Page 112 of Head Over Feels
Igave him a thumbs up.Malcolm’sinner neat freak—which he still refused to admit he had—was deeply disturbed by this entire project.TrentandIhad measured the length of the fence so we could line it with enough plastic drop cloths.Icouldn’t do anything about the space above the fence, but there wasn’t a ton of wind today.
“DanielandAugust, can you guys use the binder clips to cover the fence with the drop cloths?”
“Sure,UncleFelix!”Augustcalled.Heput down his phone and hopped up to get the supplies from the pile by the gate.Danieltrailed after a little less enthusiastically.
Iwas still getting used to being called “Uncle”, but the kids were great.Danielwas a fourteen-year-old budding bro-dude but was fiercely protective of his older brother.August, who was sixteen, had a goth-emo vibe, complete with black clothes—though the shorts and t-shirt were a concession to the heat—artistically swoopy dyed black hair, and heavy black eyeliner.Buthis personality sharply contrasted from his stylistic choices.Hewas a cheerful kid who only stopped talking when he was making or watchingTikTokvideos on his phone.
“I’llhelp them.We’realmost ready to go.”Xaviersaid.Hewent over toAugust, who handed him a stack of drop cloths.
TrentandXavierwere living together now.Overdrinks one nightI’djoked to them about my idea forMarcie’snext sitcom to be aFeliciain theCityspinoff about the rejected dates.Tomy astonishment, they’d been interested.
Marcie, no surprise, had been ecstatic.“Oh, my god,Felix, that’s genius.Wecan call itHappyEverAfterin theCity!”AfteradvisingTrentandXavierto demand a consulting fee,I’dput them in touch withMarcieand stepped away from the entire project.
TrentandIspread the giant tarp on the ground and anchored it with rocks in the corners.Thenwe positioned the big white photography screensI’dborrowed fromWill.Thesewould help with visibility and block any possible view of the neighbors’ homes.
TrentandXaviertowed in the little red wagon with its delicate cargo and left it in the center of the tarp.
“Justpull the yellow ribbon,Felix,”Trenttold me. “There’sno delay.”
“Gotit.”Aftermaking sureMalcolmandElliehad closed the back door to the house,Iyelled, “AugustandDaniel, it’s time!”
Danielwhooped.Thispart would be much more fun for him than attaching plastic sheets to the fence.Heran over to the patio table and picked up his remote.Inseconds, the hum of the drone began, and he sent it into the air. “I’vegot visuals from the camera,” he said.
“Great.August?”
“Onesec.”Augustadjusted the tripod and fiddled with his phone.
Ipulled the safety glasses andN95mask out of my pocket and put them on. “August, can you still hear me?”
Henodded. “Readywhen you are,UncleFelix.”
“Okay, go.”
Augustheld up his hand and counted downthree, two, onewith his fingers, then pointed at me.
“Hi, there.Myname isFelix.Youmay have seen the news about the bombing and murder related to the real people the side characters onFeliciain theCityare based on.First,I’dlike to offer my condolences to the family and friends ofDonaldThorpe, the man who was murdered byShawnVanDaalinAustin,Texasa few months ago.
“Ididn’t do anything as heinous as murder, butIdid make some people’s lives uncomfortable by providing personal and confidential details about them to the producer ofFeliciain theCity.
“I’vetold them how sorryIam in person, butI’mmaking this video to offer a public apology to everyoneIwronged, and to undergo an appropriate penance.
“Guys,Iam so sorry.Thisis for you.”
Istepped over to the wagon soAugustcould get it in frame.Bracingmyself,Ipulled the yellow ribbon on the eighteen-inch square box.
Thebox’s sides collapsed, and a fountain of multi-colored glitter spewed into the air.Iflinched back butIcouldn’t escape.Iwas in the direct path of about a third of the glitter as it exploded out and up.
Whenthe glitter stopped falling from the sky,Ishook myself.Theglitter rustled musically as it slid to the ground.Myfeet were covered.Icould feel it in my ears.
Iturned back to the camera. “Thatwas four pounds of biodegradable glitter, folks, or 1.8 kilos for those outside theUS.Thankyou for watching and giving me this opportunity to apologize.I’dlike to especially thank the talentedTrentDurandofTrent’sSpecialDeliveryServicesfor creating this monster glitter bomb.Ifyou’re interested in sending a glitter bomb or other unique greeting to a family member, friend or frenemy, please check out the website displayed here.”
Iwaited untilAugustyelled, “Cut!” before yanking my mask and goggles off and leaning over to put my hands on my knees.
“Youokay?”Malcolmcalled from the back door.Hedidn’t step outside, and he was holding the sliding door mostly shut.Glittercovered the patio.
“I’mfine.Justglad it’s over.”
Malcolmgrunted and shut the door.
