My throat closed. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. But it was Julian who answered.
“Why does she need to do that?” His voice was ice. “She’s already been off two weeks.”
She shot Julian an almost-exasperated look. “Julian—”
“Why do you want to suppress her abilities?” he asked.
“That’s confidential,” she replied smoothly, not looking at all afraid at the cold glare from her son. “If you’re going to be interning with me, then you need to learn to trust me. My patient is Bianca, not you. Now sit there quietly and let me talk to her.”
Julian froze, and fury rolled off him in waves.
“Now, Bianca.” She completely ignored her irate son. “How have things been? I see there’s been some changes.” She looked pointedly at our hands and the spot where Julian’s leg touched mine. “That’s a good thing. But as for others…” She paused, seemingly hesitant to speak, but pressed forward anyway. “Bianca, how has it been—seeing spirits?”
Julian jerked. Surprise cross his expression. He peered down at me, our eyes meeting, and I shrugged.
I didn’t understand the reason for the question. Especially after the subject had been avoided for so long.
“Fine…” I answered slowly, unsure if there was a correct answer to this. It was strange to be discussing this with the doctor who’d told me everything was my imagination. “They’re there…”
It wasn’t a lie. The spirits were there. I didn’t know what else she expected.
“You’re not frightened of them?” she asked.
Well, it would be lying to say that I wasn’t, but—
“They aren’t all bad.” I glanced at my leg. The mark on my ankle had disappeared. “One attacked me in a bathtub. Another one tried to strangle me. Then there was a wolf who wanted to eat me for dinner. And there’s a sexist old man who keeps insulting me.”
Her eyebrow had risen higher with each point. “And you’re still… all right?” I shrugged in response, and she tilted her head. “Did you see anything that frightens you in particular?”
Not necessarily. They were all creepy and scary in their own way. However, the living were far scarier than anything in the spiritual realm. For example, Daniel Cole. And even myself…
I was worse than anything else out there.
Julian fidgeted before speaking, unable to hold himself back anymore. “What is the point of these questions? What does that have to do with any—”
“Bianca.” Dr. Reed put her hand up, cutting off Julian’s question. “Are you ready to talk about your first spirits?”
My musings halted, and a sense of numbness began to crawl out over my skin. “What?”
“The first spirits you encountered as a medium,” she repeated, holding my gaze. She was looking for something, but what it was, I had no idea. “Everyone remembers their first. What was yours? Can you tell me what happened?”
This questionagain.
It was one of the worst questions they’d ever asked me. My ability to speak was suddenly lost. I was suffocating.
It was my fault. Everything was my fault.
Sound muted, and time faded from my awareness. All that existed was the cold dark night and the drowning rain. Kieran’s face swam in my vision, his expression darker than usual. Worry and fear flashed across his silver eyes as he realized what I had done. He didn’t have to say a word, I could already hear the lecturing in his deep voice. I’d replayed that conversation so many times.
I messed up. There was no way to make things right.
Gradually, color began to flash through the darkness. I wasn’t there. That was a long time ago. A familiar voice whispered into my ear as safe arms held me. My eyes opened. I was looking up into Julian’s panicked face.
“Bianca.” He sounded a second away from crying. He’d pulled me into his lap, and his hand cupped my cheek. “Bianca, are you all right?”
Dr. Reed, who had been hovering in the background, slowly returned to her seat. “That’s worse than before…”
“Before?” Julian turned to her. “This has happened before?”