Page 115 of Tethered Souls
“Yeah.”
Then come home.
“Good.” My chest burns as I think about telling her I love her. My fingers tighten on my phone. But I don’t blurt them out. I want to make sure they’re not coming from a place of manipulation. A way to get her to not betray me. I want her to genuinely want me like I do her.
“When you get back,” I say instead, “come see me.”
“It’s a long drive, Varius. I might not get there until early morning.”
I don’t care.“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Sure.”
I hang up, then shove the phone in my pants pocket. My irritation is back like it never left. ‘Sure’ isn’t a word you use when you want to see someone.
Looking forward to it.
I can’t wait.
Thoseare fucking things you say when you want to see someone.
Shoving my middle fingers into the black rings I left on the bench, I make my way to the door. I detour first, though, back to the bag and swing an angry fist into it. With my rings of strength on this time, the bag flies across the room, knocked clean off its chain, and ruptures when it hits the wall. As sand pours out onto the gym floor, I yank open the door and storm out.
Rudy is waiting for me, and my footsteps halt at the sight of him.
“You okay?” he signs.
I nod and start to walk past him, but he darts in front of me and puts a hand on my shoulder. His power pushes into me, slamming into my chest with all the power of a bolt of lightning.
Micha flashes in front of my eyes in the arms of another man. And she’s happy. Smiling and laughing and looking at him like he’s the fucking world.
I swat Rudy’s hand away, but I don’t tell him to fuck off. If he were any of my other brothers, I would’ve shoved him, but he isn’t. He’s a boy I raised, so I breathe out heavily as I look at him.
“You should tell her you love her,” he says, and my heart trips over itself.
“It’s not that simple, Rudy.”
“Why not?”
Because she might be a traitor.This whole time we have been together could have been nothing but an act. I don’t know when that bulletin went out about the ledger. Did she take it the first day? Has she been biding her time? Building up my trust? Playing me like a fucking fool while she waits for me to turn my back so she can stab me in it? Just like Vinny and Myers did and so many other Family cousins and uncles?
He reaches out for me, moving slowly, letting me back away if I want to. But I don’t. Because I already know what he’s going to show me. I already know what I’m afraid of.
His hand touches my chest, causing goosebumps to flair across my skin as I see her for a second time.
She’s pregnant and chasing a little boy around the house. He runs to a sofa, then dives behind the back of it where she can’t reach. Giggling. Laughing. He crawls away from her as she roars, pretending she’s some great beast.
My chest squeezes.
Grows tighter still.
Because then I see me. Smiling. Joining in as we chase our boy around the house. I grab him and lift him in the air before turning him into an airplane to chase Micha.
Rudy drops his hand, and the magic fades. It takes a huge ass part of me with it.
“It’s not normal to be afraid of being happy,” he says.
“I can’t afford to be weak.” To have a weakness. To lose my edge when I have thousands of people counting on me to make the right choices for this Family.
