Page 70 of Petals of Blue: Part One
"Because then they won't leave," Levi finishes my statement with a heartbreaking truth I didn't even think of. "Roman, Blue is still learning how to be happy."
I frown thinking about all the great stuff she does and her new job. "I thought she was, though."
Levi gives me a sad smile. "She did too until you four wiggled your way into her life and showed her she could havemore.But only if she accepts all the hurt in the past and moves on."
My forehead aches with the depth of my frown. I feel like Levi's talking in riddles, but maybe it all makes sense in a complicated, messy, beautiful way.
"Blue's figuring out how to allowmoreinto her life. She grew up with less and built herself a life giving to others. She'll figure out thattakingisn't a bad thing, and that sheisworthy of love."
My heart cracks and bleeds. Of course I've thought of what wounds she may carry after her childhood and young adult years, but hearing someone else's observation who is much closer to her than I am right now is painful. It's sharp like an ice cube slicing down my throat, forcing me to process the chill and wait for it to be warm enough to digest.
The thing is, I don't think I'll ever be able to digest the death of Erica Bennett. But watching the evolution of Blue will be, without a doubt, the highlight of my life.
"Love the determined look," Levi interrupts my epiphany like the ass he is. He points to the bench and bar. "Now lie down and give me three."
Amped up and ready to take on the world, I bench press two hundred fifty pounds two and a half times—Levi helped the last one—but you know what, that'sabsolutelya win.
Forty-Five
BLUE
“Mama...there's a reason I wanted us to drive separately."
Violet hasn't stopped glancing at me every few seconds for the past five minutes. I've been waiting her out, hoping like hell she'll finally open up about what's been going on.
The ups and downs have been jarring. Like the day after we had dinner with the guys and she ditched me in their home of sexiness, she was completely different again.
I had been hoping, since she was bright and bubbly again for a few days before today, that whatever happened had passed. Nope. I was wrong. I felt a bit out of sorts the next morning after Jared made me come. So I wasn't prepared for teenage angst again.
Violet actually refused eye contact all day and admitted she was having friend trouble. Pissed, I tried to ask her to elaborate, but she told me to back off and locked herself in her room the rest of the day. I've been left feeling like I have a sixteen-year-old who, unfortunately, has the privileges of an eighteen-year-old.
Once again, my nerves were shot to shit, and all I could seem to focus on is everything that could be wrong in my kid's life. Not to mention, I felt like shit for not knowing.
We're closer than mother and daughter, closer than cousins. We've been through some shit. For once, she's not allowing me to go through it with her.
"Why, V?" I ask softly, not wanting to spook her by sounding too manic. Pushing too hard would definitely push her further away. It feels like she's finally reaching for me, and I'd be a fool to mess it up.
I swear I hear Violet gulp. It's Halloween, our favorite holiday. The one we always bond on, but she feels so far away this year. Is this what being a parent is? The crippling sensation of something precious slipping through your fingers?
Violet invited Roman, Felix, Jared, and Declan to the theater with us, and while she didn't cancel on them, she begged to have them drive separately. I was a bit taken off guard, but of course I said yes. Honestly, I was thinking she might not want to be stuck in a car with four large men that I've kept in limbo since the summer.
"Violet?"Don't push, don't force.I'm fucking terrified, though.
She sighs far heavier than any teenager should, which makes me feel horrible. Like I've failed her. "So, don't be mad."
Fuck. I stiffen. We're three fucking minutes from the theater where the guys are already waiting. This feels big, and yet we have minimal alone time to actually talk.
"Okay..." I agree hesitantly. My ass is sweating.
"There's this guy...person...on my socials who won't leave me alone."
I tense, every protective mom instinct powering on and flipping right to fucking high. Immediately I start going through all the self-defense moves Violet doesn't know.She's not safe.
Violet continues while twisting her phone around in her hands. "I've blocked him. I block all the weirdos, but he keeps making new accounts and messaging me again."
Don't flip out. You're driving. Just keep driving. Let her talk.
"I know it's the same person because he always says the same things. It's weird. Sometimes he goes a few days without creating a new account, but he always comes back." Violet shivers, and I almost punch the steering wheel.Who's harassing my kid?!
