Page 105 of Claimed
“Why what?”
“Why do you suddenly want to have a baby?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“Do you love me?”
He stops in his tracks, giving me a deer-in-the-headlights stare.
“Well? Do you want a baby because you’re in love with me and want us to be a family, or is this some Neanderthal move to mark your territory? Am I even your territory? What are we doing? Am I your permanent, personal Hound? Or is it temporary?”
“You’re not a fucking Hound. You’re my –”
“Woman. Yeah, I know. I told you how I feel about you, and now I want to know. Do you love me?”
His shoulders droop in resignation. “I don’t know.”
“You don’tknow?” Tears begin to form in my eyes as I watch the man I love more than life itself, fight an internal struggle over a simple question.
“Raven, I don’t know what love is. It sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. I care about you, more than I thought possible. The only other women I’ve cared about are my mom, sister, and aunt. I’ll take care of you and occasionally fuck you senseless. I want you and I want a baby with you, but I can’t give you all that extra shit. I’m not built that way.”
He’s not built that way. I knew that. I knew it and I still let myself fall in love with him. My fault, I guess. As the tears roll down my cheeks, I move to the chest of drawers and get dressed. I grab my car keys, purse, and phone, then head for the door.
“Raven –”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
The door clicks behind me and I try to concentrate on walking – one foot before the other. I don’t know where I’m going, but I need to get out of here. I bump into Dr. E and he stops me in the corridor.
“What’s going on, beautiful?”
I shake my head, words refusing to pass my lips. He pulls me into his room and motions for me to sit on the bed.
“Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing,” I finally muster. “Just a little misunderstanding.”
“Then why are you crying?”
I don’t want to discuss my stupidity of falling for a man who claims he doesn’t even know what love is, so I broach the subject he can actually help with. “Has Gage said anything to you about wanting babies?”
“Why?” He furrows his brows. “Are you pregnant?”
“No. At least, I don’t think so.”
“What did he say?”
“That he wants to have a baby. He threw out my pills.”
Dr. E is shocked into silence. Obviously, Gage hasn’t spoken to him about it.
“What doyouwant?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.” Would I have Gage’s child? Hell yeah. I just don’t know if now is the right time or if I want to do it without a solid commitment. That’s the least he could do if he thinks he’s not capable of love.
“Are you using condoms?”
“No.”
