Page 23 of House of Darkness
The scent that greeted me was unmistakably Roman—a sweet, earthy smell of sawdust and the bitter scent of wood oil, layered beneath a smoky aroma. It was difficult to see until Roman moved past me to a stone fireplace along the far wall and started a cozy fire in its hearth. The orange glow of the flames danced along the wooden walls, bathing the space in a soft light.
A long workbench occupied most of the room, tools and wood shavings spread across its well-loved surface. Wood pieces hung fromthe walls like abstract artwork. Next to the fire sat a pile of chopped wood, and a worn splitting maul leaned against the stack. I wasn’t surprised to see the rocking chair just as I remembered it, with the same quilt that had once comforted me after being pulled from the river.
“I’ve been here before,” I said, not as a question.
Roman froze.
I walked deeper into the room, brushing my hand over the thick quilt. The memory, almost forgotten like a hazy dream lost to dawn, lay buried deep within me, never to truly leave. It made sense that the most powerful vampire in the world would have special abilities. Mind powers were rare, and the secrecy surrounding them gave him an edge over his enemies—or his pets.
“I didn’t think you’d remember,” he murmured.
Rage bubbled within me. The feeling of being violated, touched without my permission, surged back. Decades of being forced to choke back my emotions—to just grin and bear it—intensified my feelings of powerlessness and inadequacy. My scabbed-over hands tightened around the fabric of my skirts, the tightness and inevitable bleeding from the pressure a satisfying pain to match the agony within.
I couldn’t hold it back any longer. Choking down that powerlessness and fear was like having a rock lodged in my throat, and I wasdonesuffocating.
“You didn’t think I’d remember you manipulating my mind?” I turned to face him, relishing the way his eyes widened, and he stepped back. It wasn’t much, but having some control over his emotions, as mine had been controlled all my life, felt empowering.
“The alternative was making you suffer the pain and endure my fixing it.”
Endure my fixing it.My mind sluggishly worked through hiswords, the puzzle pieces clicking into place. A wave of revulsion washed over me.
“YOU LICKED ME!” I shrieked.
I remembered now—the slimy caress of his tongue over my ragged skin. Purple spots danced in my vision as I recalled him tasting me while I was under his spell. He promised to not take away my choice, yet he had the first chance he got. A chisel was within arm’s reach, and I grabbed it, my blood from the fresh cracks in my palms smearing over its glossed cherry finish.
Roman's hands went up in surrender. “It’s not what you think, doll. Just like you taking my blood?—”
“YOU HAD ME DRINK YOUR BLOOD?!” I threw the chisel as hard as I could, aiming for his arrogant face. He ducked just in time, and it bounced harmlessly off the back wall with a thud.
I reached for the next tool on the workbench, but in an instant, he was across the space between us. He snatched my wrists before I could grab another projectile, immobilizing me. I thrashed against him like a mouse in a trap, but it was useless against his strength. My own incompetence weighed down on me, and I screamed into his face.
“God damn it, Estrella. Calm the fuck down before you hurt yourself more!” Roman yanked me to his chest and pinned my arms behind my back, his grip firm yet gentle. I hated that my body wanted to sink into his warmth and security. I hated him.
I bit him, right on one of those arms that were too bulky for their own good.
Roman laughed, the vibrations spreading from his stomach through his chest. “So feisty. You know I love your attitude, doll. I love your violence even more.”
He walked me backward, and despite my resistance, I found myself forced into the rocking chair. His weight pinned the chair backas far back as it would go.
He leaned back, his hands still holding mine. “You’re going to listen.”
I glared at him, which he ignored. “Vampire saliva cures open wounds, and vampire blood speeds up healing. Why do you think you’ve healed so quickly? You’re fucking welcome.”
Oh.“I thought it was the salve…”
“What do you think is in that salve? Honey, yarrow, and my saliva. More tasteful than me licking you, as you so delicately put it.”
I shifted uncomfortably, and this time, when I pulled my wrists, he let go. The fire in my chest dulled, the rage closing back up and leaving a ragged, aching hole. “You still didn’t need to manipulate me.”
Roman sighed. His hands moved to the chair’s armrests, causing me to gently rock forward. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to be in pain, but you’re right. It was a violation.”
The ever-shifting power structure of our relationship was shifting once more. Just when I felt like I had a bit of sway, I was reminded of my powerlessness. “What else can you do?”
“I can read the thoughts of others and send my thoughts to them. That’s how I send the visions—I picture them in my mind and send them forth.”
Mortification crept over my anger and helplessness. I was expected to be perfect, and with his powers, that meant my thoughts had to be perfect too. He had heard my every thought and feeling since we met.
“You heard my thoughts about Edward, that’s why you stepped in that night.”
