Page 75 of Beneath the Devil's Mask
“Your bandage looks a little soiled,” she remarked. “Perhaps you should allow me to redo it with clean linen.”
“No, thank you. My hand feels much better. I can probably dispense with the bandage altogether.” As he undid the wrapping, his knuckles still looked raw, but the swelling had gone down. Mandell flexed the fingers, but his gaze seemed fixed on some distant point. He compressed his lips as though he debated something with himself.
“There is one more thing that happened last night,” he said reluctantly. “I should tell you about it before you hear about it from someone else. That fool Briggs has difficulty keeping his mouth shut.”
Mandell held up his hand for her inspection. “You must have wondered how my knuckles came to be in such a disreputable state.”
“You planted someone a facer?”
Mandell’s eyes widened in such surprise, Anne smiled.
“I had a young male cousin who was very much into blood sports. Am I correct? Did you mill someone down?”
“Yes, I did, as you so aptly put it, plant someone a facer. The face in this incidence might be of some concern to you. It belonged to your brother-in-law.”
“Lucien?” Anne’s smile vanished as she felt the beginnings of dread coil inside her. “You were fighting with Lucien? Why?”
“My dear Anne, two drunken fools at a tavern do not need a reason.”
But Anne was not about to be put off with this glib explanation. “It was because of me,” she said. “Lucien vowed he would have his vengeance because he had been forced to return Norrie. I hoped he would come to his senses and simply forget all that had passed. I should have known better. I will not tolerate his making any more trouble for you. I will have to speak to him.”
“You won’t go anywhere near that bastard.” Something dangerous flashed in Mandell’s eyes, but Anne refused to be intimidated.
“Lucien’s quarrel is with me, not you. I know how foolish men can be when their tempers are roused. The next thing I shall hear is that the two of you are meeting to fight a duel.”
“You confuse me with my cousin Drummond. I don’t fight duels.”
When Anne shot him an incredulous look, he winced. “So even you have heard about the Constable affair. Is that to haunt me for the rest of my life? I was nothing but a green youth.”
Anne did not think he would deign to tell her any more. She was surprised when he continued, “Cecily Constable, despite her spinsterhood, was a lady of vast experience, and she took great pleasure in sharing that experience with me, initiating me into the rites of—ah, er—” Mandell broke off with an irritatedgesture. “I was silly enough to fancy myself smitten with her, that is until the afternoon I discovered her also playing tutor to the stable boy. I was angry, my pride wounded enough to make some imprudent remarks about the lady’s virtue in her brother’s hearing. Derek knew what a trollop she was, but for the sake of the family honor, he challenged me to a duel. For the same reason, my grandfather insisted that I accept.
“So, there we were, two young idiots squaring off with pistols at the break of dawn, quaking in our boots. I was certain my hour had come, but when the smoke cleared, by some miracle I was left standing and Constable was on the ground, clutching his leg. I had shattered his kneecap.”
Mandell looked as though the memory still sickened him and he rushed to finish his tale. “Eventually the leg had to be amputated below the knee, but the strange thing was, Constable did not seem unduly upset. He had defended his sister’s nonexistent virtue. He was satisfied. Cecily was satisfied. My grandfather was satisfied. The only one who didn’t find the conclusion satisfactory was me.”
His face was raw with the bitterness and disillusion of youth. But he was quick to take refuge behind his mask of cynicism.
“I suppose it was a valuable lesson. I learned that it is not honor so much that matters as the appearance of it. Ever since then I have had the good sense to eschew dueling.”
“But you nearly challenged Lucien at Brooks’s,” Anne could not help reminding him.
“That was different.”
“How so?”
“Damn it, I don’t know. It just was. Perhaps Nick was right. Perhaps for once in my life I had found something worth fighting for.”
“To have me, a prize you did not even fully claim? Tell me, Mandell. Why did you choose to let me leave your bed that night?”
He could not seem to meet the directness of her gaze. He turned away, saying impatiently, “I already told you. My conscience finally caught up with me.”
“Was that really the reason? Or did you simply realize that you made a mistake—that I was not quite so attractive after all?”
“No!” He spun around, his eyes blazing. “I have only ever made one noble gesture and I’ll be damned if I’ll have it misinterpreted. I wanted you so much that I ached with the longing. God help me, I still do.”
Stepping closer, he ran his fingers through the tangle of her hair, holding up the golden strands to catch the sunlight. The hunger was in his gaze, stronger than ever, causing her to tremble, but no longer with fear.
“You are a beautiful, desirable woman,” he said. “Obviously, your esteemed late husband never made you aware of that fact. Do you want to hear something truly absurd, Sorrow? The rest of your jewels are still in that pawnshop. I remember the owner pointing them out to me. But I chose to leave them because I didn’t want you to have anything back that Fairhaven had given you.”
