didn’t think about all the other people your coming out would impact.”
“Right. I’ve been planning on announcing it after the rescue ranch opened and is officially operating. There will have to be some press around that and I don’t want my coming out to distract from the important work we’re doing with the ranch.”
“That makes sense.”
“Yes, it did. But I’m ready to be flexible on the timing.” Say what now? Cole hadn’t mentioned anything about this to me.
“What do you mean?”
Cole snorted. “Jason’s been with me for years, so no one thinks twice about seeing us together in public. But if I suddenly start being seen with you? An out and proud gay man? That’s going to cause a stir.” Huh. I should have thought of that.
Will was shaking his head. “I wasn’t expecting to be seen with you in public, like on dates or anything.”
Cole and I shared a glance. That wouldn’t do. “Will, if we get serious, we’re not going to hide you away,” I assured him.
“But we can’t hold hands in public until I’ve done the whole coming out hoopla,” Cole interjected. “So depending on how it all goes with us, I’m just saying I’m reserving the right to change the timing of my announcement.”
I nodded. “That makes sense to me.”
Will shook his head again, but this time he was smiling. “We’ll see. But it’s your decision, Cole.”
Cole beamed back, but then he sobered. “Nothing’s getting announced unless and until we’re in a solid relationship. It was going to be hard enough for Jason to be in the media’s crosshairs when I came out as gay, but if I come out as not only gay but in a poly relationship? It’s going to be a shitstorm for both of you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Will
I couldn’t speak. I was staring at Cole, and my mouth was open. But nothing would come out. He was talking about going to go public with a three-way relationship. A relationship that might includeme. I still was having trouble coming to grips with thepossibilityof dating Cole and Jason, and Cole was already thinking about the press release.
At some point I must have also stopped breathing, because I was suddenly dizzy. I managed to suck in some air, but then I was almost hyperventilating. I became dimly aware of Cole and Jason talking to me.
“Will? Are you okay?”
“Will, put your head down.” My chair was roughly pulled back from the table. Jason’s giant hand shoved against the back of my neck and I was suddenly looking at my boots as he rubbed up and down my spine while ordering me to breathe. My back muscles protested the unexpected movement, and that familiar pain was enough to bring my brain and my breathing back online.
“I’m okay, I’m okay.” I flailed my arms around to get him to let me sit up. Jason’s warm palm continued to stroke my back, and both he and Cole were looking at me with concern. “Sorry.”
I took a big gulp from my water glass. I pressed my eyes closed and then opened them to meet Cole’s concerned green gaze. “I’m sorry, Cole. I’m just, I haven’t had time to even really wrap my head around the idea of dating you guys and then you’re talking about potentially announcing our relationship to the world…. I guess I just wasn’t expecting to discuss all this on the first date.”
Cole came around the table and squatted next to my chair. My hands had been gripping my thighs and Cole picked up my right hand in both of his. Jason stroked his hand down my arm to hold my left hand. “Will, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m just so fucking excited about you that I jumped twelve steps ahead when you’re still at the starting line. But I did mean what I said. I’m going to wait to make any sort of announcement about my sexuality until all three of us are ready. And there’s no rush. I’ll even tell Charla that she has more time to make her decision if she needs it. But seeing where this relationship can go is what’s important, and we’ll only move as fast as you’re comfortable with.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. My skin seemed to burn where his mouth had been.
“Uh, okay. Thanks for saying that. I didn’t mean to freak out on you.”
Jason said, “Will, you told us this morning you hadn’t been dating for a while, and we’re coming on pretty strong. So you need to push back on us when we get too overbearing for you.”
“Not that either of us are bears.” I snorted a laugh and Jason rolled his eyes. At least Cole making a middle school joke had broken the tension.
“Why don’t we move to the couch where we can be more comfortable?” I nodded and pushed back my chair. Cole was still right next to me, and as I stood he pulled me into a hug. “Really, Will, I’m so sorry I upset you. We’ve upset you more than once now – you’re probably regretting coming for dinner.”
But I didn’t regret it. These two had put their hands on me more in the last week than I’d been touched in the last two years. And then there was what Cole’s touch was doing to my dick.
Experimentally, I put my arms around Cole’s waist and grabbed his ass, pulling him close. He looked delighted. He was only a couple of inches taller than me, so our groins were flush against each other. I said, “I don’t regret anything.” And then I kissed him.
