Page 71 of House of Darkness
“We can do whatever you want, but you don’t need to do anything until you’re ready.”
I finally turned to look at Roman. At some point, he must have washed his face because the grime was gone, and his hair clung to his forehead and neck. His eyes were soft, his jaw set, but he forced a half-smile.
“I can do that?”
“You can do whatever you want.”
I frowned. “Doesn’t that make me a bad person?”
His hand reached up as if to cradle my face, but he paused inches away. “No. Nothing you choose to do right now is wrong, doll.”
I tugged his hand into my lap, tracing the lines on his palm as I thought. “I’d like to take today, then, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay. We’ll tackle tomorrow when it gets here.”
I nodded, leaning my head against him and refusing to let go of his hand as my eyes fluttered closed. Tomorrow, I could handle everything, but right now, I was just so tired.
I woke only to realize we were no longer in the bathtub. I was in cozy pants unlike anything I had ever worn, feeling secure, a shirt that smelled like Roman, and wrapped in my blanket. Roman had fallen asleep in the chair beside me, his head resting on the bed, curls splayed like ink across the sage blankets. His arm was thrown over my lap, trying to protect me even in sleep. I knew how guilty he must feel. It wasn’t his fault, but he’d blame himself all the same. I ran a hand through his hair and let sleep take me once more.
The nightmares came once again.
Chapter 36
ESTRELLA
Istared into the vanity mirror, and a stranger stared back. Weak and battered. My lip was split where Codran had hurled me against the cell bars, and my skin bore a patchwork of green and yellow bruises. A haunted glaze lingered in my eyes that I just couldn’t shake. The worst mark was the bite Codran left, a black ring spidering out into dark veins, a constant reminder of his venom.
In my hand, I clutched a simple cotton neck cuff. I hesitated. Would putting it on mean hiding the bite in shame, or would not wearing it draw unwanted attention? Maybe I was overthinking it; maybe it didn’t matter at all. Nothing seemed to these days.
Roman stood a few steps behind me, his hands tucked into his pockets. “Do you want me to help you?”
I laughed—a harsh, broken sound. The last time he helped me with a neck cuff, it was to cover that he had respected my wishes. Now it would only conceal the truth that someone else hadn’t. Back then, my biggest problems had been my feelings for Roman and my quest for freedom. My entire world had flipped upside down, yet here we were, as if nothing had changed. The irony would have been funny if it weren’t so tragic.
“No. There’s no point.” I dropped the cuff onto the vanity.Everyone in the castle had already seen the bite anyway.
It had been nearly a week since I woke up, and we’d spent most of that time holed up in my bedroom. I couldn’t bear to face anyone, and he couldn’t stand to leave my side. None of his exhaustion from my awakening remained; a few nights of sleep had restored him. I could only wish for such a quick recovery.
“Let’s go.” I stood, shaking out the thick cotton skirts of my dress. I had avoided visiting the girls for a week, unable to confront their brokenness and my own failures. Roman had assured me it was okay, but I knew it was cowardly. Guilt had finally pulled me from bed.
Roman walked with me across the hall to where Charlotte and Solaris stayed. They had been offered their own rooms but had understandably chosen to stay together. At the threshold, Roman gave me a reassuring nod. “You saved them. Remember that.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I muttered.
He sighed, but he didn’t argue. I was grateful—arguing was beyond my energy. “I’m just one floor up, okay? If you need anything, just think it. I’ll hear you?—”
“I’ll be okay.” I forced a smile we both knew was fake. “Quit worrying, mother hen.”
He sighed and reached for my cheek, then hesitated, dropping his hand. “If I’m not back when you’re done, you can come find me if you’d like.”
Then he left, leaving me alone. I took a shaky breath. If I thought about it too long, I’d find a reason to flee. Instead, I gripped the handle and shoved the door open before I could think twice.
I nearly collided with Catina on the other side. Her short hair was tied back in a messy ponytail, her eyes ringed with exhaustion. We stood frozen for what felt like an eternity. I wanted to lash out, to hurt her with my venomous hatred. But that hatred wasn’t meant for her,she was just here. Instead, I held my chin high. “I wanted to see them.”
Catina nodded, stepping aside. The room resembled mine, adorned in soft sages and browns, with a wall of arched windows. A four-poster bed had been pushed against one wall, and another crammed beside it. In the center stood a tea table, haphazardly set with four chairs.
Isabella sat with Charlotte and Solaris. In front of them was a platter of picked-over food. I stepped to my sister’s side, resisting the urge to cringe. Solaris had always been remarkably beautiful, but now her light was extinguished. She looked skeletal. Her once-vibrant eyes were dead and flat. Someone had braided her hair, but its luster had vanished. Her skin was pale, marred with bruises, bite marks, and cuts. Charlotte didn’t look any better. It was as if their life forces had been siphoned away through bloodthirsty fangs.
Solaris smiled at me as I sat, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “We’re free now, like you said.”
