My shoulders cave in. My lungs open up, and I close my eyes as I just take a moment to breathe. I can have a future with Micha. A family… One I won’t have to hide from the reaper. My throat clogging fast, I force out my next question before it closes completely. “Why did you call Aleric?”
“Because he can phase.”
“No, why did you callhim? How did you know he would help?”
She swallows. “He wants something from me.”
“...lotion every night.”I still have no idea what the fuck that means.
“What?” I demand.
She shakes her head. “That’s between me and him.”
Perhaps ‘lotion’ was the end of a word. Or it’s a name, a code. He fed on someone. Does he want access to them every night?
“Who did he feed on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Khalid?” I press, wanting to make sure.
“No.” The word is hard, nearly violent. Like if Aleric even thought about it, she’d kill him.
I study her, try to spot the emotions she isn’t showing, the subconscious micro expressions that will let me know if whatever deal she made with him is going to destroy her. Despite the pain she’s caused me, she did it out of love. To save my life when I was only a baby.
“Did Myers know about this spell?” I ask.
She nods. “He must’ve used it on Vinny beforehand.”
Silence descends between us, but it’s lacking the tension from earlier. It’s lighter now that secrets have been cleared. Now that guilt and shame have been lifted.
Exhaustion suddenly hits me all at once, and I head for the door. Just as I turn, I notice her raising what’s left of her whisky to her lips.
Wanting that same kind of distraction, I glance towards the stairs. My brothers’ voices drift up as they drown their sorrows, but I don’t have the urge to join them. It’s not drink I want; it’s my little monster.
Shaking my head, ridding myself of that weakness, I start down the hall towards my bedroom. I open my door so I can fall into bed, only to immediately stop.
Micha’s sitting on my bed, freshly showered and naked. Her legs are crossed, and her bag rests on her lap. “I brought a set of clothes so no one will know I stayed the night,” she says as she lifts her bag.
“You’re not sleeping here,” but I don’t move out of the way for her to leave. I step inside and close the door behind me. Only so I can activate the silence ward though. So no one can hear us.
“I got some gloves off Sharee.” She reaches into her bag and pulls out a pair of metal gloves used to restrain a witch. If we can’t move our fingers, the majority of us can’t cast spells. “And a gag.”
My mouth runs dry. “Why are you doing this? You just learned our kids might die because of me.” I don’t tell her they won’t, not yet. I want to hear her answer. Why she’s trusting me, putting herself in such a risky position for the second time, the first being that night in the woods when she fell asleep.
“Because I might be yours, Varius,” she says, a hard glint in her eye, “but you’remine. Now get over here because I’m fucking exhausted.”
A weight lifting off my shoulders, I take a step forward.
Thirty-One
HER
My heart skips a beat as I watch him walk towards me. His guard is still up, his footsteps measured and weighted like he’s ready to turn around at any moment. Time slows as I wait to see if he makes it, if he’s willing to build this bridge with me. Because I now know that running with him will never be an option even if Khalid is dead. I see the love Varius has for his brothers. The responsibility. He might be the boogieman to the boogiemen and even his own family might see him as such, but I seehim.
I see the pain. The overwhelming agony over his uncle and cousin’s betrayal. The last of his solstice has crumbled. The camp he never expected to get bombed due to it being so far back from the front lines has just been hit. Now he’ll strike out even harder to prove it wasn’t a crippling blow. His paranoia will increase. His guard will triple, his thick-ass walls becoming thicker.
But even then, I will see the truth he hides – his need to just be loved. To find someone, anyone, who won’t ever hurt him.