Page 23 of Perfect Order
And I have no idea how I’m supposed to handle that. I have no idea I’ve spoken aloud until Carys says with weary knowledge, “It will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. And you’ll never feel so alone as you do then.”
A sob rips through me. “You do understand.”
She nods, her own eyes damp. Then she stands, and her voice turns brusque. “Let’s get you to bed.”
“I have a hotel room,” I protest, but Carys cuts me off.
“Tonight’s a night you need to be alone, but you need to know someone is watching your back.” She glances at her husband, who has risen to collect our mugs. “We cared for your sister. Let us help you before you have to go to help your parents navigate their pain.”
I capitulate because there’s nowhere else for me to go. Not tonight. And I need my energy for whatever tomorrow is going to bring.
Crying in public is something that happens. Don’t deny it; it’s happened to all of us. We were not surprised to find some of the top places to do so being your car or at airports, but some people seek out the religious section of a bookstore. Really? Over self-help? I’m not judging; I just don’t appreciate why one section versus another. What’s wrong with self-help?
—Beautiful Today
I declared Carys insane when she came to the room the next morning carrying raggedy black sweatpants, a tank top that would hardly cover my midriff, and sparkly Ugg boots. She also has a pair of oversized sunglasses and a black cardigan in her hands. That is until she says, “Leanne, to get past the paparazzi that’s camped out downstairs, you need to become your sister.”
I immediately fly over to the window and find out she’s not lying. They must be three deep. “What the hell are they doing here?”
“I am in no way surprised they’re here.” Carys’s voice is flat.
“Why’s that?” I ask suspiciously.
“You never left. The press was all over the hospital. You didn’t go back to Erzulie’s, and you didn’t check in at a hotel last night. Someone must have trailed us here after we left from the loading dock because there’s a picture of us slipping into the hired car at the hospital.”
I try logic. “I could have used an assumed name.”
She snickers. “Please. These people have a pipeline of their own. I guarantee there was a bounty for anyone hotel clerk or concierge who got a pic of Erzulie checking into a hotel last night.”
I shiver in repulsion, though I’m well aware of the dark places these cretins lurk and the kind of bounties they’ll pay for information. It makes the bug bounties I was paid in college look like chump change. “This is what my sister had to live with?”
“What she chose to live with,” Carys corrects me. She shoves the clothes in my direction and points to a door I’m not even certain I noticed in my grief. “Bathroom if you want to shower.”
I nod gratefully. I can still smell the stench of the hospital all over my skin. “Thank you.”
“Do you feel like eating anything?” Carys questions softly.
I press my free hand to my stomach, and my body bucks at the thought. “No. I just can’t.”
She reaches over and rubs her hand over my arm. “That’s okay, Leanne. Just promise me you’ll try to get some fluids in.”
“I’ll try.” That’s when I notice she’s dressed in all black from tip to toe. Tears begin trickling down my face. “For Kylie?”
“She was an innovative firebrand, and she’ll be missed by many.” Carys’s simple words soothe something jagged inside of me. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen when you’re ready. We have to depart in about thirty minutes.” She spins on shiny black heels when I call out to her. “Yes?”
“Thank you in advance for everything you’re about to help me with but most importantly for who you were to my sister.”
Her face softens before she shares with me, “Every time I called to lambast her about something, she said nothing I could say would be worse than what you were about to make her feel, even if you never saw it in the papers. How is that?”
I turn my head away so I don’t soak my borrowed clothes with fresh tears. “It’s a twin thing. We always just knew.” And with that, I slip into the bathroom to get ready.
David jumps when I step into the room a short time later. “Erzu…Leanne. Sorry. The resemblance is startling.”
I curl my lip a bit. “One thing that definitely changed over the years was the fact Kylie and I used to wear the same clothes.”
A flash of a smile breaks out across his tired face as he hands me a cup of coffee. “Did you really?”
I confirm after taking a much-needed sip. “Through most of high school.”
