Page 62 of Origins
I was just emotionally exhausted. Between everything else that had happened—and now whatever this insinuated. I was stupid, pathetic, and depressed. Miles had even attempted to get me with poison-free chocolates—making another store run and everything. But that did nothing to lift my spirits.
There was only one thing that I could do—my job.
While Julian cleaned up from dinner, I limped my way back to the living room and settled myself in an office chair. Someone had to watch these screens. Even though Damen said that he had “people” on monitor-watching duty, it probably wasn’t the same as me being here.
I had been an idiot about a lot of things, apparently. But taking care of the ghosts in this house was my personal responsibility.
Titus claimed the other office chair and was tinkering with my phone and his laptop. Eventually, Julian and Miles joined us in the room, but remained silent as they typed on their phones. Meanwhile, Damen seated himself in one of the high-backed chairs in the room. He had been quiet for a long time, and just watched me—motionless.
It was somewhat unnerving, but I tried to ignore his unrelenting stare. I was becoming numb to his freakish ways. If he was entertained by staring at a blob, then he could go for it. I couldn’t stop him—I wouldn’t be the one to cave first.
“Bianca,” Damen’s voice cut through the tension in the room like a knife.
I hummed in response, not turning my tired eyes away from the screens. I had won at something, at least. Besides, I knew what his nosy butt wanted anyway, and he wouldn’t get it. I didn’t care anymore. Not even his scorching gaze would deter me. I had a job, and I couldn’t miss an instant.
“Bianca, look at me.”
I pressed my lips together painfully. Why couldn’t he let me wallow? He was so meddlesome and stubborn. I didn’t need him to get all psychological on me.
I’d show him. I could be more stubborn. I’d already won once and I’d do it again. I couldn’t look at his handsome face at all right now.
“Bianca! Can you look at me, please?” Damen repeated, his voice commanding.
And, for some reason, I couldn’t help myself. I looked at him. Our eyes locked, and I was captured by the intensity of his concerned gaze.
No. I didn’t want concern, or pity, or anything else. I wanted to catch this ghost and move on with my life. I was used to disappointment, so I would be fine.
But this wasn’t over between Finn and me. No matter what Titus found on my phone, I’d no longer be surprised. In fact, I had a feeling that Finn’s betrayal ran deeper than I could imagine.
Why Finn would want to control my phone, or lie to me—I had no idea. I almost didn’t even want to know the reason. It wouldn’t change how it affected me.
Someone sacred had been destroyed.
“What?” I meant to sound annoyed so Damen would back off. There would always be some things that I’d have to deal with on my own. However, my voice sounded pathetic and broken, even to my own ears.
And for some reason my vision was blurry too—imagine that.
Damen cursed, and was on his knees in front of me before I could even blink. Then—just as suddenly—I was pulled from my seat and into his arms as he sat cross-legged on the floor.
“It’s alright,” he breathed the words into my hair. His voice seemed to reverberate through me as he spoke. “We’ve got you now. We’ll take care of everything. You don’t need to pretend anymore.”
The way he said it—his words sounded like a promise. It touched me more than anything else ever had. I had been torn—toggling back and forth between two sides of myself.
I actually contemplated ending this friendship before it went too far. After everything that happened with Finn… I couldn’t handle my heart being ripped out again by someone else. While it was true that being alone terrified me, being hurt felt even worse.
But, there were good people out there. There had to be. I had—apparently—never known them before in my life. But that only made it more likely for me to find someone else soon. There must be something good in store for people who’ve suffered the most.
I had to believe that.
There was something different about these guys, and I wanted to believe in this connection. Nothing about this relationship was normal. With them, it was as if my anxieties melted away. Fears and feelings that clouded my mind in any other situation were lifted—I felt like I had regained a part of myself. Even with Finn, it had never felt so right.
Opening up was so easy, and so intimidating. But, I couldn’t stop myself. I gripped at Damen’s shirt, not caring if the fabric became wrinkled. He had money, he could buy another. And with that, the dam burst.
“Please don’t let this be a lie.” I felt pitiful—it was difficult to force my pride aside in order to say the words. Every disappointment flashed through my mind: life in foster care, my adoptive parents, Finn…
I was truly alone. “I can’t do it anymore.”
Damen crushed me so tightly that I could scarcely breathe. But breathing didn’t matter. I could only relish in the comfort and security of his arms while I broke down completely.
