Page 70 of House of Darkness
I gulped. She’d been right. Another girl cursed to a life without freedom, all because I had failed her. I had promised she would be free, and instead, I was the one who needed saving. If I thought too much about it, I might fall apart entirely.
“You got him, though, right?”
Silence followed my question. Roman’s eyes filled with pain, anger, and helplessness, threatening to swallow me whole. All I’d done was get a girl killed. My pain had meant nothing. “He escaped?”
“Yes. But we’ll get him, doll. I promise. If it’s the last thing I do.”
I exhaled slowly, the threat of tears almost too much to contain. Roman nervously brushed his hand against mine. “You don’t need to worry about any of that right now. Is there anything you need? Anything you want?”
Anything I needed? Maybe he could erase the past week from my mind. I had half a mind to ask him, but no. I needed the rage to keep moving forward. I rubbed my hands down my nightgown. Someone had changed me—this new gown was modest and fuzzy, almost comfortable. Yet it felt impossible to be comfortable with the layer of grime coating me and the ache of hunger in my gut. I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel truly comfortable again.
“A shower… and maybe food.”
He stood, and my heart leaped into my throat. I clawed for his hand, my nails digging mercilessly into his skin. “No! Don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me.”
Roman’s eyes went wide. “I’m not going anywhere, doll.”
He scooped me into his arms, and a million emotions coursed through me at his touch. At first, there was a sense of being trapped and helpless, but then warmth seeped in—comfort from someone I trusted. I hadn’t realized how much I craved that contact.
I found myself on the edge of the bathtub, steam billowing from the nozzle. Roman’s hair stuck out in all directions, and dark bags hung under his eyes. His wings, which I had only seen perfectly preened, hung limply on the floor, as if he could barely hold them up. And his clothes… that was blood on them. He hadn’t even bothered to change. He leaned over and turned off the nozzle.
“Can I help you out of this?” His voice was soft, his touch even softer as he brushed his fingers over the strap of my nightgown.
I closed my eyes and nodded, raising my arms above my head. This wasn’t Codran; this was the man who had saved me three times and never hurt me. The cold air sent a jolt of panic through me, but I willed myself to remain still while the gown was removed. I was safe—I needed to remember that. I was safe.
I opened my eyes and let out another shaky breath, refusing to look down at my battered form. Instead, I focused on him. “Will you get in with me?”
He looked taken aback but quickly schooled his expression. “Whatever you want, doll. Do you want me to undress?”
I nodded. Maybe it was selfish, but I didn’t want reminders of the violence from the dungeons. I didn’t want to think about whether it was my blood splattered across his chest. I wasn’t sure I could bear skin-to-skin contact, but I wanted it. I craved the warmth I knew would be there.
Silently, he unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. His eyes stayed trained on me, watching my reaction as he revealed every inch of skin. With each layer peeled away, I reminded myself that this wasn’t Codran. He wouldn’t hurt me. He stepped into the bath and tenderly pulled me in with him.
It was almost embarrassing how much comfort I found in his arms. I leaned back, letting the scent of sawdust push out the stale air and high-end cologne. His arms wound around my middle, and though I had feared the touch would send me spiraling, it didn’t. It reminded me of the ocean, the garden, and happier times. If only I were still that same girl, but I wasn’t sure I ever would be again.
Looking down at my own body, I grimaced. Bite marks laced myflesh, a kaleidoscope of colors patchworking my skin. I remembered how each bruise had been made—could practically feel his hands on me. I choked back a scream and let out my breath through gritted teeth like a whistle.
I grabbed the soap bar from the edge and started scrubbing. The grime just wouldn’t come off. I scrubbed harder, but it was no use; I could still feel his hands on me.
“Gentle, doll.” Roman’s hand wrapped around mine, easing the bar from my fingers. His gentle strokes replaced my rough scrubbing.
The suds formed, concealing some of the bruising, but it didn’t help. Tears welled in my eyes. “It’s not going away.”
“I know,” he said, his arm tightening around me. “But it will. Maybe not today, but it will.”
It felt like something was blocking my throat, making it impossible to breathe, and hysteria took over. My breaths came out in sobs, my vision blurring. Roman rocked me back and forth silently until the sobs quieted. Then he pushed a bottle of soap into my hands.
“Can you do something for me?”
He brought his left wing forward, the outer feathers falling into my lap. I knew what he was doing. It was a small gesture, but it was something to hold onto so I wouldn’t completely fall apart. I took it gratefully, pouring some of the creamy solution into my palms and running it through his soft feathers. The feeling of his silky down replaced the jagged touch of my skin.
“Thank you, doll,” he said absently, working the soap up my legs.
When he reached my hips, he paused, but I shifted to grant him access—a silent acknowledgment. My angel wouldn’t hurt me. Not that it mattered; I was already hurt. Minutes passed before he opened the plug on the tub and turned on the faucet. Grayish-brown filth swirled away, replaced by clean, hot water. I tried to imagine all mydarkness disappearing down the drain with the filth, but it didn’t work.
At some point, Isabella entered and left a tray of food beside us, silently summoned by Roman. If she was surprised to find us, she didn’t show it. She merely smiled lovingly at me before leaving without a word. I couldn’t will myself to care that she walked in on us naked in a tub together. So many people had seen me vulnerable before—people I didn’t trust—that it just didn’t matter anymore. I grabbed a piece of toast and shoved it in my mouth.
“I should probably check on my sister,” I said between bites.
