Page 41 of Head Over Feels
Iinterrupted. “FelixandIare exhausted.Canwe borrow your hot tub now?Myleg is killing me.”Guilt, it works every time.
Thisdistracted everyone nicely.Willscrounged up a litter box and water bowl from somewhere, so after setting those up we all trooped over to the ranch house.
Coleproduced some rather form-fitting swimsuits forFelixand me, and we were directed into a guest bedroom to change.Itdid have an attached bath, butColewasn’t trying to be subtle.
Felixcollapsed on the end of the bed, bright blue swim trunks clutched in his hand.
“Youwant to take a nap instead?”Iasked.Iwas halfway hoping he’d say yes.Iwas ready to be alone.WithFelix, of course.
Heshook his head. “No,Ineed to loosen up my muscles.”Heglanced at the swim trunks. “Itseems like a lot of effort to get changed right now though.”
Isat on the bed next to him and set my crutches on the floor. “Well, you could just get naked.Thatmight be easier.”
Hechuckled half-heartedly, but didn’t move.
“Okay,I’llget changed andIcan help you.”Icarefully pulled my t-shirt over my head, thenIwiggled back on the bed a bit untilIhad enough support to slide my shorts and underwear off.Iglanced up when he made a little sound.Unfortunately, it wasn’t a moan of lust.No, he’d made a sort of pained noise and was staring at my right hip.Whichwas black and blue.
Shit, the expression on his face.
“Felix,Idon’t know what was going on with that box this morning, but you don’t feel responsible for the bomb, do you?”
Hislips trembled and his eyes were shiny with tears.
“Fuck.Comehere.”Ipulled him to my chest, and we ended up lying on the bed, me on my back andFelixlimply flopped across me.Istroked my hands down his spine and felt something inside my gut relax.
Hesniffled. “Yougot hurt.Whatif the bomb had gone off whileIwas holding it?You’dbe dead.”Hewas quiet a moment, andIcould feel his breath against my collarbone. “Ineed to tell you the whole story, butIdid some thingsI’mnot proud of.IwishIhadn’t.Whywasn’tImore considerate of other people’s feelings?”
Irubbed his shoulders, feeling a little guilty about how muchIenjoyed being this close to him when he was having a crisis. “It’seasy to get lost in the what ifs.Butsecond-guessing the past can mess with your head.”
“Iknow.”
“Butyou’re doing it right now.”
Felixsighed again and nodded against my chest.
“Youdon’t thinkIsecond-guess and what-if everything that led to my leg getting shot up?”Felixtensed and lifted his head to look at me. “Hell, it’s a big part of whyI’min therapy.”Itapped him on the nose, which made him roll his eyes. “Learnfrom my mistakes.Stopthe self-flagellation and alternate scenarios now.Whathappened, happened.Allyou can do—allwecan do—is move on and deal with it as best we can.”Lisawould be so proud.
Henodded again. “Willyou tell me what happened?Withyour leg,Imean?”
InternallyIgrimaced.Idid not want to relivethatbeforeI’dhad a chance to process the bomb going off, but it might helpFelixif he could think about something other than his own problems.
“Tellyou what, you get your swimsuit on, andI’llgive you the whole unpleasant story while we soak in the hot tub.”
Felixran his hand over my head and tangled his fingers in my beard.Hetugged once, then sighed and carefully sat up. “Let’sdo it.”
Bothof us had to sit on the bed to pull the swim trunks on.Felixhad a nasty bruise on his hip and ass, and another on his shoulder.Myhip was only slightly more purple.
IwishedIwere in a frame of mind whereIcould better appreciate the sight ofFelixin those tiny blue swim trunks.Colewould probably let me borrow them forFelixagain one day.
FelixandIlimped and crutched our way through the ranch house to the back deck.Jason,Cole,WillandBrianwere all in the hot tub waiting for us.Fortunatelythe thing was huge enough there was plenty of room for me andFelix.Unfortunatelyit meantI’dhave an audience whenItoldFelixabout my leg.
He'dlet me wait and tell him later, but fuck it.BrianandJasonalready knew, andJasonmay have spilled toColeandWill.
Thehot tub sat on the deck, not in the ground.Whenthey saw us coming,JasonandBriangot out and helped me andFelixover the side and into the water.Myego hated every second of it, butIwould’ve had a much harder time doing it on my own.
Totheir credit, none of the guys stared at my leg asImaneuvered over the side of the hot tub.ButColehad that scar on his face from last summer, andIknewWill, who came off as a cherubic thirty-something twink without a care in the world, had a messed-up back, internally and externally.Theseguys had learned the hard way not to react when people’s bodies weren’t as perfect as society would prefer.
Felix, though, was trying not to stare atBrian’sscar from when he got shot last year.Brian’sglasses were a little fogged up from the hot water, so maybe he didn’t notice.
