Page 44 of Kiss Me at Midnight
“Don’t knock anything soul-searching. It’s rare to find another soul I want to learn more about.”
His words stole her breath. At least, until she remembered it was a line from one of his films. “I remember that movie.Sentimental at Sunset.Smooth line, Mr. Hambly.”
“It worked though, didn’t it?” His smile was a thing of beauty. It chased all the ugly memories back into their box. It helped that he kissed her.
“Is it midnight? It feels like midnight,” Lily murmured. “It feels like my time with the prince is coming to a close.”
“The fake dating part,” he allowed.
She didn’t want to argue about what wasn’t going to happen when they got off this yacht. “How do you want to break up?”
“Can’t we throw Paulo under the bus first? You heard Rachel tonight. She thinks their relationship is an open book. Knowing Paulo has understood her all this time might make her cancel the wedding.”
Lily opened her mouth to argue, but instead found herself saying, “Are we an open book?”
Jud’s arms loosened around her.
“I mean…” Lily hurried to explain. “Paulo said Rachel had recorded your conversation with your agent. Is there something I need to know?” Something that might make her regret sharing her past? She held her breath, hoping Jud would ease her mind.
“We argued about my image and my career trajectory,” Jud admitted slowly. “Darian doesn’t support my move to directing, mostly because I could make more money for both of us in the immediate future by committing to Titanium Talon for another three seasons. And I feel…I feel caught in the middle. Talon is more than just a superhero. He’s flawed and dealing with a less than pleasant past he needs to resolve.” Jud kissed Lily’s nose. “But my dad… Man, he wants me to move on. It makes me wonder…”
“Don’t doubt your talent as an actor. You’re brilliant.” Lily lay her palm on his cheek. “An academy award nominated actor. You’re not a hack.”
“My father doesn’t respect the superhero genre.”
“Grandma Dotty would say you should always follow your heart. And it sounds like you have a love for playing Talon.”
“Darian would say I should always build my bank account.” Jud’s fingers tangled in her hair, brushing up her nape. “But he’s pulling for Talon, too. If I just didn’t have this nagging feeling, like I’m missing an opportunity that’s right in front of me.” He stared into Lily’s eyes.
She waited for his kiss, but it didn’t come. “It’s hard, isn’t it? Figuring out what to do with your life, for the rest of your life?”
His fingers stilled. “Adulting, you mean?”
“Yes.” Why wasn’t he kissing her? After hearing her past, was he thinking he should dole out kisses sparingly? “Increasingly, I feel like I’m at a crossroads, like that heroine in the movie you want to direct. I know deep in my heart that I want to help others, but I’m just not sure that politics is the best place to do that.” Not to mention there was a lot of repression Rachel and Jud had recently made her aware of.
Jud’s hand cradled the back of her head, keeping her focus on him. “Instead of becoming the first woman mayor of New York City, you could start your own charity.”
Because she wanted more touch, more connection, Lily ran her hand lightly up his arm, into her hair, linking her fingers with his. “Wouldn’t I be a cliché then? An heiress always raising money for her personal charity?”
“Who cares what others think if it brings you joy?” He drew their joined hands down until they rested between their hearts.
“And we’re back to following my heart.” But not his. Lily realized he’d deftly swung the subject away from himself to her, and she’d let him, afraid that whatever he wasn’t sharing would drive a wedge between them.
“It’s late and we haven’t finalized our plan to force Rachel’s hand.” Jud’s voice was deep, rich and soothing. If they’d been anywhere else, she could almost believe she could fall asleep in his arms.
That was a first.
“Tomorrow at dinner,” Jud was saying. “I’ll accuse you of having feelings for Paulo. That will upset both Rachel and me. And then you’ll storm out.” The timbre of his words roughened. “Jealousy is a powerful emotion. My parents only fight when they’re jealous.”
Lily sighed. She knew jealousy too well. “My mother used to be resentful of my father’s mistresses, and with good reason. Now she just self-medicates and pretends to be happy, which makes it easier for my father to be emotionally unavailable.” Lily hated that selfish part of her father. “I often wonder how their marriage would have been if Mom had a fulfilling life or career before she’d married. Now, she has nothing of her own to keep her occupied or fulfilled. Their relationship is part of the reason I work so hard at my job and my future, more so than my ability to open up in a relationship. I want a place in the scheme of things before I commit to someone. And that man needs to be worthy of my trust. We need to be each other’s open book.” She hadn’t meant to say so much, to reveal so much.
It must be the gentle motion of the boat. Or the shared secret mission they were on. Or the way the stars glimmered above them. Or a dozen things she loved about Jud and a dozen more she expected to find.
Things I love about Jud…
I could love Jud.
She was more than half in love with him already.
