Page 96 of Ghost
In a perfect world, it might have worked. I would have been confident and fearless. A self-assured woman that was comfortable in my skin. I would have married a man that loved me, and had four children to dote on. I dreamed of the house with the white picket fence. I’d have cooked and gardened, and made sure my family was happy. I would never have hit or neglected my children. I would have given them everything I lacked growing up. And when my husband came home from work, I would have greeted him with a smile.
I wantednormal. But no matter what, there was no way I could have that.
Maria sighed. I glanced up to see she was pinching her nose. “Who cares about whattheythink? In the end, it comes down to you doing what youwant. Not dressing to conform with what makes other people feel comfortable. If they weren’t here, would you want to wear these pajamas?”
“Yes…” It felt stupid, but perhaps this was the first step toward becoming a new woman? Maria wasn’t wrong, I really shouldn’t change for others. I knew that. After all, Jiayi wore what she wanted, and she was confident.
“Good.” Maria was back to touching things around me, returning the jewelry back to their previous places. She touched the crown to my head, then grinned, pulling out her phone. “All you need to do is to be yourself. You look adorable. Now, time to get back. Hopefully Miles has proven himself.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Miles
Measure
Damen slouched in his chair. “What do you think they’re doing? It’s been ages.”
Surely he was exaggerating, which wouldn’t be a surprise. Damen was the most impatient of us. To confirm, I checked my watched and glanced back at him. “It’s only been ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes wasted.” His eyes left the doorway and focused on me. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
I touched my earlobe in response. “I’m not doing it! You know I can’t until—”
“That’s not what I was talking about.” Damen rolled his eyes. “But if it bothers you that much, I’m sure there’s yarn around somewhere, Aine crochets. Just tie it around your ear.”
I had my finger up to protest, before I realized he was right. I hadn’t lost the game yet, there was still hope. But…
“What did you mean then?” I asked, studying him.
He appeared to be relaxed, sans the tapping of his foot. But I knew Damen almost as well as I knew myself. And it was obvious he was both confused and angry. A combination that, on him, didn’t bode well. It was usually a prelude to him doing something stupid.
Damen was brilliant. He was passionate and a brainstormer. But without someone to guide his actions, Damen’s reactions were sometimes based on instinct. Despite that, if we were a completed quintet, he was the person from whom we took our lead.
We all have our strengths and weakness. And Damen’s weakness was if he was confused and angry, he relied on his pride and ambition to make decisions.
Which was not a good thing.
Likewise, my biggest weakness was my tendency to internalize my worries. To ignore my feelings in order to take care of others. Which, of course, caused me to become anxious.
With Bianca around, it was easy to get anxious too. She had a knack of doing the exact opposite of what you’d expect. Just like earlier today when—
“Oh!” I sat up in my seat. “You’re talking about what happened at practice?”
I had been so focused on beating Maria, that I had completely forgotten. I couldn’t help it. Since we’d arrived, my focus was in shambles. I wanted to watch Bianca’s flushed face always, but I also wanted to toss Maria out of the window.
This wasn’t an emotion I felt often toward Maria, but with her hitting on Bianca…
In some aspects, Maria was more annoying than Titus. Titus couldn’t help some of his more irritating habits. Habits such as eating meat in his sleep, reclining around the house in the nude, or even ruining every camping trip we’d ever planned.
Just once in my life, I’d like to go on a trip where Titus didn’t eat the local wildlife. As it were, it was going to be impossible to finish my research on Sasquatch if he kept tagging along. And I would really like to get that reward.
“Yes, Miles.” Damen rubbed his temples. “What happened in practice? I didn’t get a chance to speak to you before… Maria. But I did see your text.”
Right.The text informing the others that Bianca had gotten into trouble again. It wasn’t a long message, I had only moments to shoot out the message before driving. And I had been trying to make sure Bianca put her shirt back on at the time.
A strange sensation stirred within me at the recollection, but I quickly squashed it. This was not the time to recall how trim Bianca looked in that form-fitting camisole.
And to make matters worse, Bryce had been there. Recalling that detail made the warm feeling vanish.
