Page 25 of Head Over Feels
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CHAPTER7
FELIX
MAY
Icouldn’t stop worrying aboutMalcolm.
Imean, sure, he was one of my very few paying clients, even ifIhadn’t even invoiced him yet.ButWednesday—onceI’dcalmed down after panicking when he’d asked me about my financial assets—I’ddecided he wasn’t part of some sort of revenge plot forGregoryShaw.AndI’denjoyed spending time with him.Itdidn’t hurt that he was hot as heck.
NotthatI’dever go there.Ineeded his money far more thanIneeded someone to sleep with.
ButnowIwas concerned.
Ididn’t know what he’d been doing or experiencing in his kitchen, but people didn’t usually hug their refrigerators and then take a long time to let go.AtfirstIthought he might be crying, but it almost appeared more like he’d been asleep.Standingup.
I’ddescribed whatI’dwitnessed toSteveandCal, without sayingMalcolm’sname of course.ThesedaysIhad a few clients whoIvisited in their homes, soIhoped the guys wouldn’t make the connection.Thebest we’d come up with was some sort of anxiety orPTSD-type episode.
AndMalcolmhad been embarrassed.Butif anyone could empathize, it was me.Idid embarrassing stuff all the time, and it never got easier.ButsomehowIdidn’t thinkMalcolmwould welcome me mentioning that to him.
AndifMalcolmdidn’t want to talk to me about whatever had happened, there wasn’t anythingIcould do to make him.
Butnow it wasFridaynight andIwas on my way to his house for another session withMariposa.Hehadn’t canceled, soIwas going to show up with the dinnerI’dpromised to bring and pretend like everything was normal.
HopefullyMalcolmwould do the same.
Butas soon as he opened the door,Iknew he’d chosen to freak out and be all weird instead.Heacted… indifferent.Onmy previous visits,Malcolmhad made an effort to be friendly, and there was even a whiff of light flirting occasionally.Butnow he was all business.
“Comeon in.”Hewaved me through to the living room and pointed at the couch whereMariposawaited for me like a queen on her throne.
IhandedMalcolmthe bags ofChinesefood.Heseemed surprised, but he didn’t actually say anything.Hetook the food into the kitchen and messed around with glasses and ice whileIgot started withMariposa.
Sheat least was relaxed.Shelet me settle us on the floor in front of the couch, and she even allowed me to start stroking her legs.Ihad high hopes she’d let me start manipulating her leg joints either this session or the next one.Well, assumingMalcolminvited me to come back.
He’dbarely said a word to me sinceI’darrived, andIwasn’t looking forward to enduring a meal in silence.
Hadhe researched a liability waiver like he’d said he would?Thenwe’d at least have something to talk about.
Iconsidered my options asIkneaded intoMariposa’ships.Icould always go along with the silence, do my job and be on my merry way.Butthat didn’t feel right.Somethingwas going on with him.Wemight not be friends, and he certainly didn’t have to tell me his secrets, butIwasn’t going to let him wallow in feeling self-conscious about whatever had happened onWednesday.
I’dhave to be the one to break the ice.
Hecame back into the living room whenIwas almost done.Mariposahad let me massage her front legs, but she was getting antsy with her hind legs, soIwent back to stroking her sides.Itried to make the end of each session calm and pleasant for the animal, so they’d remember the feeling for next time.Ifshe panicked and needed to get away, it’d be much harder for her to relax in the future.
Malcolmhovered for a moment, still without speaking, soIfigured this was the best chanceI’dget.
“OriginallyIstudied to be a veterinary technician.”Noresponse, but he didn’t walk away. “Ihad dreams of becoming a vet, but the student loans would’ve been crushing.”Hegrunted, whichIassumed meantMr.Financeagreed. “SoIdecided to become a vet tech and try to do night classes or whatever later on for vet school.”Ikept looking atMariposa.Malcolmwas still standing in the same spot, not moving.
“Idid great at all the classwork, andIwas sure my career path was set.”Ihuffed out a laugh and shook my head. “Untilthey sent us out to vet clinics for internships.Idid mine withDr.Pinkerton.Ilearned a lot from him.Hegave me one of the testimonials for my brochure.”Ipaused for a moment, then went on. “Butthe reasonI’mnot a vet tech is that one dayDocPinkertonhad to euthanize a dog.”
IpickedMariposaup and clutched her to my chest again.Sheseemed content to help me through the next part. “I’dhad to put my cat to sleep a couple of years before, soIthoughtIknew what to expect.ButBonJovihad been in late-stage kidney failure.Thisdog had cancer, and it was treatable, sort of.Treatmentwould have extended the dog’s life for a year or so, but the owner didn’t have the money to pay for it.Andshe wanted to put him to sleep before the cancer spread and caused him pain.”
Ipressed my face intoMariposa’sshoulders.Malcolmsat down next to me on the couch, his knee touching my shoulder.Ilifted my face but didn’t look back at him. “Thedog didn’t know he was sick, though.Hewasn’t ready to go.Hefought going under, which made the owner feel horribly guilty.Shewas sobbing andIwasn’t much better.Whenit was finally overIran to my car and left.IcalledDocPinkertonthe next day and told himIcouldn’t do it.Hesaid he understood, but he was proud of me for staying through the procedure.”
Iturned my head and metMalcolm’seyes. “ButIwishIhadn’t stayed.Thosewere the longest minutes of my life and nowIcan’t erase them from my head.”
Malcolm’shand came down on my shoulder.Hecleared his throat. “Iget it.”Inodded and pushed my face intoMariposa’sfur for another moment.ThenIsat back and let her go.Shestood on my legs and started kneading and purring.Malcolmchuckled.
