Page 167 of Heartless
“Your relationship with the old guy has nothing to do with me, baby.You don’t need my permission to visit him.I’m all for it, and I think that’s very kind of you.”
I smiled at his profile.“It’s only part kindness.He was in the Navy, and he has tons of stories.He’s nice and funny, but his children don’t visit him.One is on the other side of the country and the other, his daughter, hasn’t spoken to him in years, so it’ll be good for both of us.”
After that, we talked about his father and our jobs for the rest of the trip.
****
Jake followed me intothe condo and set my suitcase against the wall in the hallway.My heart had started racing in the elevator, and I took a deep breath as I flicked the light on and headed for the back counter.
“Would you like a coffee or a drink?”
He slanted his back against the island and crossed his ankles.“I’m good, baby.”While I kept my back to him to switch the kettle on, he said, “I want to talk about you.”
Back to facing his hyper focused gaze, I took a deep breath, which did nothing to quiet the tumult raging in my heart.“I think you know everything there is to know about me.”
“I want to talk about us.”
There we were.I straightened my back.“There’s no us, Jake, and I’m not discussing Matt.”
In one of his giant steps, he was close, and his warm hand curled around the side of my neck.
That felt too good.I shifted back, and he put his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
The bass of his tone unfurled in the deafening silence.“I was an asshole.”
I took a deep breath.“Yes, we’ve ascertained that.”
“I shouldn’t have said what I said to you.I didn’t mean any of that shit.”
My whole body screamed as I looked into his eyes.“Jake, I know you were in pain because of your dad, but you burst into my...your condo, took one look, and you called me a whore.Awhore.”
He flinched, but I ignored it.“Even if I had slept with Matt...even if I had slept with a dozen people, it wouldn’t make me a whore unless I had sex for money.But you were hurt, and the first thing you did was hurt me.And in just a few words, I was a Morrison, a whore, and soon to be homeless.”I took another deep breath.“I know you have more experience than me at the whole relationship thing, but if that’s what—”
“I’ve fucked more people, but they were not relationships, and they knew exactly where I stood.Baby, everything about you is new to me.”
Oh God, his expression made me want to be in his arms and stay there.My heart squeezed.“Jake, every time you hurt me, I have to pick myself up and choose to trust you again.If I stay with you, am I supposed to brace myself in case you lash out when something bad happens or when you misread a situation?”Tears stung the back of my eyes.“I know you care about me.I know you’re physically attracted to me, but you’ve taught me not to expect you to protect my heart.”I cleared my throat, but my voice still came out shaky.“ And the truth is I want to be with someone who will.And that’s not you.”
Leaning close again, his eyes locked onto mine.“Coming here fucking hotheaded was fucking wrong, baby.No excuses.But I fucking swear it, Sienna, it’ll never happen again.”Both his hands curved around my face, and his voice was gruff.“I’ve been an asshole all my fucking life...and you...You bring me so much beauty, and I don’t know how...I’ve never had that.”
I dug my nails into my palms.Taking an agonizing step back, I shook my head.“I’m not putting myself through that again.”
The slight jerk of his body was painful to witness.“Sienna—”
“I’ve started looking for an apartment, and in the meantime, I’ll pay rent.I should be able to afford the condo until—”
“No, you fucking won’t.”
I gasped.Jake got close.His warm hand curved around the side of my neck, and I just stared.“I was destroyed, and I needed you.I’m fucking sorry for hurting you again.But you’re not paying...”
The thundering beats of my heart drowned the rest of his sentence.I was destroyed, and I needed you.
He was always so strong.An overwhelming force of nature.And the day he’d been in turmoil, he’d come to me.My mind scrambled, and my heart trembled.
“Sienna?”
I blinked at him.“Uh...What?”
“You’ll stay for as long as you want, and I’m staying close until you’re safe.”
