Of course I was! “But—”
“Darling, relax.” Julian’s voice changed into something softer.
I wanted to pull away, but Julian’s hands remained firm on my face. My breathing remained uneven even as Julian lowered his forehead to mine. He muttered something under his breath, but I couldn’t make out the words.
I had no idea what he was doing. But a second later, it didn’t matter. My eyes closed and everything faded away. Miles, Mr. Weaver, my worries and fears. All that existed was Julian and me.
“Breathe,” his voice was low, but I heard him nonetheless. “Repeat what I do.”
His words seeped into me, sneaking past my barriers and filling me with a sense of calm. I couldn’t help but to obey. My breaths automatically synchronized with his.
I was calm. I didn’t have to worry about anything anymore.
I wanted to let Julian take care of me.
As soon as the thought crossed my mind, my eyes popped open. I had no idea where that idea had come from, but the possibility of that ever happening was unthinkable.
This was not normal.
His face was entirely too close to my own, and our eyes met. His breath danced across my face. And something shimmered in his gaze, an unrecognizable emotion lurking beneath the surface. What it might be, I had no idea.
Didn’t he have any imperfections? Did any of them?
Would it be unhealthy to drink mouthwash from now on?
He didn’t retreat, and his hold on my face hadn’t softened either.
“Julian?” I whispered his name, and it was impossible not to notice the way his eyes flickered to my lips. The atmosphere was suffocating.
But then his hands were gone and he had set me back on the couch.
“I’ll be right back,” he muttered to Miles in a strained tone. And without another word, he rushed out of the room.
I could only stare at the place where he had vanished. I had no idea what had happened, but it felt equally dangerous and bizarre.
I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
Miles cleared his throat, and my bewildered gaze turned to his. His face was bright red, and he was clearly trying to maintain his composure. But I couldn’t tell if he wanted to burst out laughing, or something entirely different. His mouth opened, but his words remained unsaid.
Why were boys so confusing?
“Do you need a drink?” I offered, trying to diffuse the tension that was thick in the air. “You look ill.”
My question appeared to make him even more uncomfortable. “A drink of water might be what you need,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Then he met my eyes, ignoring my question. “Do you frequently have anxiety attacks? And just so we’re clear on this, even if Mr. Weaver had been killed over his research into this house, you aren’t going to prison.”
I expected the reminder to fill me with dread. But my mind was full over what had just happened with Julian. Instead of panicking, I only stared at Miles.
What did he think about the moment that Julian and I shared? Miles had been a few feet away throughout the entire exchange. Then there was Mr. Weaver, but he seemed to have vanished at some point.
“What?”
“Have you forgotten already?” He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms in front of him. He still sat on the floor, and in this position our faces were even. So it was difficult not to notice the teasing glint in his eyes. “While I’m not finished with my education yet, Iamstudying to be a lawyer. There are some things I do know.”
My brows furrowed; he was acting cocky for someone still in pre-law.
Despite that knowledge, relief still rushed through me. “You’re not a lawyer yet,” I pointed out, in case he might believe he knew everything. I didn’t want him to get too comfortable and stop studying.
His answering grin assured me nothing had changed. If he had a thought about what had happened between Julian and me, he didn’t plan on elaborating on it.