Page 148 of Balance
“And you don’t?”
Miles had been plenty protective. Except, of course, he had tried to sacrifice me to a wandering spirit only two days ago—
“I’ll always protect you.” Miles’s brows furrowed, and he studied me for a moment longer before leaning forward, pressing his forehead against mine. My heart began to race; this lecture was beginning to turn into something entirely different. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted—I can’t help but want to keep you safe. However, I agree with Titus: I trust that you know your limits.”
“But—” That contradicted the statement he’d just made.
“That being said, I also don’t think you’re being completely honest with yourself.” He brushed his nose against mine, his fingers twisting in the blanket. Even if I wanted to run—which, admittedly, I didn’t—it would be impossible to stay away from him now. My pulse soared, and the evening grew a bit warmer.
Here it was again—this sometimes dominating side of Miles. I’d seen a glimpse of it before when he’d walked me to class, and the time he chased away my panic. It started coming out more than ever throughout this uninterrupted time we’d spent alone together. I was torn between challenging it or letting him be. My thoughts were whirling, and it was impossible to figure out which Miles I preferred.
I barely remembered my own name.
He sighed, running his thumb over my hand. “You don’t want to face your fears. I know exactly how that goes.”
I sucked in a breath—this wasn’t fair. How would he know what happened while he’d been gone on this silly Sasquatch hunt? “I’ve been getting better! I even talked to Damen about some things.”
“Did you?” he asked. “Did you go to him first, wanting to talk, or did he come after you until you opened up?”
My chest grew tight, and my breath caught.
“That’s what I thought.” Miles sighed, closing his eyes. “Damen’s really good at that.”
“I talked to Damen because I trust him…” My voice wavered. Jealousy had a way of twisting Miles’s usual good-natured expression into something stabbing, and I rushed to add, “I trust you too.”
“You don’t talk to me,” he ventured, jaw tight. “Not in the same way you do with Damen and Julian.”
How was I supposed to respond to that?
“I know, I need to earn it.” His breath quickened. “Maybe this is my fault. If you could trust me, maybe next time you’d listen when I ask you to do something that would save your life. I want you to believe I know what I’m doing.”
“Miles?” Where was he going with this? Why was he acting weird?
“This ritual will fix all that.” His breath brushed against my cheek, and the hair on the back of my neck stood in response.
“What is it? Why do you need to do it now?” I tried to step back, to put space between us, but his hold remained steady. My panic grew, but not for the same reason it would have in the past. Now, the thing at the forefront of my mind was concern. For Miles. “Is it dangerous?”
Miles rolled his eyes. “Nothing is without an element of danger—”
“Don’t give me that!” I twisted my arm free and pointed at him. “What were you doing here this whole time? Were you evenlookingfor Sasquatch?”
“Yes!” Miles locked his jaw and turned his head to the left. “Look, I graduate this month…next week. I’m behind already, and I need help. At this point, it’s not going to happen. There are only two ways for me to move to the next level: find a talisman or use this potion.”
“What…” How did one task relate to the other, and how did that relate to Bigfoot?
“If you track down a magical creature, you’ll get something for your trouble,” Miles explained. “The talisman you’d receive supports your abilities, making it easier for a witch to focus their powers. The potion does the same thing, but it’s made from incredibly rare ingredients and requires a great deal of intention to create. UsuallyIwas the only one able to create it—I’m not quite sure how Kathleen had the strength.”
“Oh…” I pressed my fists to my chest, hoping that my pounding heart couldn’t be heard. Finally, I was getting some answers.
“You can’t get stronger without it?” I pressed on, noting the shuttering of his expression. “Are there things you can’t do?”
Could he be like me?
Miles frowned. For a second, I didn’t think he’d answer; but then he sighed, shoulders relaxing as he rubbed his elbow. “There are parts of my abilities that I can’t seem to grasp. It’s frustrating—like the answer is right out of my reach, but I can’t find it. Sometimes it seems like I’m being left behind.”
My breath caught, because he’d summarized my feelings so perfectly.
It was a constant source of humiliation for me, especially since I’d prided myself on being so prepared, but Bryce, Brayden, Xavier, Dr. Stephens… even the four boys in my own quintet all knew more about the supernatural world than me. And while that was to be expected, what bothered me the most was that everyone seemed to know more aboutmethan me.
