Page 72 of Heartless
We locked eyes.His were smoldering.Tears burned behind mine.
His gaze roamed my face for long seconds before he set me on my feet.But he kept me close.
“What is it, baby?”
My throat squeezed, and I broke out of his arms.“I can’t do this...with you.”
His brows drew together.“Do what?”
“What I said to Nigel is as much for you as it is for me.So, please don’t...”I waved my hands between us.“Don’t do...this.I mean.You don’t have to do...to force yourself to become...physical with me.”
His scowl gave way to an expression I couldn’t read.“Physical with you?”
Dear God.I sounded like a prudish idiot.A knot strangled my chest, but I rolled my shoulders back.I was Caitlin Winslow’s daughter.A woman who’d beaten cancer three times.I could do better than this.
After a deep breath, I walked backward toward the sofa.He stepped toward me.
“Stop.Please, stop.”
He did and raked his hand through his hair.“Baby, I won’t hurt you.”
I shook my head.“But you already did, Jake.”
The clench of his jaw turned his face into stone.
At a safe distance from him, I exhaled slowly.Closure shouldn’t be so terrifying, and yet every cell in my body had frozen while fire was bubbling under the skin of my face.
I straightened my back.“I know you don’t care, but the too-quick orgasms and the...and the shitty blowjob...”
His words lashed through the storm raging in my head.His words were the storm.
“Sienna—”
“Let me say this.”
At his nod, I cleared my throat again.“Between my mom, my job and school, I only dated a couple of times, and...I’m...I uh...”Dammit, Sienna, just say it.“I have no sexual experience, Jake.”I forced the words out.“You were going to be my first.”
Jake’s head jerked.And the absolute stillness of his body was formidable.He shut his eyes while a muscle ticked in his clenched jaw.
His dark gaze hooked onto mine, and I forged ahead.“The intimate details you ridiculed....The bet...”
I let the brutality of the next wave roll through me.I was still standing.
“You...made me feel ....”I sucked in a breath before facing him again.“The messed-up part is when you kiss me, my body can’t tell the difference.”
The energy vibrating off him weighed heavily in the room, and something akin to remorse crossed his expression.When he stepped closer, I shuffled back, and he stilled.
I had to keep moving forward.“I’ll fight Nigel with you.But please, stay away, Jake.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed.He watched me for long seconds, and his expression made my heart stutter.
“It’s your turn,” he said low.
I blinked.“My turn for...what?”
“You’ve taken care of your mother, and no one has taken care of you.It’s your turn to be cared for.I’m going to be there for you.”
My brain fogged.“There for me?Like...my friend?”
