Page 63 of Heart Me Up
And that gave me anidea. It was a slightly evil idea, but I thought it would have an overall positive outcome. If not, I mused, it’d be funny, and it wasn’t like it’d be permanent or anything.
“Hey, Callie. When’s the next night you have off from art class?”
“Not til Friday. And no, I won’t skip for you, not even for fifty bucks. It’s Life Drawing week.”
Greg held up a hand. “Wait, isn’t Life Drawing where they have nude models?”
“Yep,” she gloated, bouncing on her toes. “We have a man tonight and a woman tomorrow night. My favorites.”
Greg whined. “It was only yesterday when you were four years old.”
“Uncle Greg, I’m twenty now. I’ve seen naked people before.”
I intervened to save Greg. He’d done me a solid on Sunday, helping me clean up the house. Next week he’d be on his own. “Okay, moving back to what I wanted to discuss.”
“Sorry.” She gave Greg and me a shit-eating grin.
“You want to earn fifty bucks on Friday night?”
The grin vanished. “For what?” Sigh. Callie was still salty about my trying to get her to go to the Chamber of Commerce happy hour.
“It’s sort of a prank on my friend Malcolm,” I told her. “I’ll get him to agree to the general idea, but the execution will be what he’s not expecting.”
I told them the plan.
Callie was in. “I can’t wait. This is gonna be epic.”
* * *
Craig: Foster, want to come over for dinner Friday night? I’ll cook and Malcolm will, I guess, sit on the couch with his leg up.
Malcolm: I cook. You’ve eaten my cooking, asshole
Craig: Don’t worry, Foster, he’s still taking pain pills at night. He’ll be lights out by 10pm and we can have kinky sex all over the house
Malcolm: I’m ordering some noise-canceling headphones right now
Foster: How do you two live together?
Malcolm: I’m trapped. I’d ask you to save me, but all you have to offer is the cement couch or the stairs of doom
Foster: Sorry. I’d love to come to dinner Friday though
Craig: Great! We can do the thing where we eye-fuck each other across the table in front of Malcolm while we slowly lick the food off our forks
Malcolm: Great! I’ll have time for seconds before y’all can finish
Foster: Wow, I can’t wait for Friday to get here
* * *
Craig: Hey, would you be willing to help Greg’s niece with a project for her art class?
Malcolm: I frighten small children
Craig: Callie’s twenty. It’s a college class.
Malcolm: I will not pose naked, no
